Apparently, the entire ecological collapse of the Galápagos Islands started because some pirates were hungry and forgot to pack food when travelling. Yes. That’s genuinely the inciting incident of this episode.

Anyway—

In this chaotic, mockumentary-style dive, we trace how a volcanic archipelago went from “accidental punishment island” to the stage where the goats begin their quiet, innocent march toward becoming a full-blown ecological menace.

We meet pirates who never should’ve had livestock privileges, a bishop who did not mince words about how much he hated the place, Charles Darwin spiraling into an existential crisis because the birds were stressing him, and the blue-footed boobies who genuinely didn’t ask to be part of all this.

This is where the saga begins, the origin story that sets up one of history’s most unnecessary wars. A war between man, nature, and goats who really should’ve just minded their business.

Welcome to the beginning of the Great Galapagoat War.