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Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Recovery Coaches
140 episodes
1 day ago
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean? Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over? Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand… Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are... As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift. Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory! So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like; Is there hope for our marriage? Can I fix all the damage I’ve done? Can I ever trust again? Is true intimacy even possible? We will also do deep dives into the topics of: * Isolation * Guilt and Shame * Anger * Rejection * Addiction * Trauma * Body Image * Triggers * Communication * And more… Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too. You can connect with us at: support@beyondbrokenvows.com https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/ https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/ We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
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All content for Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy is the property of Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Recovery Coaches and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean? Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over? Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand… Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are... As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift. Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory! So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like; Is there hope for our marriage? Can I fix all the damage I’ve done? Can I ever trust again? Is true intimacy even possible? We will also do deep dives into the topics of: * Isolation * Guilt and Shame * Anger * Rejection * Addiction * Trauma * Body Image * Triggers * Communication * And more… Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too. You can connect with us at: support@beyondbrokenvows.com https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/ https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/ We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
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Christianity
Religion & Spirituality,
Society & Culture,
Health & Fitness,
Mental Health,
Relationships
Episodes (20/140)
Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
139 | We Plan - God Purposes: Vision Casting with a Rearview Mirror
How is it already 2026? The start of a new year is an opportunity to look back and reflect on the experiences we've been through and what they've taught us.   But the new year isn’t just about looking back; it's also a chance to look forward and spend some time imagining what could be.   It’s easy to feel stuck in the present and think that things might never change or improve.   It's like trudging down a bumpy street, head down, wary of every crack and pothole, constantly focused on avoiding obstacles. While it’s wise to be cautious, sometimes we focus so much on the rough patches that we forget to lift our eyes and appreciate the beauty around us.   As we welcome this new year, we invite you to take a moment to look up from the challenges of your life and marriage. Let yourself imagine what kind of life you want to live and the spouse you want to become. Think about the possibilities waiting for you on the other side of grief, loss, pain, and struggle.   Today we’re taking a quick look back at our 2025 with you, and sharing some exciting things we have planned for this year.   Happy New Year!   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 34. New Beginnings for Marriages in the New Year After Sexual Betrayal Episode 86. Recovering From Porn-Fueled Infidelity: Obstacles We Encountered This Year   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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1 day ago
35 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
138 | Let Jesus Shine His Light on Your Path to Recovery from Infidelity
We hope you were able to find some special moments this Christmas even if you are walking through the pain of sexual betrayal. You may be really glad that this year is ending, but not sure next year will be any better.   We’re just dropping in for a quick message of encouragement today and give you some hope and direction for this coming year.   We are sharing an inspiring and meaningful message from Sarah Young the author of Jesus Calling. It was impactful to us, and we hope it will be for you as well.   Happy New Year!   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 34. New Beginnings for Marriages in the New Year After Sexual Betrayal Episode 86. Recovering From Porn-Fueled Infidelity: Obstacles We Encountered This Year   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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1 week ago
11 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
137 | A Christmas Message of Hope for Hurting Spouses
As a wife, you may be reeling from the news of sexual betrayal and you are in shock, grieving, and lost.   Or as a husband, your infidelity may have recently been discovered and the shame is suffocating and you feel like you are going to lose your wife and everyone who truly matters to you.   And you may be saying to yourself, “I am alone and I have no hope”.   Our mission here at Beyond Broken Vows is to tell our story of how sexual sin destroyed our marriage, but that through the power of Jesus Christ, we have been redeemed. He has healed us and has given us a brand-new marriage full of hope, peace, joy, and love. Because of what he has done for us, we can assure you that you are not alone and there absolutely is hope.   We are going to take you on a trip through scripture today and show you how great God’s love is for you. He knew what was coming into your life and he made a way for you, and all of us, on this journey from brokenness to wholeness. Because of the arrival of Christ Jesus into our world, we truly are not alone and there is hope.   Merry Christmas!   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 33. The Greatest Gift at Christmas: A 12-Stop Journey To God’s Plan for Redemption Episode 85. A Christmas Message of Hope for Couples After Infidelity   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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2 weeks ago
24 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
136 | Stuck in a Rut: 6 Traps that Hinder Recovery for an Unfaithful Husband
