Sunglasses, boots, Gianni Infantino. Is there anything in the world that Beckham can't make look better? OK the last one might be a stretch even for him. United are a club haunted by the ghosts of nostalgia. The pale and sickly appearance of Paul Scholes. The incessant and uncanny shrieking of Gary Neville. Do we need to add the spectre of Ruud Van Nistelrooy to the job young Ruben already has on his hands? Admittedly the Dutch legend looks amazing in a coat but we ask why would you have someone, “who knows the club’’ sitting next to you while you untangle a decade long mess? There must have been a Ballon d’or ceremony at the Bernabeu this week because Real Madrid didn’t show up again. Paulo and Senzo refuse to remove the Fraud Watch on Mbappe’s name. He’s getting in everyone’s way and the only thing that can solve it is someone who rolls his studs over the ball. The ultimate skill, don’t @ us. We feel sorry for Neymar after his latest injury. Shame, poor guy is going to end up living in Miami with Messi, Suarez and Becks. But what is his legacy, would a 2014 World Cup win have put him on the Mt Rushmore of Brazilian players. Paulo doesn’t even think he gets ahead of Romario. We in no way belittle FC Noah with ill-advised puns and the gates of the GOAT Farm are back and Ayrton Senna drives his McLaren MP4/5B into the paddock.