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Batta Fast
Ahmer Naqvi and Osman Samiuddin
81 episodes
2 weeks ago

"What do they know of cricket, who only cricket know?" 

Ahmer Naqvi and Osman Samiuddin look at cricket from beyond the runs and wickets to the larger sociocultural context of the sport.

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Arts
Sports,
Cricket
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All content for Batta Fast is the property of Ahmer Naqvi and Osman Samiuddin and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

"What do they know of cricket, who only cricket know?" 

Ahmer Naqvi and Osman Samiuddin look at cricket from beyond the runs and wickets to the larger sociocultural context of the sport.

Show more...
Arts
Sports,
Cricket
Episodes (20/81)
Batta Fast
The Boy Who Never Got Out - Episode 88

Aik bacha tha jo out nahi hota tha.

Link to Haroon Khalid's works: https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/7247507.Haroon_Khalid

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1 month ago
27 minutes 46 seconds

Batta Fast
How Much Winning Is Too Much? Episode 87

An extremely #RichPeopleProblems issue leads to a deeper understanding of why we watch our favourite teams.

My essay on fandom and forgetting: https://karachikhatmal.com/the-i-who-becomes-a-we-the-importance-of-forgetting-to-fandom

F1 creator on why NBA content > other sports: https://ideefixe.co/p/the-creator-paradox-why-f1-and-tennis

Game of Zones: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLoqDIJHlyN3NIPW9D37rQEceGNZEiRmMX

Essay criticising Uncut Gems 'facile cruelty': https://www.theringer.com/2025/10/31/movies/uncut-gems-review-best-movies-21st-century

Essay on why Uncut Gems is a great movie about watching sports: https://unnamedtemporarysportsblog.com/uncut-gems-is-the-first-great-movie-about-watching-sports/

Essay on why Adam Sandler's character is like our favourite sports team: https://www.sbnation.com/2019/12/24/21028750/uncut-gems-review-sports-movie-adam-sandler

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1 month ago
37 minutes 4 seconds

Batta Fast
Why Tapeball is Decolonized Cricket - Episode 86

An invention from Karachi in the 80s, Tapeball cricket took the colonial history of the sport and ripped it apart.

Biryani article featuring Malang: https://fiftytwo.in/story/rice-fat-meat-streets/


Abid Hussain's Tapeball Longform: https://www.thecricketmonthly.com/story/929545/tape-ball-tales


Tapeball image credit: Ali Akbar Naqvi, originally made for PaceisPaceYaar.

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1 month ago
47 minutes 11 seconds

Batta Fast
When Does A Rivalry End? Episode 85

"I don't know what the stats are. But this is not a rivalry anymore" - Suryakumar Yadav's claim that India-Pakistan is not a rivalry anymore made me want to explore what rivalries are, and when - if at all - do they end?

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2 months ago
30 minutes 24 seconds

Batta Fast
Noman Ali and the Aesthetics of Pakistan Cricket - Episode 84

"Pakistan is a country of SLAs pretending to be pacers" - this throwaway text from Osman on PiPY led to this podcast: a discussion on the aesthetics of Pakistani bowling, how they changed irrevocably with Imran Khan, and how the continued presence of guys like Noman in the chaos since is what makes sports so beautiful. 

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2 months ago
37 minutes 45 seconds

Batta Fast
The Ship of Theseus or why Pakistan cricket never really changes - Episode 83

In this lecture Ahmer argues that almost every time you watch a Pakistan cricket team play - men's, women's, u19, whatever - you end up seeing the same match. No matter how many times you repair and replace its parts, the ship remains the same.

