From her early experiences as a young birth doula, through medical school, into working in oncology and hospice, this doctor has seen beauty and denial go hand-in-hand. Realizing that many of us die from diseases created by choices in how we live, she now offers a primary care practice focused on support for better, healthier longevity. What does it mean to age well? How might we get the support we need to make lifestyle changes that can affect the most common diseases? How did seeing 1,000 deaths in one year change how this doctor and mother decided to live her life? https://www.tolifelongevity.com

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Join me in conversation with a dynamic woman in her nineties who founded a writing group with friends that is now a sustaining source of inspiration and shared connection. We know that social connection is key to staying engaged as we age, and Mary reflects on what she’s learned about why it matters. As she says so beautifully, “another element of flexibility reveals itself as we age – one that enables us to leave behind ‘what used to be,’ and open ourselves fully to ‘what actually is.’” Ready to be inspired?

This week’s BLBD podcast brings something a little different: it's story time! Listen this week to hear a few of my favorite sections and ideas from this beautiful book by Lisa Smartt, Words at the Threshold: What We Say as We're Nearing Death. As a linguist, she became interested in what people said as they neared the end of life – and not only the words, but the patterns and commonalities. I’ll share what she learned and what she suggests for how you can "courageously and compassionately witness final words.”

Are you ready for some real talk about what may be missing in your healthcare experience? Dr. Bob Uslander highlights the “gaps in care” we rarely name — gaps in planning, knowledge, understanding treatment options, and navigating care needs, including hospice. How does poor coordination in our healthcare system limit communication and leave crucial choices, like VSED (Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking), poorly understood and seldom discussed? And how can we better recognize life-enhancing services and therapies that improve quality of life, even while on the path of dying? Ultimately, how do we navigate complex medical situations with clearer information and better understanding of the limitations we will likely face?

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This week, Dr. Uslander and I dive into the often-overlooked transition from hospital to home. How can that shift go more smoothly? What does it really take to understand a discharge summary? And how can families prepare for a period that is so often confusing, rushed, and chaotic? Unfortunately, the current U.S. medical system seems primarily designed to prioritize profit, increase efficiency, and reduce liability. As a result, far more responsibility lands on patients, families and caregivers. We are left to decipher medical instructions, identify gaps in care, ask for the right resources, and advocate for ourselves and our loved ones at exactly the time when we may feel least able to do so. This week’s conversation on BLBD explores ways to navigate this transition with more clarity and confidence.

Visit: https://empoweredendings.com

For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠
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Starting in her twenties—and quickly shaped by an experience of profound love and loss—Lauren Carroll has devoted her life to the funeral profession and the wider end-of-life field. In guiding people through loss and grief, she’s found that creativity can offer the action we instinctively seek. Whether you set up an altar, create a collage, connect with nature, make space to remember, dance, shout, sing, or write… we crave actions that help move and shape our grief. And when creativity is paired with community, it creates a space—both within and around us—where loss can soften, even if just a little. At one point in our conversation, I read a line from The Art of Grieving: How the Arts and Art Making Help Us Grieve and Live Our Best Lives by Sheila Collins: “To what life is this loss calling us?” (Listen in for the full, beautiful story behind that question.) www.lamort.org

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Here with the holiday of Thanksgiving in the US in 2025, join us for a chat about Rhea’s experience as a Chaplain, and the idea of finding a bit of slower “turtle time” when we need it. Rhea leads us in a guided meditation in which we can rest, welcome all of ourselves, and let it allll jussst beeee. She guides us to make friends with the breath as we gently relax and follow her voice. Whether you are a caregiver, harried cook, newly bereaved, with people or solo, celebrating or not excited about the upcoming holidays…this episode invites you into a world of stillness that is always close by.

For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠
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More from author, cancer survivor and psychospiritual specialist David Maginley! Building on our conversation from last week, David and I continue to explore the impact of Medical Assistance in Dying in Canada.

As he says, “This goes far beyond the hospital bed and goes to the heart of our culture.” I would agree – MAiD is huge topic for our time. I certainly don’t have answers, but wow did I enjoy the depth of these conversations and David’s book Early Exits: Spirituality, Mortality, and Meaning in an Age of Medical Assistance in Dying. 

For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠
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Ready for a deep dive? You can’t get much deeper than asking: What is the purpose of death? This episode is about Medical Assistance in Dying, yes, but that is only the avenue in for a next-level discussion. What are the psycho-spiritual dynamics around death? What does it mean that the ego dissolves? How does consciousness expand at the end of life?

As a Chaplain, cancer survivor, and someone who has worked in palliative care for over 25 years, David Maginley has much to say. And I am – and hopefully you will be – an eager listener.

For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠
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This episode is chock-full of important information about a topic that affects so many. What is dementia? What symptoms might it include? Why does it matter to test for dementia? What is a “dementia advance directive”? What are the needs of caregivers? How can support groups help? Jessica Empeño is the National Director of Clinical Engagement & Education for the nonprofit organization called Compassion and Choices.

