In this episode, I’m speaking with Nisrine Maktabi, a trauma-informed coach and registered psychotherapist with over a decade of experience supporting newcomers, international students, and multicultural professionals in Canada and globally.
Nisrine usually works with newcomers and second-generation immigrants, helping them work through something most immigrants don’t recognize as trauma: people-pleasing.
Surprised? I was too. She says people-pleasing isn’t about being nice or accommodating. It’s a survival response called “fawning”—your nervous system’s way of keeping you safe by making others happy. For children of immigrants especially, people-pleasing becomes how they survive in families where belonging feels conditional.
Conditional on you operating within the rigid rules about behavior, identity, and cultural adherence.
Nisrine and I chat about why your nervous system adapts to keep you safe. We also explore:
The coconut effect and why strict parenting backfires
Canada’s systemic barriers for highly educated newcomers
Why discrimination triggers old wounds, and how to process them
How to connect your children to their roots without imprisoning them