Addiction Makes Three The Podcast, with Amanda Lockyer is dedicated to shining a light and understanding the lesser talked about side of addiction. The real impact it has on the partners and families of those that struggle with addiction.
Are you struggling with a partners addiction and feel at a complete loss as to what to do?
You feel like you have no one to turn to and are worried you'll be judged or your partner will be judged. It can feel like no one understands what you are going through and no one could really imagine what this is really like.
We will cover what it is truly like to be on the other side of a loved one struggling with addiction or navigating recovery. We will also dive deep on tools, ideas and strategies that will really help you whether you are at the confusing beginning the messy middle or through the other side, including practical tips and ways that you can actually get back to living again, regardless of the path your partner chooses.
I will share my own lived experiences and expertise as an Addiction Relationship Coach and Wife of someone someone that struggled with addiction and we will have experts and guests that can share their expertise and experience in this space too so that you truly know you are not alone and know that there are things you can do to help you, your family and your partner - whether you choose to stay in the relationship, leave or leave for now.
For more information and support and to find out how you can work with me for 1:1 and group coaching, check out the website or find me on Instagram.
New episodes weekly.
Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it.
Show links
If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast Join the waitlist for the next Pathway to Wellness Coaching Program: https://www.addictionmakesthree.com/waitlist
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Addiction Makes Three The Podcast, with Amanda Lockyer is dedicated to shining a light and understanding the lesser talked about side of addiction. The real impact it has on the partners and families of those that struggle with addiction.
Are you struggling with a partners addiction and feel at a complete loss as to what to do?
You feel like you have no one to turn to and are worried you'll be judged or your partner will be judged. It can feel like no one understands what you are going through and no one could really imagine what this is really like.
We will cover what it is truly like to be on the other side of a loved one struggling with addiction or navigating recovery. We will also dive deep on tools, ideas and strategies that will really help you whether you are at the confusing beginning the messy middle or through the other side, including practical tips and ways that you can actually get back to living again, regardless of the path your partner chooses.
I will share my own lived experiences and expertise as an Addiction Relationship Coach and Wife of someone someone that struggled with addiction and we will have experts and guests that can share their expertise and experience in this space too so that you truly know you are not alone and know that there are things you can do to help you, your family and your partner - whether you choose to stay in the relationship, leave or leave for now.
For more information and support and to find out how you can work with me for 1:1 and group coaching, check out the website or find me on Instagram.
New episodes weekly.
Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it.
Show links
If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast Join the waitlist for the next Pathway to Wellness Coaching Program: https://www.addictionmakesthree.com/waitlist
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Part 6 of the Holiday Series
If you’ve lived through more than one chaotic December, you’ve probably told yourself:
“Christmas will only be okay if he’s sober.”
“Maybe this year will be different… if he sticks to what he promised.”
In this bonus episode of the Holiday Series, I am sharing the part nobody really tells spouses and families of someone struggling with addiction:
Your experience of Christmas doesn’t actually depend on whether they drinks, use, shows up on time, or follow through on promises.
It depends on you having a plan, support and steadiness in yourself.
I talk about...
Why most people here quietly assume “this is just how December is now” …and how that belief keeps you stuck repeating the same painful holiday patterns, year after year.
I share stories from past clients and how they went into Christmas with a plan, even while their partner’s drinking/drug use was unpredictable. and what actually changed for them and their kids.
The hidden cost of “I’ll just handle it” and why white-knuckling your way through the holidays leaves you depleted, resentful and running on fumes by New Year’s.
How to shifting from “waiting for them to be better” to “I’m allowed to create calm, clarity and moments of joy independent of what they do.”
What realistic hope looks like when you’re the safe parent, and howow to hold both: grief for what you wish your family could be and hope that your holidays can feel different from the inside out.
If this episode feels like it’s narrating your life, you’re not broken, dramatic or asking for too much.
You’re exhausted from carrying far more than anyone can see, and you deserve support, too.
And your holiday experience can be different (even if nothing changes on their end)
🎄 JOIN THE FREE HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE WORKSHOP
This is where we turn understanding into a plan.
Inside, you’ll learn real tools to navigate this season:
💛 Grounding strategies for chaotic moments
💛 Scripts for difficult family conversations
💛 How to reduce conflict without walking on eggshells
💛 Boundaries that actually protect your peace
💛 A plan for unpredictable moments
💛 Permission (and support) to prioritise YOU
You deserve a holiday that doesn’t depend on which “version” of Them shows up.
1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.
2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community
3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.
