Intimacy, Boundaries, and the Power of "No"

In this critical episode, Gui and I, joined by Paloma Alves, dive into intimacy, boundaries, and physical comfort in close-hold social dancing. We confront the unspoken discomfort that can arise and provide actionable advice.

Practicalities & Awareness (Leaders)

• For Leaders: We stress the importance of wearing proper, tighter underwear and the necessity to "tuck to the left" to prevent discomfort. We address the many leaders who are genuinely unaware their attire or body reactions are causing friction.

• The Reaction: We discuss how a physical reaction often happens before the mind registers attraction, making it a natural, initial signal the body must learn to manage.

Setting and Enforcing Boundaries (Followers)

Paloma offers essential guidance for those who feel unsafe or confused:

• "Silence is NOT Consent": We emphasize that a silent follower could be in a "freeze mode" and is not consenting. Leaders must never assume a lack of verbal protest is a "yes."

• The Right to Stop: You have the absolute right to end a dance immediately, for any reason, without justification. Paloma calls this an exercise to normalize saying "no."

• Checking Intentions: Any request for intimacy or outside contact must be made verbally and outside the dance floor.

The Vulnerability of the Role

We discuss how the pressure of the "teacher" role complicates boundary setting: the fear of "looking bad" must never override your physical safety. We conclude by urging everyone to remember they are human first and to manage their impulses through self-awareness.

______

→ Do you feel comfortable setting boundaries during a dance?

→ What is one way you can communicate "no" (verbally or non-verbally) without feeling guilty?

Share your thoughts and join the conversation!