True healing from sexual sin and betrayal is a journey that goes beyond just stopping certain behaviors; it demands a fundamental transformation of the heart.   For husbands, the journey to rebuild trust and find healing can be challenging, filled with obstacles that can slow down progress and unintentionally cause more conflict. Often we can get in our own way without realizing it.   In this episode, we'll identify six spiritual and emotional traps—common for husbands trying to recover from sexual integrity issues and help their wives heal. We’ll confront these patterns with biblical truth and provide a clear path toward genuine repentance, accountability, and lasting freedom.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 92. Dying to Self: Transformational Moments in Recovery from Sexual Betrayal Episode 135. Stuck in the Wound: 4 Traps Wives Often Fall Into That Hinder Healing From Sexual Betrayal   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
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3 weeks ago
27 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
135 | Stuck in the Wound: 4 Traps That Hinder Hinder Healing For a Betrayed Wife
When a wife discovers her husband’s sexual betrayal, her world shatters. The path to healing is difficult enough without unknowingly creating additional roadblocks.   In this episode, we explore 4 common but counterproductive patterns that keep Christian wives stuck in their pain.   We’ll identify these self-sabotaging behaviors, uncover the biblical truths that dismantle them, and provide practical steps to help you start moving forward on your healing journey, regardless of your husband’s choices.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 61. Is Joy Possible After Sexual Betrayal? Episode 116. From Shattered Vows to Sacred Surrender: The Counterintuitive Path to Healing   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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4 weeks ago
29 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
134 | Emotionally Ready for Sex? 4 Steps to Healthy Sexuality for Husbands After Sexual Betrayal
After the discovery and disclosure of sexual betrayal in a marriage, couples who choose to stay married and embrace the healing and recovery journey, will eventually need to address their sexuality again.   This will look different for every couple, but the ultimate goal is to have a healthier sexual intimacy than before the destruction of porn-fueled infidelity came to light.   We have been working on this part of our marriage relationship for almost 7 years now and almost one year ago Emily gave me what I call the Golden Ticket. This was her declaration that she would be sexually available to me whenever I initiated it.   That scared me to death and helped me to realize that this was a huge responsibility and that I needed to approach it with care. This helped me to create the 4 steps to healthy sexuality for husbands that we are covering today.   Join us for a very candid conversation about sexuality after porn-fueled infidelity today.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES:  Episode 48. Closing the Gap - 3 Steps to Sexual Intimacy Episode 94. From “Oh, Hell No!” to "The Golden Ticket" - 4 Phases of Sexuality in Recovery from Adultery   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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1 month ago
33 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
133 | Infidelity is a Turkey - Here's 6 Reasons to Give Thanks Anyway
We understand you may be in the middle of the fall-out from sexual betrayal in your marriage. Maybe you just found out, or you have been found out. Maybe you’ve been walking this path for a while and still feel like you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.   As the holiday season approaches, this unwanted and extremely painful circumstance can destroy all the anticipation of spending special time with family and friends. This week we will celebrate Thanksgiving Day, but it can seem like there is nothing to be thankful for in this dark winter of our souls.   We want to encourage you with this, while we aren’t grateful for the betrayal itself, we can be grateful that God doesn’t waste our suffering. The pain of infidelity can become the very thing that drives us deeper into dependency on Christ.   Grab a comforting beverage and listen in for some hope in this challenging time as we give you 6 reasons to be thankful, even while on this messy journey of recovery from infidelity.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES:  Episode 28. Giving Thanks In Your Broken Marriage Through Gratitude  Episode 81. Giving Thanks In The Aftermath of Porn-Fueled Infidelity   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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1 month ago
23 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
132 | 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 10, 11, and 12)
The aftermath of sexual betrayal is a complete upheaval of a marriage’s foundation. It doesn’t just damage trust—it systematically dismantles it, leaving a wife questioning her entire reality. The world she knew is gone, replaced by a landscape of pain, confusion, and profound uncertainty.   For husbands who have broken our marriage vows, this new reality teaches us a critical truth: trust is not a default setting. It's more like a delicate structure that must be painstakingly rebuilt, day by day, through deliberate and verifiable action. By committing to clear and honest actions, we can begin to mend our own broken integrity.   More importantly, it lays down a new, solid groundwork, giving our wives something tangible to base  or even contemplate trusting us again.   We are finishing up our series today, so if you haven't listened to the previous episodes, we recommend going back to the beginning of this series with episode 127 to get the full context.   Today we’re going to unpack the last three markers that can give a recovering husband actionable steps toward trustworthiness and give his wife a clearer picture of what a trustworthy man looks like.   A trustworthy husband is a man of integrity A trustworthy husband has and works a recovery plan A trustworthy husband is a servant leader   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES:  Episode 49. Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity  Episode 130. 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 7, 8, and 9)   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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1 month ago
34 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
131 | Our Navy Days Love Story and a Salute to Veterans
