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Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
Julius Marques
107 episodes
5 days ago
Send us a text Ever sit across from someone you’re wildly attracted to and realize you’re both waiting for the other to start? That’s the quiet chaos of dating as a queer switch—where presentation invites assumptions, desire doesn’t follow a clock, and the hottest scenes fizzle when roles aren’t clear. We open the campfire to talk about being “single” in non‑monogamy, the pressure of labels, and why curiosity—not mind‑reading—makes kink and relationships work. Julius and Shannon share real‑w...
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Relationships
Society & Culture,
Health & Fitness,
Sexuality,
Science,
Social Sciences
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Send us a text Ever sit across from someone you’re wildly attracted to and realize you’re both waiting for the other to start? That’s the quiet chaos of dating as a queer switch—where presentation invites assumptions, desire doesn’t follow a clock, and the hottest scenes fizzle when roles aren’t clear. We open the campfire to talk about being “single” in non‑monogamy, the pressure of labels, and why curiosity—not mind‑reading—makes kink and relationships work. Julius and Shannon share real‑w...
Show more...
Relationships
Society & Culture,
Health & Fitness,
Sexuality,
Science,
Social Sciences
Episodes (20/107)
Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
Why Dating As A Queer Switch Breaks When We Don’t Ask Clear Questions | S4 EP109
Send us a text Ever sit across from someone you’re wildly attracted to and realize you’re both waiting for the other to start? That’s the quiet chaos of dating as a queer switch—where presentation invites assumptions, desire doesn’t follow a clock, and the hottest scenes fizzle when roles aren’t clear. We open the campfire to talk about being “single” in non‑monogamy, the pressure of labels, and why curiosity—not mind‑reading—makes kink and relationships work. Julius and Shannon share real‑w...
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3 weeks ago
43 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
From Newbie Nerves To Kinky Belonging: How Games, Ambassadors, And Consent Culture Lower The Barrier To Entry | S4 EP108
Send us a text Ever parked outside a munch, heart racing, and turned the car around? We’ve been there, and we built a roadmap for getting past that moment—from the first hello to feeling like you truly belong. With Shannon Elliott joining in person, we trade stories and hard-won lessons on lowering barriers to entry in kink and swinger spaces using playful design, clear consent culture, and smart hosting. We start with the real obstacles: cliques, jargon, and the fear of speaking first. Then...
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1 month ago
45 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
Belonging Is A Practice, Not A Door Policy | S4 EP107
Send us a text Ever walked into a new community and felt the room go quiet? Julius takes a match to clique culture and lights a clearer path to belonging, blending real talk, humor, and a little tequila to explain why groups can feel icy and how to melt the wall without losing yourself. We explore the tension between upbringing and chosen identity, the pull of religious guilt, and the liberating power of explicit consent and negotiation in kink and queer spaces. The big idea: most people aren...
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1 month ago
26 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
From Burnout To Momentum: Libido As Life Energy | S4 EP106
Send us a text Ready to trade hesitation for momentum? Julius takes us to the edge of comfort and names the leap: escape velocity, the instant you decide to outgrow fear and become more. We reframe libido through a Jungian lens as life energy—motivation that fuels creativity, connection, and change—so you can stop waiting for inspiration and start generating it. I share how this show began: tired of yelling at the screen, I hit record, learned in public, and then stepped into teaching relati...
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1 month ago
26 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
From Anxiety To Aftercare: Navigating Scene Headspace In Kink And BDSM | S4 EP105
Send us a text We dig into headspace before, during, and after scenes—how nerves shift into focus, how communication sets the tone, and how aftercare steadies the landing. Along the way we share real talk on public vs private play, music, flow state, consent, and post‑scene drop. • defining headspace as mood, intention and attention • pre‑scene planning and capacity checks • private vs public play differences and timing • warm‑ups, calibration and toy order • consent,...