Link to Jarrod's video: https://www.instagram.com/p/DPWYKyjCP_j/
Link to Danyal's article: https://www.espncricinfo.com/story/asia-cup-2025-ind-vs-pak-what-pakistan-say-what-pakistan-do-and-the-gap-between-them-1504056

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2 months ago
31 minutes 30 seconds

Batta Fast
Debating the Legacy of 90s Pakistan Cricket with Osman Samiuddin - Episode 81

00:00 Hafeez, Rashid and Legacy of 90s Cricket Players
03:57 The Impact of 90s Cricket on Modern Perceptions
10:36 Cultural Significance of 90s Cricket
14:44 Corruption and Instability
21:37 Why the 90s were an era of decline
30:04 The Lost Tournaments of the 90s
39:14 The Impact of County Cricket on Pakistani cricket
43:47 13 Captaincy changes in 3 years!
52:01 Late-Era Wasim Captaincy

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9 months ago
1 hour 39 seconds

Batta Fast
Ranking the Greatest ICC Event Performances by Pakistani players - @sportingmyths - Episode 80

Back with the  @sportingmyths crew, we debate the GOAT ICC event performances. Before anyone gets too senti, the nominations and seedings were done kafi arbitrarily, because the intention was to just discuss some great performances. 

Fakhar Zaman vs India 2017
Mohammad Amir vs India 2017
Shahid Afridi vs South Africa, 2009
Inzamam ul Haq vs New Zealand, 1992
Wasim Akram vs England, 1992
Babar Azam vs New Zealand, 2019
Rambo vs New Zealand, 1992
Misbah ul Haq vs India, 2007

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9 months ago
1 hour 7 minutes 19 seconds

Batta Fast
The Osman Retirement Episode - Episode 78

Just in time for the incredible disappointment of a winless home tournament,  Osman Samiuddin announces his totally final (unless need of nation arises) absolutely complete retirement from the show.

00:00 Introduction and Context of the Podcast
01:49 Osman's Departure 
05:18 Pakistan Cricket - can it really die?
10:27 That hockey wala trauma 
15:15 How Pakistan has stumbled into every major win
22:00 Was the Misbah era worse?
30:59 The issues in this era
35:46 Has the PCB almost always sucked?
40:10 How does Pak cricket survive the scary future?
49:52 Why ex-cricketers need self-awareness

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10 months ago
1 hour 2 minutes 31 seconds

Batta Fast
[Re-upload] WI Thrash Pakistan - The Jinx Comes True - feat. Backward Point - Episode 78

00:00 Introduction to Backward Point
01:29 Discussing the defeat
04:47 Babar Azam's Performance
07:36 Challenges in Pakistan's Batting
10:27 Issues with Domestic Cricket Conditions
12:08 Inability to Dismiss Lower Order Batsmen
21:52 AqibBall and Long-term Planning
29:36 Is the Spin Approach Fun?
31:16 How to Sustain Test Cricket
36:37 Flaws in the World Test Championship
40:41 Fan Experience in Pakistan
49:23 Press Box Dynamics 

Follow Backward Point on Youtube! 
https://www.youtube.com/@UCGHVj4AgR2FBB0slp2VOyuw

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11 months ago
1 hour 3 minutes 15 seconds

Batta Fast
Ranking (Almost) Every Pakistan Cricket Song Ever - Episode 77

00:00 Introduction to Anthems
03:00 Bol Qalandar Banger
06:00 Analysis of Ali Zafar's Anthems 
11:27 Arif Lohar and The Funniest Anthem Story
18:05 The Lahore Qalandars' Unique Sound
23:54 Desi Hip Hop's Emergence in PSL and the Naseebo Song
27:02 The Karachi Kings' Anthem HateWatch
30:04 Many Generic Songs
41:23 Exploring the Impact of PSL Anthems
45:13 How Soch adds to Islamabad United's Vibe
49:39 DJ Bravo and the Iconic Gladiators Anthem
52:36 The Nostalgia of Classic Cricket Songs
55:45 The Legacy of Tu Hai Kahan
01:03:12 The Influence of Abraar-ul-Haq's Zor Laga Ke Haiyya
01:10:18 The Legendary Bhoom Bhoom Song

Link to the excel with all the songs: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1avZji4wezP0kcElw1VdYnaYEODAeKoLxJdVHJQpqfHA/edit?usp=sharing