Today we honor our veterans who defended our land, people, and way of life—a commitment reflecting a biblical understanding of nationhood. The military is a God-ordained institution for maintaining order (Romans 13), and honoring veterans acknowledges this divine role.   Their sacrifice secured our religious freedom, allowing us to worship and spread the Gospel. A strong national defense protects our Christian civilization, as strength preserves peace for faith to flourish. The military upholds crucial biblical virtues like courage and duty, which are essential for national survival.   We remember veterans’ moral courage under fire and their steadfast faith. We must pray for and support those suffering from wounds, both visible and invisible, fulfilling the church’s duty to minister to these modern-day centurions. They embody Christ’s ultimate teaching: “Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one’s life for his friends.”   Johnny is a veteran and he recounts some highlights from his navel service and the emotional wounds he received as he served.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 129. 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 4, 5, and 6) Episode 130. 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 7, 8, and 9)   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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1 month ago
30 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
130 | 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 7, 8, and 9)
The devastation of sexual betrayal leaves no part of a marriage untouched. It obliterates the very trust the relationship was built upon.   For the spouse who discovers the lies and hidden double life, it’s as if the floor has vanished beneath their feet. Their entire understanding of reality is fractured in an instant, leaving them disoriented and questioning everything they thought was true.   And husbands who have been unfaithful are learning a difficult lesson: trust cannot be assumed; it must be actively built. We are realizing that we must be transparent in very practical and visible ways in order to be seen as trustworthy. Our commitment to daily trustworthiness does more than just rebuild our own damaged integrity. It creates a new, stable foundation, offering our wives a genuine reason to consider the possibility of trusting again.   Today we are going to go over the next three markers for becoming a trustworthy husband:   A trustworthy husband protects all devices A trustworthy husband makes all devices accessible to his wife A trustworthy husband shares location and travel plans   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 77. 4 Practical Steps for Vigilance in Recovery from Porn-Fueled Episode 92. Dying to Self: Transformational Moments in Recovery from Sexual Betrayal   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
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2 months ago
33 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
129 | 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 4, 5, and 6)
Sexual betrayal destroys all trust in a marriage. When the lies and double life of an unfaithful husband (or wife) come to light, the betrayed spouse has no solid ground to stand on. What was real is instantly shattered and nothing is clear anymore.   It can leave an unfaithful spouse struggling for a way to regain the trust that was selfishly tossed aside. Trust is earned - not expected just by virtue of staying married.   But when trust is lost, trustworthiness displayed daily will not only help to restore personal integrity, but it can also pave the way for a betrayed spouse to consider trusting again.     Last week, we did a deep dive into the first three of twelve markers of a trustworthy husband; he is transparent, vulnerable, and rigorously honest, has no secrets from his wife, and initiates difficult conversations. There was a lot packed into that episode so if you missed it we encourage you to go back and listen to episode 128.   Today we are going to unpack the next three markers of a trustworthy husband:   A trustworthy husband listens to understand. A trustworthy husband apologizes to help his wife heal. A trustworthy husband prioritizes his wife above all other people.   Grab a pumpkin spiced something and tuck in for a revealing look into our recovery process as we discovered how a track record of trustworthiness helped ear back trust in our marriage.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology Episode 52. What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity? Episode 66. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #2 Prioritize Her   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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2 months ago
26 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
128 | 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 1, 2, and 3)
When trust has been shattered after marital infidelity is revealed through either discovery or confession, what hope does a repentant husband have for regaining his wife’s trust? Will she ever be able to trust him again?   These are common questions many couples ask as they sift through the rubble of what was once considered to be a happy, loving, and committed marriage.   Fortunately, there is an answer to this difficult question because when unfaithful husbands destroy trust in their marriage, there is a hope of restoring this broken part of the relationship by showing up daily as "trustworthy".   On last week’s episode, we introduced the 12 markers for becoming a trustworthy husband.   On today's show we will dive deeper into the first three markers of a trustworthy husband. A trustworthy husband is transparent, vulnerable, and rigorously honest. A trustworthy husband has no secrets from his wife. A trustworthy husband initiates difficult conversations.   Join us for a candid conversation about our experience with broken trust and trustworthiness displayed after infidelity was discovered in our marriage.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 92. Dying to Self: Transformational Moments in Recovery from Sexual Betrayal Episode 111. 111 | Need a Full Therapeutic Disclosure After Infidelity? (Part 1)   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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2 months ago
40 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
127 | 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Series Intro)