4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Part 4 of the Holiday Series
This episode is the deep breath you didn’t know you needed.
If you’re heading into December telling yourself, “I’ll be fine… I’ve done this before… I can handle it,” this one is for you.
Because the truth is:
✨ You have handled too much.
✨ Your body is bracing, even if you’re pretending you’re okay.
✨ And you absolutely do not have to repeat another year of emotional roulette.
In this episode, Amanda gently walks you through:
The real reason your chest tightens as the holiday approaches
Why familiarity doesn’t equal healthy
How your nervous system remembers what your mind is trying to downplay
The physical cost of carrying someone else’s addiction for too long
Why “being the strong one” is quietly burning you out
What needs to shift before the chaos of the season begins
Why emotional preparation matters more than holiday plans, menus, or logistics
How to move out of survival mode and into something steadier
This is your permission slip to stop white-knuckling your way through December.
It’s the reminder you didn’t know you needed:
You are not meant to just “handle” the holidays
You are meant to be supported, grounded, and well.
And your holiday experience can be different (even if nothing changes on their end)
🎄 JOIN THE FREE HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE WORKSHOP
This is where we turn understanding into a plan.
Inside, you’ll learn real tools to navigate this season:
💛 Grounding strategies for chaotic moments
💛 Scripts for difficult family conversations
💛 How to reduce conflict without walking on eggshells
💛 Boundaries that actually protect your peace
💛 A plan for unpredictable moments
💛 Permission (and support) to prioritise YOU
You deserve a holiday that doesn’t depend on which “version” of Them shows up.
1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.
2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community
3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.
4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Part 4 of the Holiday Mini-Series
When your loved one's drinking, substance use, sobriety or recovery feels unpredictable, it can start to feel like everything is out of your hands, the mood, the energy in the house, whether plans go ahead or blow up, whether Christmas feels magical or like a minefield.
This episode is for the lovely person who feels like they are bracing 24/7, waiting for the next wobble, the next mood shift, the next disappointment… and quietly wondering:
“What’s even in my control anymore?”
In this episode, I'm walking you through the three powerful things you can control, even in the messy middle of addiction and recovery -
✨ Your preparation
✨ Your level of engagement
✨ Your meaning-making
Because while you can’t control whether they use/don't use, wobble/relapses, turns up late, or arrives in a mood…. you can control how prepared you are, how much of it you pick up, and how you talk to yourself about what’s happening.
Those three things alone can change how this season feels for you and your kids.
And if this feels painfully familiar, please don’t navigate December alone.
🎄 JOIN THE FREE HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE WORKSHOP
This is where we turn understanding into a plan.
Inside, you’ll learn real tools to navigate this season:
💛 Grounding strategies for chaotic moments
💛 Scripts for difficult family conversations
💛 How to reduce conflict without walking on eggshells
💛 Boundaries that actually protect your peace
💛 A plan for unpredictable moments
💛 Permission (and support) to prioritise YOU
You deserve a holiday that doesn’t depend on which “version” of Them shows up.
1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.
2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community
3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.
4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Part 3 of the Holiday Mini-Series
This episode dives into something most people will never understand unless they’ve lived it:
You aren’t just planning Christmas.
You’re planning Christmas around a loved ones addiction.
While the rest of the world is thinking menus, Secret Santa, outfits and photos… you’re quietly assessing risk, predicting behaviour, managing expectations, rehearsing backup plans, and carrying the emotional safety of the entire household on your shoulders.
This episode is for the spouses, families, and women in addiction-impacted relationships who are:
✨ Preparing for disappointment before it happens
✨ Making last-minute plans because nothing feels predictable
✨ Rehearsing excuses and half-truths to cover what’s really going on
✨ Managing the dread of “Will they show up? And in what state?”
✨ Navigating the heartbreak of an empty seat at the table
✨ Carrying grief while trying to create magic for your kids
✨ Exhausted from holding it together all year, and then even more in December
This isn’t “holiday stress.”
This is emotional project management at an Olympic level, all happening behind the scenes and all while pretending everything is normal.
And if this feels painfully familiar, please don’t navigate December alone.
🎄 JOIN THE FREE HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE WORKSHOP
This is where we turn understanding into a plan.
Inside, you’ll learn real tools to navigate this season:
💛 Grounding strategies for chaotic moments
💛 Scripts for difficult family conversations
💛 How to reduce conflict without walking on eggshells
💛 Boundaries that actually protect your peace
💛 A plan for unpredictable moments
💛 Permission (and support) to prioritise YOU
You deserve a holiday that doesn’t depend on which “version” of Them shows up.