Link to playlist with most of these songs: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3r0c7_s7gjhHksFQ0cK_7iWLx01-Haom


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11 months ago
1 hour 14 minutes 1 second

Batta Fast
Thank you Aqib Javed - Spin is Spin Yaar - Episode 76

00:00 Pakistan's Historic Test Victory
02:46 Bowling Strategies and Player Performances
06:04 The Role of Spinners
09:03 Aqib Javed's Coaching Impact
15:09 World Test Championship and the Future of Test Cricket
38:12 Cricket's relationship with ecology
45:50 Pakistan's Home Advantage Strategy
51:27 The Terrible Calendar for Pakistan
56:24 Reflections on the World Test Championship Cycle
01:01:00 Realising we have jinxed Pakistan

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11 months ago
1 hour 1 minute 30 seconds

Batta Fast
Whitewashed Again - The Pakistan Injury Curse - Two Tier WTC - Afghanistan Boycott - Episode 75

00:00 Introduction and Context of Pakistan's Cricket Performance
01:14 Analysis of Recent Matches and Player Performances
04:49 Pakistan's Injury Curse
08:59 Evaluating Pakistan's Test Team Consistency
13:02 Is Pakistan really a fast bowling country?
26:30 Pakistan cricket's mismanagement of bowlers
24:51 Conclusion and Final Thoughts on Team Development
33:13 The Two-Tiered World Test Championship Debate
49:53 The Hypocrisy of the Afghan cricket boycott calls

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11 months ago
1 hour 2 minutes 49 seconds

Batta Fast
Heartbreak in Centurion - PAK v SA 1st Men's Test Review - Episode 74

00:00 Intro
00:29 Abbas's Travolta-like comeback
06:01 Analyzing Abbas's Bowling Performance
08:50 Abbas's changing pace 
12:08 Celebrating like Shaiby
26:00 Rabada and Naseem's spells
29:49 Rabada vs Bumrah and Cummins
35:42 Race and Class Privilege in South African Cricket
36:53 South Africa's Incredible Journey to the WTC Final
40:44 The Big Three's Dominance of ICC Events
43:02 The Media's Role in Cricket Narratives
45:22 Recognising players outside of the Big 3
54:58 Why this match was a rare tragedy in SA
01:00:34 Empathising with Shan

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12 months ago
1 hour 2 minutes 8 seconds

Batta Fast
Sweeping in South Africa - Saeed ka Suna Tha, Saim ko Dekha Hai - PAK vs SA Men's ODI review - Episode 73

00:00 Celebrating the sweep
02:53 Shaheen finds his form
09:46 On the circle of Love, Saim & Saeed 
19:49 Comparing Generations: Saeed Anwar and Saim Ayub
29:57 Sufyan, Salman and other Solid Performers
33:49 Why doesn't South Africa hurt as much as Australia?
40:00 Pakistan and the WTC Final
39:07 Pakistan's Chances Against South Africa
46:13 How to win in SA
52:03 Do Bilaterals matter?
57:48 How the Rizwan era might be different

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1 year ago
1 hour 1 minute 16 seconds

Batta Fast
Sex of Saim - Salman Ali Bevan - Pakistan vs South Africa Men's T20s & 1st ODI - Episode 72

00:00 Easy Ho Ja

03:04 Ahmer’s nightly fantasy

05:52 Saim Ayub: Dekha Na Tha

15:10 Salman Ali Agha: The Unsung Hero

21:05 Pak record in SA

30:05 Agha’s superb spin

36:53 Rizwan’s captaincy

44:56 Gillespie resignation

54:12 The fkn Champions Trophy


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1 year ago
59 minutes 17 seconds

Batta Fast
PAK v SA Test squad, Sadness of Shaheen, Champions Trophy drama - Episode 71 - Batta Fast Manjan

Pakistan's men's squad for the tour to South Africa featured the omission of Shaheen Afridi, a development that was more sad than shocking. We debate the rest of the squad, and then get into the absolute sh*tshow that has been the Champions Trophy hosting crisis.

