What started as a 4:15 a.m. thought spirals into a full-blown deep dive on biblical fashion, purple sashes, and why Jesus might have been the original Ninja Turtle. Todd and Eric debate the historical practicality of robes, speculate on sash functionality (storage? style? loaves and fishes?), and take detours into Jedi wardrobe choices, South Park, and Genghis Khan’s surprising contributions to humanity—namely, pants and hamburgers. It’s equal parts history lesson, pop culture mash-up, and random middle-of-the-night musing that will leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about ancient wardrobes.

• Why purple is tied to royalty and how it became part of Jesus’ look.

• Artistic choices in depictions of the Last Supper.

• The robe-versus-pants dilemma of biblical times.

• Genghis Khan’s surprising fashion and food legacy.

• Jedi wardrobe logic (or lack thereof).

• The Ninja Turtle method of character differentiation applied to apostles.

• The possible practical uses of a sash (including storing miracles).