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1 month ago
18 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
Boundaries, Red Flags, And Growth with Author, Shannon Elliot | S4 EP104
Send us a text We sit at the fire with Shannon Elliott to unpack losing yourself in a relationship, finding your values again, and building boundaries that hold. From red flags to safe words to dating parents while child-free, we trade fixes for clarity and negotiation. • solo poly identity versus escalator expectations • awareness, willingness, and capacity to change • partner as collaborator not classroom • problems with “training a submissive” framing • negotiation before scenes and in pu...
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2 months ago
44 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
From Pegging To Power Dynamics: What Happens When Couples Go Public With Their Kinks | S4 EP103
Send us a text What happens when couples reveal their kinks for the first time on camera? We pull up to the fire and break down the viral Truth or Drink format—where women confess desires like pegging, food play, and medical roleplay—to show how real-world communication can be safer, kinder, and way hotter than shock value. This isn’t about judging anyone’s turn-ons; it’s about building the skills to talk openly, hear a “no” with respect, and find creative pathways to a “yes” that honors cons...
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2 months ago
32 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
I’m Here To Cuddle, Not Diagnose | S4 EP102
Send us a text We explore how to stop therapizing friends and partners, set clean boundaries, and keep consent front and center when the urge to fix takes over. We share scripts, signs of receptivity, and how to find kink-aware, non-monogamy-competent support without burning out. • consent before giving advice • listening over fixing with partners • energy management and burnout cues • why friends can’t be therapists • simple boundary scripts that land • differentiating roles across the slas...
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2 months ago
31 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
From Small Talk to Real Connection: Communication Skills for Kink, Non-Monogamy, and Everyday Life | S4 EP101
Send us a text We explore how “vocal image” transforms consent talks, small talk, and relationship check‑ins, especially in kink and non‑monogamy. We share practical tools—melody, pace, volume, pauses, gestures—and reflect on shedding labels like “shy” or “introvert” through practice. • why communication habits matter more than labels • using melody, pace, volume, pause, and gesture • upgrading small talk into real connection • practicing skills beyond two tries to build ease • aligning voic...
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2 months ago
28 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
We hit 100 episodes, and the biggest lesson is simpler than you think... | S4 EP100
Send us a text We celebrate 100 episodes with gratitude, humor, and a clear message: just show up. From podcasting to conventions, improv, and ace-spectrum allyship, we share how tiny steps built a community around honest kink talk. • why the campfire theme holds space for taboo topics • what 100 episodes taught us about persistence and progress • how podcasting led to volunteering, teaching, and new friends • improv skills that improve consent, negotiation, and connection • ace-spectrum vie...
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3 months ago
31 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
“Are we really STILL saying ethical non‑monogamy?”—Julius has thoughts | S4 EP 99
Send us a text We dig into how communication, boundaries, and honesty make non‑monogamy work, and why adding “ethical” to the label misses the point. Julius shares practical skills for active listening, handling jealousy, scheduling across partners, and repairing after mistakes. • reframing “ethical” non‑monogamy as skills and consent • core pillars of communication, boundaries, and truth • personal non‑negotiables and spoken expectations • context for hard talks and when to pause • active l...
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3 months ago
31 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
From Crown to Kilt: Adventures of a Volunteer Supervisor at SmutLovers Con 2025 | S4 EP98
Send us a text Julius shares his third year volunteering at Smut Lovers Convention 2025 while reflecting on the challenges and joys of being an introvert in social spaces. • Teaching an improv panel for writers to help them develop characters and scenes for their books • Supervising the convention registration area and demo dungeon while wearing a crown and kilt • Experiencing cognitive dissonance between personal presentation and upbringing • Observing the excitement of readers meetin...
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3 months ago
33 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
The Adult Child: When Growing Up Gets Stuck | S4 EP97
Send us a text We dive deep into the fascinating concept of Puer Aeternus or "eternal youth" – a psychological pattern where adults remain stuck in adolescent mindsets well into adulthood. This episode unpacks how this manifests in fear of commitment, inability to follow through on projects, and constant daydreaming about potential without taking action. • Puer Aeternus describes charming, creative people who struggle with adult responsibilities • Fear of making wrong choices leads to decisi...
