What do you do when your body won't give you what you're praying for? 
Worship leader and pastor Jessie-Rose Rayner opens up about her ongoing journey through infertility, IVF, miscarriage, and the brutal question every person in ministry faces: How do you keep leading when you're barely holding it together? 
This is an honest conversation about worshiping in the wait, writing songs you can't sing without crying, and finding God's presence in hospital rooms and infertility clinics.
WHAT WE COVER: ✅ The reality of spending $100K on IVF with no guarantee ✅ Leading worship while going through IVF treatments ✅ The unique pain of miscarriage that only those who've experienced it understand ✅ Writing "I Can't Wait to Meet You" - a song to a baby she's never held ✅ Navigating a devastating church scandal at 21 years old ✅ What worship leaders won't tell you about ministering through personal pain ✅ Why Jesus performed his greatest miracles right after grief ✅ The difference between victimhood and victory ✅ What Gen Z is demanding from the church (and why they're right) ✅ Her neighbor being stabbed to death—and what it revealed about the fragility of life
KEY QUOTES: "I don't want to stand before God and say that grief had sidelined me.""What are the songs for the hospital rooms? What are the songs for the infertility clinic? What are the songs for the marriage that feels like it's on the rocks?""It's less about what happens to us and more about the story we tell ourselves through it.""The pain of a miscarriage is like the most hardest thing to understand unless you go through it.""The giants are my bread."
TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 - Intro 5:04 - Jesus's response to grief will change your perspective 10:27 - Can you minister in immense pain? 16:40 - The pain of miscarriage no one talks about 20:38 - The church conference during her first miscarriage 24:01 - What story are you declaring over your life? 29:16 - The giants are your bread 34:03 - "My eyes have seen, not just my ears" 39:15 - The church scandal that almost destroyed everything 42:01 - Why she stayed when everyone left 48:32 - Writing songs for the infertility clinic 52:00 - When the right song drops on your worst day 55:01 - Is everything really an offering to God? 57:45 - Life can end in an instant 59:09 - Still in the thick of IVF - $100K invested 1:00:18 - Battling anxiety as a worship leader 1:05:15 - What's happening in the Australian church right now 1:08:03 - Gen Z wants the REAL thing
ABOUT JESSIE-ROSE: Jessie-Rose Rayner is a worship leader, pastor, and songwriter at Kingdom Culture Church. She's walked through years of infertility, IVF, miscarriages, and church crisis—and somehow still believes God is good. Her music has ministered to thousands walking through their own valleys.
CONNECT WITH KINGDOM CREATIVES: Instagram: @kngdmcrvs Website: www.kingdomcreatives.com.au
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Drop a comment: What's YOUR giant right now? 👇
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#worship #testimony #infertility #miscarriage #christianpodcast #worshipleader #ivf #faith #kingdomcreatives
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⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains candid discussions about miscarriage, infertility, church abuse, and violence. Viewer discretion advised.
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