When infidelity shatters the reality of a perceived happy marriage and reveals a foundation crumbling under the weight of lies and deception, one of the most difficult losses is the trust that was instinctively given when exchanging vows to love, honor, and cherish one another.  This loss of trust can be more painful than betrayal itself. It can leave a wife on unsteady ground with little hope that any trust for her husband can be regained. In today’s show, we’ll discuss what the loss of trust feels like from a betrayed wife's perspective and also explore the hope an unfaithful husband has for re-gaining the precious trust that was once so lovingly shared at the beginning of their journey together.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 64. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series) Episode 65. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #1 See Her Pain   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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2 months ago
18 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
126 | Forgiving Yourself After Betraying Your Wife
Have you ever thought about how the toughest barriers holding you back might not be out there in the world, but instead created in the hidden corners of your own mind?   For the man battling sex addiction, the compulsive behavior is often just the symptom of a deeper problem: a faulty belief system built on a foundation of shame, self-loathing, and the unshakable conviction that you are, at your core, unforgivable. This is the silent war that can rage long after the acting out stops.   In this episode, we’re going to take a deeper look at the mental traps—the negative I Am statement we tell ourselves and the isolating shame—that keep you trapped in a cycle of self-punishment.   We’ll talk about how this internal battle doesn’t just sabotage your inner peace, but systematically undermines your marriage and every good thing in your life. Join us as Johnny opens up about his personal journey, sharing how he began to forgive himself and embrace the powerful truth that he is truly forgiven—by God, by Emily, and himself.   This conversation promises to be enlightening and supportive as we explore the path to healing together!   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal Episode 35. Recovery Step 6: Ready to Move on From Sexual Integrity Issues? 4 Questions to Help you Decide   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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3 months ago
32 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
125 | 4 Reasons Showing Compassion Feels Risky for Betrayed Wives
Navigating the aftermath of a husband’s sexual betrayal is a complex and deeply painful journey for a wife.   While a natural desire to support his recovery may exist, it often clashes with powerful, protective emotions born from the trauma itself.   The act of showing compassion can feel fraught with risk, not as a sign of a lack of love, but as a defense mechanism against further pain and a means of preserving her own fractured sense of safety and self-worth.   This hesitation is not a character flaw but a rational response to profound injury. The wife’s fears are typically rooted in a need to validate her own experience, guard her heart from additional harm, and ensure that her husband’s path to recovery is built on genuine accountability rather than easy forgiveness.   Understanding these fears is a crucial step in healing for both spouses. Join us as Emily tells the story of her journey from a lack of compassion to showing compassion to Johnny after his sexual betrayal in our marriage.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 72. Praising God While in the Storm of Sexual Betrayal and Porn-Fueled Infidelity Episode 114. "I Know the Plans I Have for You" After Sexual Betrayal Shatters Your Marriage   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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3 months ago
39 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
124 | From Hurt to Hope Through Rigorous Honesty
When you hear the word “honesty,” what comes to mind? Is it a simple binary—you either tell the truth or you don’t?   Or do you see it on a sliding scale, where a “little white lie” is a 2 and a deliberate, premeditated deception is a 10?   If your marriage has been shattered by porn-fueled infidelity, you know the brutal truth: the lies and deception surrounding the acting out are often more destructive to trust than the acts themselves.   In this powerful second part of our conversation, We recap the five ways we lie from last week—commission, omission, deflection, justifying, and gaslighting—and dive deep into how embracing rigorous honesty can pave the way for trust and healing.   Join us as we unpack what this kind of honesty looks like, how to attain it, and how it impacted our recovery process.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 109. Healing Through Honesty: A View Into a Marriage Transformed by Truth (with Sathiya Sam) Episode 123. The One Thing Worse Than Infidelity in Marriage   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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3 months ago
29 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
123 | The One Thing Worse Than Porn-Fueled Infidelity in Marriage
In marriages wounded by sexual betrayal, the deepest injury isn't the act itself, but the web of lies that concealed it.   It’s a staggering reality that the concept of honesty is not as straightforward as many would like to believe.   Lies can come in various forms, from outright falsehoods to subtle omissions and misleading statements, all of which can have profound effects on trust in relationships.   What is the key to complete honesty, and how can we foster openness and transparency in our relationships?We are celebrating our 38th anniversary over the next week so we are sharing with you one of our most listened to podcast episodes.   The topic is LYING.   We will discuss five different ways we lie, specifically relating to broken covenant in marriage through porn-fueled infidelity. You will hear some intimate details from our painful journey to freedom and healing as we navigated the deception uncovered in our marriage.   Our victorious story serves as a testament to the fact that breaking the cycle of dishonesty is not only possible but essential for building a solid foundation for safety and trust leading to true intimacy.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 07. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 1) Episode 08. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 2)   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
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3 months ago
33 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
122 | Can Jesus Be Found in the Traditional 12-Steps of Addiction Recovery?