1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.
2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community
3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.
4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
A special Holiday Series Episode 2 of 5
If you wake up already bracing yourself… wondering which “version” of your loved one you’ll get today, this episode will feel like someone finally naming the thing you’ve been silently living.
This is the emotional whiplash of loving someone whose drinking, drug use or behaviour shifts without warning.
And during the holidays?
It hits even harder.
In this episode, we unpack:
✨ Why the unpredictability of his behaviour trains your nervous system into survival mode
✨ How your body knows before your mind does
✨ The mental rehearsing, planning, and exit strategies you make without noticing
✨ The dread not just of his behaviour — but of your own reactions
✨ The resentment, the spirals, the shame, the anger you don’t talk about
✨ Why the real cost of addiction in a family is losing access to the best version of YOU
✨ And the shift that gives you back your power this season
This episode is equal parts validation and empowerment, grounded in lived experience, clinical understanding, and the reality you’re navigating behind the scenes.
🎄 JOIN THE FREE HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE WORKSHOP
This is where we turn understanding into a plan.
Inside, you’ll learn real tools to navigate this season:
💛 Grounding strategies for chaotic moments
💛 Scripts for difficult family conversations
💛 How to reduce conflict without walking on eggshells
💛 Boundaries that actually protect your peace
💛 A plan for unpredictable moments
💛 Permission (and support) to prioritise YOU
You deserve a holiday that doesn’t depend on which “version” of Them shows up.
1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.
2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community
3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.
4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Today’s episode kicks off a special 5-part holiday series created for spouses and families whose Christmas looks nothing like the picture-perfect scenes on social media or in the Hallmark Movies.
If your loved one’s drinking or addiction makes the season feel unpredictable…
If everyone assumes you’re fine…
If you’re holding the entire holiday together while silently bracing for chaos…
This episode is for you.
I’m sharing the emotional load no one sees, the invisible planning you do, and the heartbreaking uncertainty you carry into every December. You’re not imagining it, and you’re not alone.
🎄 Workshop: Holiday Survival Guide - How to navigate your loved ones addiction through the Holiday’s
Stay Grounded, Reduce Conflict, and Enjoy the Season — Even If Their Behaviour Is Unpredictable
If the holidays already feel heavy, unpredictable, or lonely because of your partner’s behaviour, please join me for this free live workshop.
You’ll learn practical tools, scripts, grounding strategies, and a simple plan to help you stay steady, reduce conflict, and protect your peace, no matter what they do.
1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.
2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community
3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.
4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
There’s a moment in every addiction-impacted relationship where you realise… it’s not just their drinking/drug use/gambling etc that’s changing the family, it’s changing you too.
You don’t plan for it.
You don’t see it coming.
And when it happens, the shame of it stays in your chest for years.
Today I’m sharing a story I’ve never fully talked about publicly, the moment I completely lost it, the moment my kids were scared of me, not their dad, and the moment I realised that addiction had changed me in ways that were unimaginable and I could no longer ignore.
If you’ve ever snapped, yelled, bellowed, broken something, stormed out, or reacted in ways you’re not proud of… please hear me:
you’re not a bad mother/father, a bad partner, or a bad person, you’re a human being in survival mode, and you're at your breaking point.
In this deeply personal episode, I talk about:
This isn’t an episode about blame or shame, it’s an episode about truth, compassion, and reclaiming yourself after years of walking on eggshells.
And if you’re thinking,
“I can’t keep living like this…”
or
“I don’t want my kids remembering me this way…”
This episode is for you.
And your great 2026 begins with one small step today. not in January, and not after the next crisis.
Ep 66 - They Say They're Sober... But You're Still Not Sure.
Ep 3 - Where Is My Lasagne?
Ep 47 - 11 Subtle Signs Your Partner’s Addiction Is Controlling Your Life
Ep 35 - When You're Scared to Set the Boundary... Start Here
1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.
2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community
3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.
4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Have you ever looked at yourself and thought… “I don’t even recognise who I am anymore?”
If so, this episode will feel like someone finally turned the lights on in a dark room you’ve been sitting in for years.
When you love someone whose drinking or using creates chaos, unpredictability or emotional instability, it doesn’t just change them.
It slowly, quietly, painfully changes you too.
And one day you wake up snapping at your kids, checking his phone, scanning for signs of drinking, living in fear not love… and you realise:
“This isn’t the mother, partner, or woman I wanted to be.”