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3 months ago
35 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
Anime, Kink, and Finding Your Community: My Weekend at Ecchi Expo Orlando 2025 | S4 EP96
Send us a text Julius shares his experience performing and teaching at Ecchi Expo Orlando 2025, an adult anime convention combining anime fandom with alternative lifestyle education in a consent-focused environment. • Explaining what "ecchi" is – the middle ground between mainstream anime and explicit hentai content • Performing adult improv comedy on the main stage at the convention • Teaching panels on anime genres and relationship anarchy • Experiencing the unique blend of anime fandom an...
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4 months ago
35 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
Monogamy is a Social Construct, Not Our Biological Destiny | S4 EP95
Send us a text Evolutionary anthropologist Dr. Anna Machin delivers groundbreaking research revealing monogamy as a social construct rather than our biological destiny, with satisfaction levels being equal between monogamous and polyamorous relationships. • Monogamy developed as a social control mechanism when civilization became more complex • Approximately 50% of supposedly monogamous households experience infidelity • Very few species in nature are truly sexually monogamous, including hum...
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4 months ago
37 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
Primal Play isn't just what I do—it's who I am | S4 EP94
Send us a text Julius Marques dives into the wild world of Primal Play - the raw, instinctual expression of dominance and submission through animalistic behaviors. He shares his personal experiences and insights on this lesser-understood aspect of kink that revolves around instinct over structure. • Primal Play involves raw, instinctual expressions different from structured BDSM scenes • Distinguished from Pet Play - not focused on specific animals but on unleashing your inner beast • Typica...
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4 months ago
23 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
Relationship Anarchy: Breaking Free from Expectations and Assumptions | Season 4 EP 93
Send us a text Relationship Anarchy is not just a buzzword but a lifestyle philosophy emphasizing intentional connections where each relationship exists independently, free from predetermined expectations or hierarchies. This episode explores why the relationship with yourself should be your primary focus and how Relationship Anarchy principles can benefit everyone, regardless of relationship structure. • Introduction to Relationship Anarchy as a serious topic with no fluff • The misconcepti...
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5 months ago
21 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
The Return (Again) of the Kinky Kampfire!! | Season 4 EP 92
Send us a text Julius Marques returns to the podcast after a hiatus, introducing his new vision as a "relationship spotter" rather than a coach or therapist. He shares his journey through imposter syndrome and his plans to teach relationship anarchy with unconventional techniques. • Taking time away from podcasting after questioning qualifications despite being invited as a guest on another show • Developing educational content on relationship anarchy for in-person workshops • Introducing th...
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5 months ago
17 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
The Social Probation Period | Pillow Fort Sessions EP 42
Send us a text Julius explores how different communities operate similarly despite their diverse interests and activities. He dives into his experiences navigating kink, board games, non-monogamy, geek culture, and improv communities, highlighting the universal patterns that emerge in each social group. • All communities have an approximately 90-day "probationary period" before truly accepting new members • People need to see you consistently show up before they open their inner circle ...
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8 months ago
39 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
Put Down Your Phone and Wash Your Ass: Dating Advice Nobody Asked For | Advice Line 2 | Pillow Fort Sessions EP 41
Send us a text Julius explores the fundamental differences in how men and women communicate and the painful lack of education we receive about these differences before entering relationships. • Communication styles differ significantly between genders based on both biology and socialization • Men are typically raised to be solution-focused while women often communicate to process emotions • Active listening without trying to "fix" problems is a learned skill many men find physically uncomfor...
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9 months ago
35 minutes

Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
Send us a text Ever sit across from someone you’re wildly attracted to and realize you’re both waiting for the other to start? That’s the quiet chaos of dating as a queer switch—where presentation invites assumptions, desire doesn’t follow a clock, and the hottest scenes fizzle when roles aren’t clear. We open the campfire to talk about being “single” in non‑monogamy, the pressure of labels, and why curiosity—not mind‑reading—makes kink and relationships work. Julius and Shannon share real‑w...