What comes to mind when someone brings up 12-Step recovery?   Maybe you think of Alcoholics Anonymous?   Or perhaps group meetings?   Do you also wonder if 12-Step programs are only for those who don’t see Jesus as Savior and Lord of all?   Should followers of Christ consider participating, even if Jesus isn't the central focus?   There are certainly some common misconceptions about where the original twelve steps come from and how they are meant to be used.   Today, we’ll look at a few of the most prevalent misunderstandings surrounding this simple yet effective program for addiction recovery and discover if these twelve steps are a clear path to God.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 25.Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?  Episode 49. Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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4 months ago
38 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
121 | I Need You Where I Am: My Wife Feels "This Way" Because...(Series 3 of 3)
Today we wrap up our series, I Need You Where I AM. In the first episode of our series, we focused on a statement that many betrayed wives relate to, "My Husband Just Doesn’t 'Get It'.”   And what is the “it” he’s not getting? Not understanding the magnitude of what his actions through infidelity have done to her.    In the second episode in our series, we covered some of the ways betrayed wives are affected by their husband’s infidelity. Not the least of which is grief. But in an everyday way, it can look like experiencing new health issues, being triggered by movies, TV shows, music, and even reading the Bible.   Today we are giving husbands hope for addressing his wife’s needs in a practical way. To help Johnny see past himself to how Emily was being affected by his sexual betrayal, he created a process to handle her big emotions based on an internal statement, My wife feels this way because…   Join us for the rest of the statement plus 4 important things it does to help both spouses heal.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 119. I Need You Where I Am: Why Unfaithful Husbands Just Don’t Get It (Series 1 of 3) Episode 120. I Need You Where I Am: Infidelity's Surprising Effects for Her (Series 2 of 3)   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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4 months ago
35 minutes

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
120 | I Need You Where I Am: Infidelity's Surprising Effects for Her (Series 2 of 3)
Today in the second installment of our series, I Need You Where I Am, we turn the spotlight fully onto the wreckage inside a wife’s body and soul after sexual betrayal.   The physical, emotional, and spiritual effects of betrayal trauma are real and profound. A wife experiencing these effects may think she is going crazy. She is not. It just feels that way.   As we talked about last week, a husband who “gets it” understands the magnitude of the effects of his betrayal on his wife. This man can show compassion and empathy by looking past his own situation to see his wife’s pain.   In this episode, we will share our experience with the effects of betrayal trauma as well as hope for the future where the trauma is healed and life becomes new.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 22. How Long Will This Hurt? Experiencing The 5 Stages of Grief Through the Lens of Sexual Betrayal Episode 119. I Need You Where I Am: Why Unfaithful Husbands Just Don’t Get It (Series 1 of 3)   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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4 months ago
29 minutes 51 seconds

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean? Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over? Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand… Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are... As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift. Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory! So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like; Is there hope for our marriage? Can I fix all the damage I’ve done? Can I ever trust again? Is true intimacy even possible? We will also do deep dives into the topics of: * Isolation * Guilt and Shame * Anger * Rejection * Addiction * Trauma * Body Image * Triggers * Communication * And more… Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too. You can connect with us at: support@beyondbrokenvows.com https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/ https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/ We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!