Sometimes we’re not horny for the person — we’re horny for the moment.
In this episode, we break down ten situations where arousal, curiosity, and freedom can trick us into choices we might regret later. From being high off validation, to mixing sex and substances, to chasing fantasy instead of connection — this is our honest guide to slowing down before the vibe turns into chaos.
We talk about social arousal, bi panic, party & play, and how being truly seen can feel erotic when you’ve lived life half-hidden. We’re not here to judge desire — we’re here to understand it.
Join us as we learn to recognize when we’re acting from the moment instead of our truth, and how self-control can actually deepen our freedom.
Let us know what you think — do you want more real-talk list episodes like this one?
Connect with us at bisexualblackmen.com or on Instagram at @bisexualblackmen.
Share the show, rate it five stars, and invite a friend — that’s how our community keeps growing.
Referenced in This Episode
Diamond, Lisa M. (2008). Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire.
Journal of Sex Research (2016). Context-Dependent Arousal and Emotional Contagion.
Kleinplatz, Peggy J. (2018). Arousal and Intimacy Beyond Desire Models.
American Psychological Association (2022). The Psychology of Arousal and Identity.
Planned Parenthood (2023). Demisexuality and Emotional Attraction Explained.
What if the love that saves you isn’t romance — it’s brotherhood?
this episode dives into the quiet power of bromance and what it means for bi+ Black men who live between worlds. We talk about intimacy that isn’t performative, friendship that feels sacred, and how bi+ men can build safety, honesty, and trust both inside relationships and with their closest friends.
From challenging the myth that bisexual men can’t be loyal, to exploring how bromance energy can exist with women and femmes too, this conversation is all about learning to love without fear and connect without shame.
How do you like your episodes — quick and focused, or longer and deep-dive style? Let us know through bisexualblackmen.com or on Instagram at @bisexualblackmen.
Your feedback shapes the future of this space — and every share helps the platform grow.
Referenced in This Episode
Way, Niobe. Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection. (2011).
hooks, bell. The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love. (2004).
Harvard Study of Adult Development (2018). Close Relationships and Lifespan Well-Being.
APA (2022). Men and Emotional Intimacy.
National Library of Medicine (2022). GL vs Heterosexual Infidelity Study.
PubMed (2014). Bisexuality and Infidelity-Related Emotions Study.
In this episode of Bi+ Black Men: The Podcast, we explore what it really means for men to embrace femininity—without apology and without losing themselves.
We unpack how patriarchy created a single, standardized image of manhood that left little room for softness, creativity, or grace. Together, we talk about masculinity as a performance, femininity as energy, and why so many of us are reclaiming balance instead of living in boxes.
We also discuss the value of fem-presenting men, how colonialism erased gender fluidity in African and Indigenous cultures, and gentle ways to lean into feminine energy—through expression, movement, and self-care. This conversation celebrates everyone connected to manhood, masculinity, and male identity in any form.
Referenced in This Episode
• hooks, bell. The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love. (2004).
• Oyěwùmí, Oyeronke. The Invention of Women: Making an African Sense of Western Gender Discourses. (1997).
• Way, Niobe. Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection. (2011).
• American Psychological Association (2022). Toxic Masculinity and Emotional Expression. apa.org
• Journal of Men’s Studies (2019). Masculine Gender Role Conflict and Emotional Well-Being.
• Rose, Tricia. The Hip Hop Wars. (2008).
In this episode of Bi+ Black Men: The Podcast, we unpack one of the most common—and harmful—phrases in our culture: “No Homo.”
We explore why so many of us feel the need to say it, where it came from, and how society’s constant surveillance of masculinity—especially Black masculinity—keeps men defending their sexuality instead of living freely in it. Together, we talk about how that pressure shows up in hip-hop, barbershops, locker rooms, and even queer spaces that glorify “passing” or “trade.”
We also reflect on how language shapes safety, how fear turns affection into a performance, and how we can reclaim honesty, love, and brotherhood without disclaimers. Inspired by Clear Minds in Color’s episode “Men Seeking Male Approval,” this conversation continues the work of healing masculinity through vulnerability, truth, and community.
Check out the Clear Minds In Color episode on Men Seeking Male Approval
Referenced in this episode:
Flood, M. (2008). Men, Sex, and Homosociality: How Bonds Between Men Shape Their Sexual Lives. University of Western Sydney.
Hearn, J. (2012). Men and Masculinities: A Social, Cultural, and Historical Encyclopedia. ABC-CLIO.
American Psychological Association (2022). Toxic Masculinity and Emotional Expression. apa.org
Pew Research Center (2019). Attitudes About Homosexuality Among African Americans. pewresearch.org
SAIC Library Guides (2023). Facing Race and Pleasure: The Black Body and Fetishization. libraryguides.saic.edu
Trade (Gay Slang) – Wikipedia. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trade_(gay_slang)
In this episode, we pick up for part 2 of Men Seeking Men: A First Time Guide with a raw, judgment-free look at what it’s like to have sex with another man for the first time. We talk about the mental side of stepping into intimacy with a man, the importance of safe sex, sexual hygiene, and after care.
💡 For resources, articles, and the free private community app, tap into bisexualblackmen.com.
Referenced in This Episode
My Bi Sex with Another Man (Part 1)
In this episode, Khalil kicks off Men Seeking Men: A First Time Guide with a raw, judgment-free look at what it’s like to have sex with another man for the first time. We talk about the mental side of stepping into intimacy with a man, the importance of ongoing consent, and how to handle nerves and curiosity. Khalil breaks down the realities of oral sex, rimming, and anal basics—what it actually feels like, how to prepare, and how to take your time.