This episode is for you if you’ve ever thought:
You are not broken.
You are overwhelmed.
And you don’t have to stay this version of yourself.
💬 If this episode feels like I’m reading your diary… you deserve support too.
A good 2026 starts now, not after the next crisis, not in January, and not when things magically get better.
Ep 66 - They Say They're Sober... But You're Still Not Sure.
Ep 41 - The One Question Not to Ask Someone Struggling With Addiction
Ep 47 - 11 Subtle Signs Your Partner’s Addiction Is Controlling Your Life
Ep 35 - When You're Scared to Set the Boundary... Start Here
1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.
2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community
3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.
4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
What if the change you’ve been waiting for has nothing to do with your loved one and everything to do with you?
If your partner’s addiction has taken over your life, it’s easy to slip into survival mode: waiting for the next crisis, hoping this time things will magically improve, telling yourself you’ll feel better once they finally change.
But here’s the truth: nothing changes if nothing changes. And in addiction-impacted relationships, things rarely stay the same. They usually get worse.
In Part 2 of this two-part series, Amanda walks you through what actually creates real, sustainable change for you, your loved one, and your relationship. No fluff. No false promises. Just grounded, compassionate, practical tools you can use immediately.
You’ll learn:
✨ What truly motivates change (and why shame never does)
✨ How to make the truth safe again
✨ Why boundaries create change (and control doesn’t
✨ The micro-moments that rebuild trust and momentum
And because we’re in November? A calmer, clearer, stronger 2026 starts now, not in January, not after another crisis.
If you’ve been walking on eggshells, waiting for ‘rock bottom’ to wake someone up… this episode will show you why you don’t have to wait anymore, and how you can start leading meaningful change today.
Book a friendly, no-pressure chat to talk through your next small, best step toward peace. Because a good 2026 starts now, not “one day.”
👉 Click here to find a time or send me a DM on Instagram@addictionmakesthreeto share what’s feeling hardest right now.
Ep 41 - The One Question Not to Ask Someone Struggling With Addiction
Ep 47 - 11 Subtle Signs Your Partner’s Addiction Is Controlling Your Life
Ep 35 - When You're Scared to Set the Boundary... Start Here
Ep 66 - They Say They're Sober... But You're Still Not Sure.
1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.
2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community
3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.
4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
You’ve probably heard it a thousand times, “they just need to hit rock bottom.” But what if that’s the very idea keeping you both stuck?
When someone you love is struggling with addiction, it’s easy to believe that “rock bottom” is what will finally make them change. We’ve been told it by friends, family, even therapists, that things have to get bad enough before they get better.
But here’s the truth: addiction is doing something despite the negative consequences, which means waiting for more pain doesn’t motivate change, it fuels the cycle.
In this episode, Amanda unpacks:
What addiction really is (and why it isn’t about bad choices or willpower)
Why the “rock bottom” story keeps both you and your loved one stuck
How waiting quietly teaches you to abandon yourself
What actually creates motivation for change (hint: it’s hope and safety, not shame)
How to start building the “safety scaffolding” that makes recovery possible before a crisis
If you’ve been walking on eggshells, waiting for the next disaster — this conversation is your permission slip to stop waiting and start leading change from a place of calm, clarity, and strength.
Book a friendly, no-pressure chat to talk through your next small, best step toward peace. Because a good 2026 starts now, not “one day.”
👉 Click here to find a time or send me a DM on Instagram@addictionmakesthreeto share what’s feeling hardest right now.
Ep 41 - The One Question Not to Ask Someone Struggling With Addiction
Ep 53 - Are you Gaslighting Yourself? The Quiet Habit Keeping you Stuck
Ep 6 - Painful thought #1 - Why are they choosing a substance over me?
Ep 47 - 11 Subtle Signs Your Partner’s Addiction Is Controlling Your Life
1️⃣ Book a Friendly Chat: Explore what working together could look like because you’ve been trying “this way” long enough, and it’s not helping anyone.
2️⃣ Join the Pathway to Wellness Waitlist: My signature program helps you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction — with calm, confidence, and community
3️⃣ Download the Free Crisis Conversation Guide: Learn what to say (and what not to say) when addiction takes over, with real scripts that help you stay grounded even when it’s messy.
4️⃣ Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
If your loved one says they’re sober but part of you still isn’t sure, this episode is for you.
After living through lies, gaslighting, and constant second-guessing, rebuilding trust can feel impossible. You want to believe them. You want your relationship to work. But you’re also exhausted from checking, doubting, and playing detective.
