One of the more demanding areas to explore in coaching, and in life in general, is how we live out our values. Values don’t just deal with questions of pragmatism - what’s useful or effective - they reflect what we stand for. And to stand for something, usually means that you will find yourself standing against something else. Your values are likely to rub up against other people’s. In short, there is a cost to living out our values consistently.

There are plenty of ways you can identify your values, such as through on-line assessments, working through values card decks, by observing your heroes, or in conversation with a coach or mentor. That’s the easy bit - the challenges arise when it comes to putting your values into practice.

How about this one. What do you do with the challenge of when two of your values rub up against each other? You stand for justice - fairness for everyone - and you stand for loyalty - you privilege certain close relations, be they to friends, family or your team.

What do you do when your values, each of which are good in themselves, clash with each other? There are ways of adjudicating between values when they clash and it makes sense for you to have worked out your own principles for how you will do this before any values challenge arises.

I'd like to offer you some clues.  To start with, it’s helpful to explore where your values come from. You can follow your heart, follow your family, follow the crowd, follow the rules or follow the One. When you are clear about from where you are drawing your values, you may well be able to find a defining value around which the others revolve. I provide a worked illustration - a values clash - and six different suggestions about how you could resolve it.

And I share some straightforward and intuitive coaching questions anyone can use to get a better handle on these issues. 

The third facet of a thriving life is living it well. I hope that, through your own exploration of these insights, you will be able to live it better.