We also get real about top, bottom, and vers roles—why they’re just preferences in penetration, not personality types or proof of masculinity.
💡 For resources, articles, and the free private community app, tap into bisexualblackmen.com.
Referenced in This Episode
Bi+ Black Men: Online Dating Culture
Khalil breaks down the world of online dating for men dating men for the first time—from Grindr, Jack’d, Scruff, Tinder, Hinge, and OkCupid to apps like BiCupid, Feeld, and Sniffies. We talk about how to start conversations without assumptions, how to flirt respectfully, common profile slang (NSA, UB2, PnP, “looking for generous”), and the red flags to avoid, like discriminatory language and shady vibes.
We also cover safe practices for meeting up in person, and Khalil closes with a reminder to protect yourself, move with intention, and stay true to who you are.
Next episode: How to Have Sex (for men seeking men for the first time).
Join the free community at bisexualblackmen.com, follow @bisexualblackmen on Instagram, and don’t forget to rate, share, and comment to help the podcast grow.
Khalil breaks down the bi+ spectrum—from sexual vs. romantic attraction to bisexual, pansexual, fluid, omni, ace, aromantic, and more. We also dive into the masc/fem spectrum, showing how these energies aren’t tied to sex or gender. Clear, real, and made for our community.
Join the free community at bisexualblackmen.com, follow @bisexualblackmen on Instagram, and don’t forget to rate, share, and comment to help us grow.
Referenced in This Episode
Human Rights Campaign – Health Disparities Among Bisexual People
Trevor Project – National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health
Bisexual Resource Center – Bi+ spectrum definitions & resources
Judith Butler – Gender Trouble (masc/fem spectrum & gender theory)
Khalil steps in as the new host of Bi+ Black Men: The Podcast—sharing how he and Rob first linked up in Austin and why this platform matters so much for our community.
In this episode, we celebrate Bi Visibility Month, Week, and Day, explore the history of bi+ erasure, and unpack what it’s like to grow up and love openly as a Black bisexual man. From colonial roots of homophobia to the mental health toll of invisibility, Khalil keeps it raw, real, and rooted in truth—while honoring the resilience of bi+ Black men worldwide.
Next up: we’ll break down the full bi+ spectrum and help you understand the difference between sexual and romantic attraction.
Join the free community at bisexualblackmen.com, follow @bisexualblackmen on Instagram, and turn on notifications so you don’t miss new episodes.
Referenced in This Episode
GLAAD – BiWeek: Celebrate Bisexuality+ (history, global expansion of Bi Visibility Week)
Human Rights Campaign – Health Disparities Among Bisexual People
L.A. LGBT Center – Celebrating Bi Visibility Day: Breaking Stereotypes & Embracing Diversity
Bisexual Health Awareness Month: Mental Health in the Bisexual Community – HRC
Michael Mack opens up about the barriers of his limitations as a bisexual black man. This story explores the standardized scoring of black masculinity along with the religious conflict of being a bisexual man of God.
Michael E Mack
T. Bennet opens up about the hidden fears of living as a bisexual black man. In this story, T overcomes the shadows of his insecurities with the realization that he doesn’t owe an explanation to anyone.
Eclectic Kel shares his story on origins and bisexual experiences as a young black boy that sparked sexual and gender curiosity as he grew into his identity as a man.
Eclectic Kel
Bicurious is the term used for someone who typically has sexual relations with one gender, but is curious about sexually experiencing someone of a different sex or gender. Often, the term is used for people who identify as heterosexual and are curious about exploring a same-sex relationship or sexual experience.//////About K Smith:K Smith is a successful Restaurant owner, Creative Director, Spoken Word Artist, & Father. You can find him on Instagram @KSmithCLE and on TikTok @KSmithCL3. Check out his digital restaurant: For Your Fries Only, on any delivery app! //////About Bi+ Black Men: Bi+ Black Men is an organization that builds affirming spaces for bisexual and sexually fluid black men to exist, express themselves, and become educated on the issues within our community. For more information on Bi+ Black Men, including community resources, please visit our website at bisexualblackmen.com and on Instagram at bisexualblackmen.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Biphobia is aversion or discrimination toward bisexuality and people who are identified or perceived as being within bisexual spectrum. Biphobia refers to hatred and intolerance specifically against individuals within the bisexual community. It is often expressed in the form of denial that bisexuality is a genuine sexual orientation, or negative stereotypes about people who are bisexual (such as the beliefs that they are hypersexual or dishonest). Bierasure is the enforced misunderstanding that bisexuality does not or cannot exist. ///
About Ross:Ross Victory is an award-winning author and singer/songwriter from Southern California. Victory has dedicated his life to empowering his community while entertaining listeners and readers. Victory provides a multi-format creative experience in Urban Adult Contemporary music and literature, with a focus on creative non-fiction and thematic novellas. Topics include: adventure, family, and identity. Find more on Ross on IG/FB at rossvictorious and on his website at rossvictory.com ///About Bi+ Black Men:
Bi+ Black Men is an organization that builds affirming spaces for bisexual and sexually fluid black men to exist, express themselves, and become educated on the issues within our community. For more information on Bi+ Black Men, including community resources, please visit our website at bisexualblackmen.com and on Instagram at bisexualblackmen.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.