Vivienne has been a foster carer for eight years.  An eight month old baby called Bill was placed with her, initially for just a week, but he ended up staying for nearly two years.  In the meantime, in another part of the country, Carlos and his partner were talking about adopting.  They had a bad experience with their first agency but changed to another and were approved.  Browsing Linkmaker, they saw Bill's profile and hoped he might be the child for them.  On this podcast, Vivienne and Carlos talk about how their paths met when Carlos adopted Bill.

Emily and Jude  have completed their assessment process and have just seven days until panel.  They're hoping to be approved as early permanence carers for a baby under a year old.  Emily talks about how they decided on adoption and what they learnt as volunteers at New Family Social's Summer Camp (including mud pie recipes!). Emily talked about how she listened to other episodes of this podcast to help her decide whether she could cope with the uncertainty of early permanence.    

Fay talks about adopting her two-year-old son after three rounds of IVF, including one miscarriage.  She had heard about how much longer black children wait for adoptive families and felt that adoption would be the right way to parenthood for her.  Family life has brought Fay and her wife so much happiness and she talks about the importance of play and the need for patience!

Monty and his husband were approved for Early Permanence and had a tiny baby placed with them.  Just a couple of months later, they were asked if they'd adopt the baby's older sibling.  Monty talks about delays in their assessment process, becoming a parent twice in less than six months, and how much joy their children have brought them.   Monty recommends this book: Undertaking an adoption assessment in England

Oliver returns to the podcast to talk about how he navigated the adoption process (including some ill-informed questions) as a bisexual man.  He discusses his journey to positively identify as bisexual, and also brings us up-to-date on life with his four-year-old son.   Their previous podcast can be found here Episode 97

This episode of Adoption, Fostering and Tea was recorded live at our annual summer camp for LGBTQ adoption and fostering families, taking questions from our audience.

Robin and James were in their late 40s when they decided it was time to adopt.  They talk about how they overcame the negative messages they'd received, as children, about gay people.  They discuss their decision to adopt an older child, why they'd recommend this to others, and how they helped their son when he faced homophobic bullying.

Archie was diagnosed as autistic during the adoption assessment process.  Tor and Archie talk about what it's like to learn you're autistic and the strengths it brings the as parents.

Carlos has wanted children since he was 17.  He started researching adoption in his mid-twenties and, ten years later, he's stuck in stage one but excited about his future as a single adopter for one or two children.

Charlie and Ben had said they felt unable to take a child with complex medical needs but when their daughter was born and taken straight to intensive care, they knew they wanted to make it work.  They talk about early contact sessions and the toll they took.  They also talk about their family's delight in meeting the new baby and how much joy she's brought into their lives.

On our 100th episode, Miles and Pip talk openly about the process of adopting their daughters and Miles tells us about being best known for "poisoning" a fellow contestant, in front of seven million people, on the hit BBC TV show Traitors!   Traitors Season Two 

Peter and Tor adopted their children over a decade ago and they talk about what it's like to parent teens.  They also share what they've learnt along the way and what they wish they'd known when they started out.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLuEY6jN6gY 

Max and his husband adopted their son just over a year ago.  Max was concerned about the assessment process because he has a trans history and has anxiety.  Luckily, they had an awesome social worker who made things as easy as possible.  Max talks about the joys (and tiredness!) of parenting.

Adam and Oliver were struggling with family finding when they came to the NFS summer camp.  The people they met gave them the strength to continue and their son came home weeks later.  They talk about the highs and lows, including how they've dealt with their son initially bonding more with Oliver than with Adam.  They even tell us all about their "Jar Fairy" who magically sends messages to the people their son misses.

Brian and Kevin knew they wanted to adopt.  They imagined themselves with one new born baby, but as their assessment progressed, they realised they wanted siblings.  With a few months, they had a two-year-old and a one-year-old.  

Lee and John adopted their son three years ago when he was two.  They talk about preparing for transracial adoption; the things they got right and the mistakes they made.  They also talk about how the first six weeks were difficult but overall their journey has been joyful.   Why I'm No Longer Talking To White People About Race (Book) by Reni Eddo-Lodge Buy from Waterstones White Fragility (Book)  by Robin DiAngelo Buy from Waterstones Colin in Black and White (Netflix) Watch on Netflix (account required) The Cultural Iceberg - https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Edward-T-Halls-Cultural-Iceberg_fig2_361162662

Karl and his husband went through the adoption assessment process together but, within six months of their three children arriving and before the adoption order had been made, Karl's husband left and moved abroad.  Karl had to decide whether to continue as a lone parent or end the placement.  He talks about how he coped in the early days and how his ADHD gave him the strength and skills to carry on.

Geoff and his husband had a long journey to adoption but their young children have now been with them for three months.  Geoff talks about changing agency, a last-minute court appeal by the birth family, and what it's like in the very early days of parenting.

Today is the last day before Bradley and Stuart welcome their baby into their family.  They've already had playdates with the child but formal transitions start tomorrow and last a fortnight.  We talk about how they've prepared for parenthood (including the obligatory Ikea shopping spree!), what they think it'll be like to have a baby and how they'll handle personal questions.

Graham and John have been fostering their child, who initially came to them for a weekend, for almost decade.  They talk about how they supported their child through the uncertainty about his future and how they're delighted he's with them permanently.