As part of a pilot program, The You Look Nice Today Foundation (a Delaware corporation) has recently undertaken a groundbreaking new outreach initiative to provide comfort to those in theoretical need.

So, YES: we will sell, lend, or lease you a built-to-purpose condition along with its appropriate consolation.

But, NO: we’re absolutely not Santa Claus. So, get real, you big fakers.

In any case. Get well soon, and here’s that brief bedside visit from the late Sargent Shriver you never actually requested.