Congress drops small sampling of Epstein estate photos, and that probably means there’s gonna be some tail wagging on the way to Maduro, Alex delves into the right-wing podcast drama, Adrian prays the aliens show up soon, AI titans say AI training AI could go really good or really bad, Zelensky trolls Putin as he tries to buy Ukraine from Trump, and get your money out of stocks and into hard assets quick (not financial advice).

We discuss the attacks on alleged drug boats, and read from the DoD’s “Law of War” where it specifically says military personnel “must refuse to comply with clearly illegal orders” and “orders to fire upon the shipwrecked would be clearly illegal,” we cover important topics like was the cover song better than the original, and finally devolve into drivel like the meaning of life.

We try to figure out if it’s a flag, a false flag, a false false flag, or just random noise, then we wonder who’s an agent, a double-agent, or a triple-agent in the US-Russian Ukraine negotiations, but like everything else, we ultimately figure they’re all just an Israeli bot farm, eventually we move into the much less confusing topic of what is the true nature of consciousness…oh, and something about aliens.

We take a break from reality to play our favorite nighttime driving songs, even with our endless cynicism, we’re nonplussed as the left and right keep changing sides, Alex fanboys on MTG, US Ukraine peace plan proves Putin probably possesses two-POTUS pleasure pics, new information has come to light, man, and finally, Epstein, AI, or Aliens:  What’s your favorite Black Swan? Drop us a comment below.

So you’re telling me that Trump, Clinton, and JP Morgan Chase are all going down?  Best day EVER!  But, before you get too excited, here’s an army of killer robots for you.  We learn that experiencing human empathy leads to demon attacks, the government is back in business, and nobody seems happy about it, and please tell us there really is a photo of Donny giving Bubba a Lewinsky.  

Remember credit default swaps?  Well, they’re back and they’re literally overrated again.  A.I. tuuk er juubs, consumer confidence plummets, markets flashing signs of implosion, Trump and SCOTUS say “let them eat cake,” Facebook sold all my personal my data, and all I got was a $4.01 Visa card, and why can’t airports just pay the air traffic controllers?  Oh, that’s right…it’s illegal.

Sleep-deprived Alex tells slightly-high Adrian about the fare that forced him to go to a strip club, we marvel at the metaphor of taking people on journeys down the road and through life, we question the both old gods and the new gods, and wonder if everyone is talking about the same person named Jesus, we contemplate why so many people can’t distinguish different degrees of truth, and we ultimately pontificate on why the hell people just can’t be nice to each other.

Alex exposes Uber ta-tas, MAGA keeps using that word “Christian” but we don’t think it means what they think it means, General cozies up with ChatGPT, media (even Fox News) stands up to Hegseth, Trump trades 747 for US airbase, Marines to shell No-Kings, and young Republicans can’t figure out why people call them the N-word…no, the other N-word, the first one’s OK with them.

We blow off the news and politics in the first hour to talk about gay tippers, submissive radical feminists, incel men-children, and the complicated relationships between them all, Epstein Island was a more popular tourist destination than we thought, Bondi goes full Scarlet O’Hara with a burn book, the Nobel Prize nobody wanted…well, except that one guy, and Israel might actually stop killing kids for a minute.

Trump orders generals to invade US, Hegseth wants less bears and more twunks, we wish the government was as closed as the Epstein files, MAGA is Grindr’s key demographic, Trump says “Don’t fear the raper,” as the nine years of Presidential dimentia continues, feds end discriminatory policing by arresting absolutely everyone, and when the hell did Puerto Rico become part of ‘Mericka?

Either we’re going to war with blue states or aliens, or maybe we’re about to turn on Skynet, AI slop causing psychosis and making truth impossible to find, Kirk Memorial goes WWE Raw, Trump plans to put AI in charge of bioweapons, Kash covers up Homan’s cash bribe, akidominipoon causes Autism, they tore down our favorite DC statue, and Bibi speaks to an empty UN audience.

Alex was late…then early…then says “It’s a black thing,” Russia pokes NATO, but just enough to be a nuisance, while Ukraine keeps grinding Russian meat, from “Charlie who?” to an American Martyr, Trans people become the next brown people, 1,250 people “missing” from Alligator Alcatraz and they didn’t escape, Crazy-Eye Kash try to out Karen Congress, and there’s still hope for the solar flare this year.

Charlie Kirk's assassination is an attack on all of us, but not in the way anyone thinks or even understands. Russia attacks Poland, Israel attacks Qatar, USAF attacks an alien spacecraft, US Navy attacks a Venezuelan drug boat, ICE attacks South Korea, Nepal’s Gen Z attacks their government, and Trump’s cardiovascular system attacks his face.

Big Cheeto says he’s a dictator then goes AWOL, while Babyface Vance says “I’m a big boy now,”  Big Balls has your SSN, Palantir helps remove Fed Governor, ICE agents are depressed, and we feel really terrible about that, jury nullification saves a sandwich-throwing terrorist, sidewalk chalk triggers government, and Desantis is finally doing something right…maybe.

Alex and Adrian get into a heated debate about museums, Trump says he’s “not doing well” on his quest to go to heaven, Ghislaine says Trump is quite the gentleman, Putin whips it out on the red carpet, Commies buy Intel, Florida deploys armed drones in schools, vegetables cost a fortune, “libertarian” Milei rolls out the surveillance state, then they came for John Bolton, and I did not speak out.

Trump tells Putin, “Spank me Daddy!” as he goes full KGB on DC, Smithsonian plans to expel Woke dinosaurs, Maxwell to get work release for her silence on prominent pedophiles, why Gen Alpha is YouTubing retirement advice, Israel keeps doing their genocide thing, Hunter Biden is our favorite junkie con man, Palantir is Minority Report, and do yourself a favor and visit Tridactyls.org.

Your phone is making you a D-bag, Zelensky says Molon Labe, House subpoenas Epstein files, JD’s coup meeting gets leaked and cancelled, Trump says he knows what mysterious drones were but “It’s not up” to him to tell us, Chinese making home grown US spy babies, “Big Balls” takes a whoopin’ so Trump can take DC, and bribing the president is as easy as a trophy and a coupon.

Adrian plays therapist as Alex recounts his verbal assaults on Christians and an elderly cancer patient, Trump accuses Epstein of stealing his underage massage girls, never refer to the victim as “CEO,” Air Force uses money slated for nuke upkeep to put gold toilets in Trump’s plane, everything is still going according to the Tech Bros plans, and “How many bureaucrats to I have to fire before I get the numbers I want?”

South Park has an “All the President’s Men” moment, Ghislaine gets immunity to possibly testify against everyone BUT Trump, mainstream media flips the script on Israel, Tech Bro’s pick for POTUS is about to go rogue, three LA deputies nominated for Darwin Awards, Ozzy was a mutant, and why an AI that likes owls could be humanity’s demise.

Trump’s heartfelt birthday letter to Epstein reads like illustrated pedo poetry, Alex betting on Trump making it to 2027, it turns out that the Unibomber appointed the Fed Chairman…or something, Musk’s MechaHitler approved for use for all government departments, anti-woke American is soon to be Cargo 200, and will JD Vance seize the chance to play Brutus?