In this episode, Addiction Relationship Coach Amanda Lockyer explains what rebuilding trust really looks like after addiction, without losing yourself in the process. Y
What We Talk About
For Listeners Who Are In the “Messy Middle”
If you’re trying to stop living in detective mode, but you don’t know what to do next, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
👉 Book a friendly chat to talk through your next small, best step forward in peace - Click here to find a time
Or, if you’d prefer, send me a DM on Instagram @addictionmakesthree and we can talk through what’s feeling hardest right now.
Listen next:
Ep 35 - When You're Scared to Set the Boundary, Start Here.
Ep 53 - Are you Gaslighting Yourself? The Quiet Habbit Keeping you Stuck
Ep 65 - What no one warns you about when they go to rehab
Ep 28 - Your Unexpected Resentment in Their Recovery
💌 Need support for yourself (not just your loved one)? Book in a no-pressure chat with Amanda to share what's going on and find out what your next best smallest steps are, or join the waitlist for the next intake to the Pathway to Wellness Program.
1️⃣ You can book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like. Because you know you’ve been trying ‘this way’ for long enough and it's not helping anyone.
👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible
2️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.
3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):
4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
When your loved one says they’re sober but you still smell alcohol, feel uneasy, or can’t shake that gut feeling, you’re not crazy.
In this episode, I unpack what happens after the lies, after rehab, and after the chaos settles.
I explain why it’s so hard to feel calm, how broken trust shows up in your body, and why believing yourself is the first step toward healing, not policing your partner.
You’ll Learn
Listen next:
Ep 14 - The Power of the Pause
Ep 53 - Are you Gaslighting Yourself? The Quiet Habbit Keeping you Stuck
Ep 65 - What no one warns you about when they go to rehab
Ep 28 - Your Unexpected Resentment in Their Recovery
💌 Need support for yourself (not just your loved one)? Book in a no-pressure chat with Amanda to share what's going on and find out what your next best smallest steps are, or join the waitlist for the next intake to the Pathway to Wellness Program.
1️⃣ You can book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like. Because you know you’ve been trying ‘this way’ for long enough and it's not helping anyone.
👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible
2️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.
3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):
4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Everyone says, “They just need to go to rehab.”
And maybe they do.
But no one talks about what happens to the person left at home once they finally do.
In this honest episode, Addiction Relationship Coach Amanda Lockyer shares what really happens on the other side of rehab. The emotional whiplash, the relief mixed with resentment, and why it’s completely normal to feel angry, confused, or even jealous while your loved one gets help.
You’ll learn:
• Why relief often turns into resentment (and what it’s telling you)
• How to stop waiting for their recovery to fix everything
• What your own recovery and support can look like independent of theirs
Rehab isn’t the finish line. It’s the start of two recoveries, theirs and yours.
Ask yourself: What support do I need right now, for me?
🎧 Listen now, and explore your next steps and resources in the show notes.
Listen next:
1️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like. Because you know you’ve been trying ‘this way’ for long enough and it's not helping anyone.
👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible
2️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.
3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):
4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
When you’re the one holding everything together, the house, the kids, the finances, the emotional whiplash and fallout, it’s no wonder you’re exhausted.
Loving someone who struggles with alcohol or drugs can quickly take over your life. You keep going because stopping feels dangerous, like everything might collapse if you let go for a second.
In this episode, Amanda shares what “the pause” really means when you’re run-down and stretched thin, and why it’s necessary for everyone’s wellbeing for you to pause. You’ll learn how to notice the crappy internal thoughts that keep you stuck, how to ask for help without guilt, and why rest isn’t a luxury, it’s maintenance.
I know it’s hard here and you’re beyond tired. Take that micro moment and have a rest. It’ll help more than you could ever imagine
Listen next:
1️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like. Because you know you’ve been trying ‘this way’ for long enough and it's not helping anyone.
👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible
2️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.
3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):
4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Navigating perimenopause while living with a spouse struggling with addiction can feel like too much. Because it is, in fact, too much. In this episode, Amanda shares why these two experiences collide, how it impacts your emotions and nervous system, and what real support looks like so you can start feeling calm and in control again
If you’re navigating perimenopause while also living with a partner who’s struggling with addiction, you are not imagining how hard this feels, it’s a lot.
Your hormones are shifting. Your sleep’s all over the place. Your emotions are on high alert. And when you layer in the stress, uncertainty, and heartbreak that comes with addiction in a relationship, it can feel impossible to stay calm, steady, or even like yourself anymore.
