In this Wednesday Night Dharma Talk, Roshi Joan Halifax, joined by Senseis Kodo and Dainin, reflects on how Thanksgiving is both a time of festivity and a day of mourning for Native peoples. She raises this not to “send us down,” but to remind us not to turn away from the truth of suffering. Roshi moves through stories from her life, gathering us close to the heart of practice through moments of tenderness and sobering clarity. She recalls nuns in Nepal who “transformed their suffering in such a way that they could experience pain, but…they didn’t make it suffering.” She highlights that we often recognize suffering born of pain or catastrophe, but overlook the suffering created by attachment to our own stories—our accomplishments, our realizations, the identities we cling to.
Reflecting on Bernie Glassman’s Three Tenets—not knowing, bearing witness, and compassionate action—Roshi shares how they changed her understanding of practice. Though she had spent decades working with dying AIDS patients and prisoners on death row, she realized, “I had used that knowing… as a defense against bearing witness to the suffering of others.” Roshi invites Kodo and Dainin to reflect on the Three Tenets. Kodo speaks to the fear that can arise with uncertainty—particularly in our real lives and circumstances. Addressing the paradox of acting spontaneously, he clarifies that spontaneous action is not careless or ‘whatever’ action: “there is a spiritual technology here.” Dainin adds that one of the challenges of bearing witness is the stickiness of self-attachment. When we cling to our goals, ideas, or expectations, our responses become less authentic and less attuned to the moment. Roshi closes by emphasizing that community—shared vows, seeing ourselves in one another—forms the crucible in which the Three Tenets mature from concepts into lived experience.