We don’t know anyone who loves sushi more than we do. That’s because when we meet someone who loves sushi, we stop talking to them forever. Because we want to be the biggest sushi lovers we know.

To honor that love, we worked with a team of chefs to create signature sushi rolls for each of us. First, we went to Japan and found some masters of the form. Then we taught them English and made them listen to all of our shows, over and over, until they had distilled the essence of each of us into a roll.

Here they are—invite your friends over for a YLNT Sushi Night sometime soon.

The Merlin Roll: copy of Cheri magazine (June 1978), Hüsker Dü T-shirt, mayonnaise.

The Scott Roll: pantyhose, glossy photograph of Harry Anderson, mayonnaise.

The Adam Roll: nunchucks, B♭dim7 chord, mayonnaise.

Also: Sushi DMV, pupu platter, Tuna Corn Mayonnaise, kiwanis roll, the Andrew Jackson with extra hickory, two types of foreigner, $50 squid, lobster drag, dinner theater, is it vegetarian if she throws it away, Tevas, “My mussel’s name is Sandy,” ma, the jute chewers, churn for a living, Andie MacDowell and a Sofia Mini.