In this episode, I’m unpacking what happens when perimenopause, stress, and addiction in a relationship collide, the perfect storm of emotional overload, fatigue, and burnout that so many women find themselves in but rarely talk about.
We’ll chat about:
Why perimenopause makes emotional regulation so much harder when addiction is involved
How your nervous system gets stuck in “fight or flight” mode
The hidden compassion we can find in those small moments of resistance (yes, even over coffee)
And what it really takes to start feeling calm, in control, and well again — no matter where your loved one is in their recovery
Your ability to find your peace, even when things around you are chaotic is going to be what helps you. And when you're better in yourself, you can support your loved one in a healthy way.
Listen next:
1️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.
👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible
2️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.
3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):
4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
What if the stories we’ve been told about addiction recovery, rock bottom, tough love, they have to want it themselves... are only half the truth?
In this episode, Amanda sits down with Conrad Tracey, founder of Addiction Coaching Australia, to unpack the outdated myths that keep people stuck, and reveal what real, sustainable recovery actually looks like.
Together they explore the messy middle of change, the space between crisis and consistency, and how both the person struggling and their loved ones can find steadier ground through boundaries, compassion, and evidence-based support.
You’ll learn:
Why waiting for rock bottom can be dangerous and what to do instead.
The difference between helping and enabling (and why it matters).
How relapse fits into recovery without meaning “back to day one.”
What real accountability looks like without shame or control.
How small, consistent actions create lasting transformation.
This episode is for you if:
You love someone navigating addiction or early recovery.
You’re a high-functioning person quietly struggling yourself.
You’re tired of outdated advice and want tools that actually work.
Connect with Conrad
1️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.
2️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.
👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible
3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):
4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
You love them and you’re exhausted.
One day there’s hope, the next there’s heartbreak.
And the question won’t stop circling your mind: Should I stay, or should I leave?
In this episode, Amanda helps you step off the exhausting mental treadmill of “what ifs” and find solid ground again.
You’ll learn:
Whether your partner is in active addiction, early recovery, or somewhere in between, this conversation will help you stop waiting for a sign, start choosing you and get you stepping closer to making decisions that feel good, even when they are hard.
Listen next:
1️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.
2️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.
👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible
3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):
4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
What if you’re grieving someone who’s still alive?
In this episode, Amanda explains living grief, the hidden heartbreak of loving someone in addiction. Learn why it feels confusing, how grief shows up in your body, and gentle ways to begin healing without losing yourself.
It’s the tension between hope and heartbreak.
Between who they were and who they are now.
You can love them and still grieve them.
You can hold hope and still hold boundaries.
Listen next:
1️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.
2️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.
👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible
3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):
4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree
5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com
You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
You’ve sniffed laundry, counted bottles, checked phones, screenshotted bank statements.
Me too.
You’re not crazy, you’re trying your best to cope the only way you know how.
In this episode, I unveil my long list of whack and unhinged behaviour and unpack why the “detective mode” makes sense and why it’s quietly breaking you, and how to step out of it with compassion.
You’ll learn:
If you’ve been living on high alert, this is your permission slip to choose peace over proof.
And truly - send me a DM on Instagram or drop me an email - let me know the one thing you are going to 'stop' doing... and let's get a plan together.
Listen next:
1️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):
2️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.
👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible
3️⃣ Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.
You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
They’ve got a good job.
They pay the bills.
They make people laugh.
So how could this be addiction, right?
That’s what we tell ourselves. Until being high-functioning for them starts feeling like being high-alert for you.
In this raw and honest episode, Amanda pulls back the curtain on one of the most misleading labels in addiction: “high-functioning.”
You’ll learn:
Why “holding it all together” can actually be a form of denial
The hidden emotional cost for partners and families
How this label gaslights you into doubting what you already know
What true wellbeing actually looks like and how to start measuring it differently
If you’ve ever thought, “It’s not that bad, they’re still working, they’re still funny, they’re still paying the bills,” this episode will help you see that “fine” isn’t the same as “healthy.”
🎧 Listen now to learn how to stop minimising, start trusting yourself, and take the first step towards real steadiness and peace.
1️⃣ Join Boundaries workshop - Boundaries That Build Connection & Protect Your Peace: Why They Matter, What Works, & How to Set Them Without Guilt. Happening on Thursday 9th October - 4pm PDT / 7pm EDT - sign up here
2️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):
3️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.
👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible
4️⃣ Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.
You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.