If you aren’t familiar with this key organization, search them up today. Their indispensable and free downloadable workbook on this subject is called the “Dementia Values and Priorities Tool.” Books we mention include: The 36 Hour Day; Care Boss; and The Best Friends Approach to Dementia Care.

For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠.
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Do you believe in the paranormal, the mysterious, the supernatural, the extra-ordinary? Whether you are a believer or not, I think you’ll enjoy this week’s extended BLBD episode with storyteller Orion Couling. Get ready for a ghost story, a wondrous story, and ruminations about architecture, culture, and history – not to mention a spontaneous reading of a monologue from Midnight Mass about what happens when we die.

For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠

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One of Barbara Karnes’ recent publications is a booklet on food at the end of life. She believes that more education is needed in this area, as families often worry when people who are nearing the end of life from disease or frailty lose interest in food. Barbara gently educates that food is “the gas that we put in our car to make it go.” And when the car is no longer working, it no longer needs gas in the same way. What do we need instead? Love, connection, community, care. Barbara reminds us that at this stage the tasks are more spiritual: “What have I done? What do I think life is about? The spiritual component at this time is about coming to terms with the sacredness of being and the life that the individual has led." That's a lot of healing, and it's not about food.

For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠

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Ahh, denial. We all have it at times. How does denial play a role at the end of life? As BK says, “We’re a death-denying society, and we carry this denial inside on a level that I don’t know that we’re even aware of.” Combine that denial with the fact that caring for someone at the end of life is different than caring for someone who’s going to get better. Where can we find healing when the body can no longer be healed? When we’ve done the best we can, but we can’t fix the physical body, how do we have some quality time? And, why do people hold on at the end? This excellent conversation with Barbara Karnes, RN, explores denial, letting go, caregiving, finding meaning, and holding on. 

When Atul Gawande - surgeon, physician, son of a surgeon -  wrote Being Mortal in 2014, I wonder if he knew what staying power it would have. This timeless book captures many of the challenges we face in the US and other countries around aging, decline, disease, the medical system, and yes, ultimately death. Listen to this episode to hear a few compelling passages from the book about the importance of conversation and what a difference a little knowledge can make. (No, it’s not Dr Gawande reading, just me.)

Tracy Chalmers has written a guidebook we can all lean on. Rooted in five principles of care, she offers practical ways to walk alongside the dying, build a web of support as a caregiver, and navigate the inevitable storms of an end-of-life journey. The Nature of the Journey: A Trail Guide for Companioning Your Person on the End-of-Life Journey is a resource you’ll return to again and again. What can a companion do to foster connection? How do we “lean out” for help? What does it mean to bring presence to the bedside in an age of distraction? With clarity and compassion, this expert shares “applied wisdom” you can use right now. And she reminds us: “There are no do-overs.”

Talking with Jennifer and Karen brings BLBD back to basics, in the best sort of way. They share several “If Nothing Else” ideas. That is, “If I am not ready for big action steps, what little things can I do today to get myself better prepared for my inevitable end?” Death Doulas and Educators with The Heartwood Collective, these two women run courses for individuals, families and corporations called Peace of Mind Planning. If Nothing Else, listen to this episode and leave with some concrete ideas for your to-do list.

What does a deck of cards have to do with end-of-life education? Tools like The Dementia Deck, The Death Deck, and the EOL (End-of-Life) Deck offer easy-to-use, casual, and even uplifting ways to start meaningful conversations. Asking simple questions can help us understand our needs and wishes more clearly: “What does a good day look like for me?” “What brings me comfort in stressful situations?” “If I ever need round-the-clock care, I’d like to be supported by…” If you’re concerned about dementia — for yourself or someone you love — these conversation starters can open the door. Beginning the dialogue may help you feel more prepared, more connected, and a little more confident as you move forward.

In this episode, I sit down for a conversation with the producers of a documentary film called A Butterfly Has Been Released. The website sums it up beautifully: “With unfiltered honesty, authenticity, and humor, Allyson invites her family, friends and hospice coworkers into her dying experience. As time runs short, her community gathers to celebrate her life with a ‘living funeral,’ which Allyson hosts, and afterwards her natural, green burial. Throughout, Allyson confronts her own mortality and continues to create meaning and legacy, as her death approaches and beyond.” This conversation shakes up what you think might be possible, and shares the courage and creativity of a woman who found out she had only weeks to live. What would you do if you knew time was that short?

Maria Popova is a Bulgarian-born writer, curator, and critic best known as the creator of The Marginalian (formerly Brain Pickings), a long-running online publication exploring art, science, philosophy, and the human condition. What a treat to talk with her on this episode about birthdays, mortality, meaning, “un-selfing,” nature, daily practice, and the big questions that lie in the substrate of all human lives. How often do you get to think alongside a modern-day philosopher who believes that mortality drives everything we do? 

Join me on BLBD this week, for a gorgeous conversation with Diane Button. Author of several books, Diane’s latest is with Maria Shriver’s imprint, The Open Field, an imprint of Penguin Life. With this work, she turns towards the stories and wisdom of her clients and shares just what the title says: What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us about Living. We share some of the experiences in the book, talk about why these stories make a difference, and get Diane’s perspective on what thinking about mortality brings to our lives.