The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.
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The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.
Why You Fell for Your Partner (and Why You Keep Fighting Them) — Part 2
The Virtual Couch
1 hour 12 minutes 13 seconds
2 weeks ago
Why You Fell for Your Partner (and Why You Keep Fighting Them) — Part 2
In Part 2 of Why You Fell for Your Partner (and Why You Keep Fighting Them), Tony Overbay, LMFT, continues the story of Jack and Jill — a fictional couple built from hundreds of real couples he’s worked with in therapy.But this time, the story shifts. What happens when children grow up with emotional safety, repair, and consistency? What does love look like when it’s modeled, not managed — when connection feels safe instead of chaotic?Tony explores how secure attachment is formed through co-regulation, how parents teach emotional safety through presence instead of fixing, and how those lessons echo into adulthood — shaping how we love, argue, and connect.Through rich storytelling and neuroscience-backed insights, you’ll learn: • What healthy co-regulation sounds like in real life • Why conflict in secure relationships feels safe, not scary • How consistent emotional repair rewires the brain • Why secure partners are drawn to emotional availability, not intensity • How “earned secure attachment” and therapy can break old patternsThis episode isn’t just a look at what healthy relationships sound like — it’s a roadmap for how to build one.Because your past might explain your patterns, but it doesn’t have to define your future.00:00 Introduction and Recap of Part One01:23 Understanding Attachment Styles02:25 Exploring Jill's Childhood03:16 Exploring Jack's Childhood04:58 Healthy Emotional Regulation06:44 Jill's Healthy Emotional Development21:10 Jack's Healthy Emotional Development31:28 Jack and Jill's Relationship Dynamics35:04 Healthy Communication in Relationships36:06 The Importance of Secure Attachment37:08 Navigating Stress and Boundaries40:06 Conflict Resolution and Compromise41:43 Building a Secure Relationship
The Virtual Couch
The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.
