What if unlearning prejudiceāracism, sexism, homophobiaāwas treated less like a test to pass and more like a recovery journey?
Thatās the heart of Becoming Less and Less, a framework Iāve developed through Inclusive Psychologists Ltd., inspired by the 12-step recovery structure and grounded in the Six Stages Framework (SSF).
This approach invites us to move beyond perfectionism and shame by asking one powerful daily question:
āWhat am I becoming less and less of?ā
Not overnight. Not performatively. But slowly. Honestly.
With sustained effort, accountability, and reflection.
The idea is brought to life in our new podcast episode, Conversations Around the Dinner Table, which draws on the real-life story of Robbie Mullenāformer neo-Nazi turned informantāas portrayed in ITVās The Walk-In. When asked in court if he was still a racist, he replied simply:
āLess so.ā
That response stays with me.
Because it reminds us: progress is possibleāeven for those stuck at Stage -1 or -2 of the SSF.
But it doesn't happen by accident. It happens through daily commitment, support, and the courage to stay in difficult conversations.
š This isnāt about making excuses.
Itās about telling the truth: change takes time.
And we all have a role to play in helping one another grow.
āØ Explore the guide.
š§ Listen to the podcast.
š Share with someone starting their journey.
Letās make space for imperfectionāand keep becoming less and less of the problem, and more and more of the solution.
š§ Listen to the 5 minute podcast: Conversations Around the Dinner Table
YouTube
TikTok video
š§ Listen to the 16 minute podcast: Becoming Less and Less: 12 Step Journey to Inclusion
YouTube
The 12 Steps: Your Reflection Guide
The following 12 steps are not a checklist for perfection. They are a reflection guide for those committed to the ongoing journey of growth, one step at a time.
1. I acknowledge that I have internalized bias and prejudice.
2. I commit to becoming less and less of a racist, sexist, homophobe, ableist, or discriminator.
3. I listen to voices Iāve ignored or silenced.
4. I reflect on the impact of my words and actions.
5. I accept discomfort as part of growth.
6. I notice when I want to shut down or walk away.
7. I speak up when I hear harmāeven when itās uncomfortable.
8. I surround myself with people and spaces that challenge me to grow.
9. I apologize when I get it wrongāand learn from it.
10. I support others on their journey without expecting perfection.
11. I understand this is lifelong work.
12. I engage in a daily check-in, asking myself: What am I becoming less and less of, and what am I becoming more and more of?
Conclusion: Your First Step Is Today
Meaningful change doesn't come from perfect performance, but from consistent practice. By reframing the work of unlearning bias as a recovery journey, we are freed from the paralysis of perfectionism and empowered to take small, meaningful steps every day. The goal is not a final destination but a continuous process of becoming better. So, the only question left to ask is the one that starts the journey: Today, what will you become less and less of?
And to be clear-this isnāt about making excuses for racism, sexism, or any form of harm.
Itās about recognising that deep change doesnāt happen overnight.
We donāt leap from denial to liberation in a day. We take small, consistent steps-and those steps matter.
This is aboutĀ doing the work, not avoiding it.
Because growth is possible, especially when itās personal.
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