Okay, maybe not everyone's relationship with their loved one is in the pan after having a child, but anecdotally and statistically, many parents find themselves facing relationship challenges with a little one in the mix.  Leila and Kim are no exceptions, and we share a very cathartic chat about how and why our marriages have changed, and what we can do about it.  In this episode: We set the scene by describing our relationship foundations before having kids We compare notes on how our relationships have changed since having kids We take a look at the statistics of relationship degeneration after having children, including results from the Science Baby Parenting Survey We examine the reasons behind the changes, including a loss of protective relationship behaviours, an unequal division of the mental load, and the snowballing effect of maternal gatekeeping We describe how our loss of personal identities contributes to our dissatisfaction at this stage of life We discuss a study that suggests that marital unhappiness could just be a product of western society  Finally, we talk about some of the tools and techniques for dealing with relationship issues.  I'm a big fan of Philippa Perry's book "The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will Be Glad You Did)", which you can buy here.