00:00 Reflections on Pakistan's Test Squad
05:52 The Future of Shaheen Afridi's Career
09:13 Do Tests still offer the same legacy as white-ball?
14:50 Why Pakistan is a graveyard for bowlers
17:51 Sajid Khan's Exclusion and Its Implications
20:55 Hope for Mohammed Abbas's Return
31:26 More complaints about how we've ruined our pacers
39:39 The Hybrid Model Controversy 
50:28 BCCI's Actual Stance on Security Concerns
56:38 The Ineffectiveness of ICC Leadership

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1 year ago
1 hour 3 minutes 49 seconds

Batta Fast
Patreon Q&As 3 - Who was the best player in each decade, what will happen to the CT, and more! Episode 70

00:00 Introduction to the Q&A Session
01:09 Who was the best Test player in every decade from the '50s onwards?
16:30 What will happen with the PCB, ICC and the BCCI in the Champions Trophy?
34:06 Which bowlers should make the squad for the SA tour? 
37:59 What are the pop-culture implications of 1987-era Imran Khan being present today and dating Taylor Swift?
47:40 Did the recent series wins hide deeper structural problems in the men's team?
51:12 How much do individuals end up influencing bilateral cricket relations between India and Pakistan?
57:02 Players you thought would be great but weren't/Thoughts on Umar Akmal
1:00:15 Lovely anecdote about Osman and Bob Woolmer
1:04:30 Does Afridi still make the 21st century Pak Test XI as an opener?
1:05:07 Who should be in Pak men's T20 squad?

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1 year ago
1 hour 9 minutes 4 seconds

Batta Fast
22 Saal Baad Pakistan beat Australia - Episode 69 - Pak vs Oz ODI Review

00:00 CONGRATES TO PACE LOVERS

05:48 Seeing Pakistan cricket as a work of art rather than sport

08:54 Haris Rauf: Pace is Pace Yaar

11:59 The Game Changing Impact of Tape Ball Cricket

21:20 Pakistan’s pacers rediscovering their groove

22:58 Demythologising the Mighty 90s

25:10 Saim Ayub and the Saeed Anwar comparisons

37:42 Rizwan's Captaincy: A New Perspective

47:39 Political Ramifications of the Champions Trophy

01:01:27 The Future of ICC Dynamics

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1 year ago
1 hour 3 minutes 37 seconds

Batta Fast
Aqib's 11 - Episode 68 - Sajid & Noman help Aqib and Aleem Dar script epic heist

Recently paroled con artist Aqib Javed is traveling around the country gathering people for his next big scheme: to rob three Tests owned by the ever ruthless English cricket team. With the aid of a right hand man named Aleem Dar, an umpire out of retirement, a Shani, a boundary dealer, a bald offie, a smooth leftie, an explosives expert, two failing openers, and a bitter casino mogul, they make up Aqib's Eleven, out to make one very big score.

00:00 Celebrating an Unbelievable Victory
03:10 The Context of Pakistan's Test drought
06:07 The Rise of Unsung Heroes - Sajid and Noman
12:01 The Importance of Unpredictability 
14:53 How to explain Haal
20:54 The Randomness of this duo working out
24:02 Is Pakistan Cricket Embarrassed of Home Advantage?
34:14 Aleem Dar's Insights 
36:43 Why this series was basically Ocean's 11 with Aqib as Clooney and Aleem Dar as Brad Pitt
38:31 Saud Shaqeel's Remarkable Innings
40:53 Rizwan's Exceptional Keeping Skills
44:52 Traditional Test Cricket vs. Bazball, Rohitball etc
49:47 Can Pakistan make this their new formula for home tests?
01:00:38 Why home advantage matters

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1 year ago
1 hour 2 minutes 57 seconds

Batta Fast

"What do they know of cricket, who only cricket know?" 

Ahmer Naqvi and Osman Samiuddin look at cricket from beyond the runs and wickets to the larger sociocultural context of the sport.