In this episode, relationship psychologist Susan Quillian returns to unpack the subtle signs of a healthy connection—and the warning signals we often overlook. From emotional generosity to self-awareness and patience, we explore what truly makes love last. Whether you're dating, committed, or navigating single life, these insights are for you.
Susan QuilliamPsychologist, coach & prolific author
🧠 Over 30 years helping individuals and couples navigate love, intimacy, and emotional connection
💌 Agony aunt for two decades, including a long-running advice column in Cosmopolitan
📚 Author of 20+ books, including How to Choose a Partner and the modernized 2008 edition of The Joy of Sex
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💚 Green Flags Matter: Look for signs of emotional availability, curiosity about your life, and mutual give-and-take.
🚩 Red Flags to Watch: Beware of partners stuck in the past, dismissive of your needs, or emotionally unavailable during crisis.
🧘♀️ Balance Is Key: Healthy relationships involve both partners being grounded in themselves and interested in each other.
💬 Kindness Counts: How someone treats others—like servers or strangers—often reflects how they’ll treat you.
🪞 Self-Love Builds Better Love: Knowing and loving yourself creates the strongest foundation for any relationship.
🎯 Patience + Presence = Growth: Supporting each other through challenges fosters deep personal and relational development.
🤯 Inner Conflict Is Normal: Being “torn” is part of being human—acknowledging it helps you move forward with clarity.
🔦 Being Single Isn’t a Flaw: It’s a valuable season for reflection, healing, and reconnecting with who you are.
🛟 Support Can Be Transformative: Whether through therapy, friendship, or coaching—seeking help is strength, not weakness.
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🔥 Fireside chat🔥:
Favourite Quote: Just do it
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💫 3 things you get joy from:People food & dance
🧘 A mantra you want to embrace now would be: There is always an answer to everything.
🎬 A favourite film / book / artist — that isn't obvious (and why): Caravaggio
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Mentions:
The Torn Project
🔍 Key Learnings from the Episode: