Hello beautiful creatures!
Today, we start with a review of Jimmy Carr's recent book, and the quote from the book leads us to the topic of the episode.
"Give and forget, receive and remember"
In this episode, we will discuss altruism, kindness and giving back.
Why do we believe that these qualities are inherent in our nature? When we refer to our default mode, we are referring to the raw human being, stripped of all the experiences, illnesses, upbringing, mistakes and missteps that have shaped us over time.
The answer is simple: our evolution is intertwined with altruism, specifically reciprocal altruism (as proposed by Robert Trivers). Giving back creates a chain reaction of goodness, and research has shown that the more people help others, the more likely they are to receive help in the future. Furthermore, those who have been helped are more likely to pay it forward and help others in turn.
Studies have also shown that kindness and altruism play a critical role in our partner selection for reproduction and life. We are more likely to be attracted to someone who is kind to others, like a server in the restaurant or an older guy in the queue in the cinema. We want someone who is kind to our child's parents and our town's mayor. This phenomenon is also observed in the animal kingdom.
While there are certainly cruel and selfish individuals who only take and never give back, they are outliers or individuals who have forgotten or never experienced their default mode due to unfortunate life events.
Choosing to be kind and giving back leads to happiness and allows us and others to reap the benefits of these small acts. Each of us has a default mode of kindness encoded in our genes. Next time you think someone thinks wrong of you or judges you, remember that they have a default mode of kindness, as do you! So don't hurt yourself and others by projecting things; work on going back to the default mode.
As always, we love you!
Niko & Klaudia
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Mentioned in the episode:
"The Ape that Understood the Universe: How the Mind and Culture Evolve" by Steve Stewart-Williams
"Before & Laughter: A Life Changing Book" by Jimmy Carr
"Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience" by Brené Brown
The article about computer simulation where Tit for Tat wins
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mental health professionals.
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