029 The Gratitude Trap: Why “I Should Be Grateful” Keeps Lawyers Stuck

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The Lawyer Burnout Solution

Heather Mills

30 episodes

2 days ago

You might think burnout is just part of the deal in law, but it’s really about what we’ve been socialized to believe we “should” be doing to prove ourselves, especially as women. The good news is that you can change those thought patterns and create a career that doesn’t burn you out. Hosted by Heather Mills, a coach and former class action attorney, this show offers practical tools to help you escape burnout culture without sacrificing your career or income. You’ll learn how to restore your energy, build a sustainable legal career, and stay in control of your success. Press play and take the first step toward feeling good in your career again. Heather understands the unique pressures for women in law – the urge to prove yourself, the drive to overwork and be perfect, the expectation to put in endless hours, and all the ways we’re taught to measure our worth by how much we achieve and do for others. That's why she's on a mission to end burnout culture for women in law. This show is all about giving you the concrete tools, strategies, and mindset shifts you need to reclaim your energy, confidence, and career. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by long hours, wondering how long you can go on like this, or questioning if success has to come at such a high personal cost, this podcast provides the support you need. Tune in every week to break free from burnout and discover how to create a legal career that actually feels good to live in, not just impressive on paper.

All content for The Lawyer Burnout Solution is the property of Heather Mills and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

029 The Gratitude Trap: Why “I Should Be Grateful” Keeps Lawyers Stuck

The Lawyer Burnout Solution

19 minutes

2 days ago

029 The Gratitude Trap: Why “I Should Be Grateful” Keeps Lawyers Stuck

If you feel flat or overwhelmed even when you “should be grateful,” you’re not ungrateful. You’re depleted.

You can remind yourself you have a good job, a solid paycheck, or meaningful work. You can list all the reasons you should feel thankful. But when your system is overloaded, gratitude becomes a performance instead of a feeling. And that is where so many lawyers get stuck.

This episode of The Lawyer Burnout Solution breaks down why “I should be grateful” is often a protective thought rather than real gratitude, and how chronic stress disconnects you from your own emotional truth. This is not about mindset. It is about physiology. When your nervous system is overwhelmed, your emotional range narrows and appreciation becomes harder to access.

Heather Mills shares how moralized thinking turns normal human emotions into judgments about your character, why women lawyers experience this pattern so intensely, and how forced gratitude quietly keeps you small.

You will learn:
• Why “I should be grateful” becomes self-correction instead of support
• How depletion creates numbness that looks like ingratitude
• The difference between gratitude that expands you and gratitude that silences you
• Why women lawyers use gratitude to stay agreeable and avoid conflict
• How real gratitude returns naturally once your system has rest, safety, and space

Drawing on nervous-system science and years of coaching women attorneys, Heather explains how the Gratitude Trap forms and what it takes to reconnect with yourself without guilt or pressure.

Every time you choose honesty over self-silencing and compassion over self-judgment, you step out of the Gratitude Trap. That shift changes how you feel, how you relate to your work, and how you show up in your life.

If you’re ready to understand why gratitude has felt out of reach and what it takes to feel genuine appreciation again, this episode offers a grounded path forward.

Want more support?
Ready to move from depletion to grounded self-connection? Book a free Stress Reset Call with Heather at heathermillscoaching.com/call. Together you will look at what has been weighing on you and explore your next step toward emotional steadiness and self-trust.

Follow Heather on LinkedIn and Instagram for weekly tools, insights, and stories that help you recover from burnout and lead sustainably in law.

Full Show Notes, References, Episode Transcript, and More Resources for Women in Law:
029 The Gratitude Trap: Why “I Should Be Grateful” Keeps Lawyers Stuck
https://www.heathermillscoaching.com/blog/029-gratitude-trap-lawyers