"Beneath the Sternum of Where the Heart Would Be" is a song right? Should we start a band?! 2009's Suck taught us that it can only get better if you date your worthless ex and become a vampire! Also, Kacey has no idea who Malcom McDowell is. (TW at 34min for our sweet Morgan listener!) Support the show THE GRAM - SUPPORT - LINKS - SUBSCRIBE Please leave a review, like, subscribe, comment below, bite a friend, drink some blood and thank you for being our immortal lover. Later Suckers...

If a thirteen year old girl wrote this anime, Kacey refuses to know where she's coming from! Welcome back to the pod ya'll. We're unpacking the rest of Season One of Vampire Knight. Things We Learned: Only one teacher at the academy?Only one human boy at the academy?Only one adult female vampire but we kill her?https://linktr.ee/bloodsuckerspod Support the show THE GRAM - SUPPORT - LINKS - SUBSCRIBE Please leave a review, like, subscribe, comment below, bite a friend, drink some blood an...

Someone smarter has written something about this somewhere, but all we know is that sexy anime with creepy tall vampire boys titillates Sarah-Marie, infuriates Kacey, and we both loved it. Things We Learned: SM wouldn't last one day in the Night Academy because of white uniforms. Kacey won't have it, people. Love is an idiot. Support the show THE GRAM - SUPPORT - LINKS - SUBSCRIBE Please leave a review, like, subscribe, comment below, bite a friend, drink some blood and th...

Was this the 80's? Was this hazing accurate? Is Australia this terrible to it's LGBTQ+ Community? We're confused! Things We Learned: SM recorded the audio from Australia, where apparently things are terrible. Which is why the pod sounds this way this week. Samuel L Jackson has a purple Lightsaber and some vams get amazing eye colorsMaking a movie, getting feedback, it's really hard! Soooooore harrrrd. Support the show THE GRAM - SUPPORT - LINKS - SUBSCRIBE Please leave a review, ...

How's your blood portall today? Lost your face? How about a broken toilet of cake during your fire drill? If none of this makes sense, WELCOME TO PERPETRATOR. Things We Learned: Forevering is the dumbest way to say immortal. Menstrual Discs are AMAZING and #flexdisc should sponsor us please and thank youAlicia Silverstone is trying to ruin vampires for us like she ruined that carpet. Support the show THE GRAM - SUPPORT - LINKS - SUBSCRIBE Please leave a review, like, subscr...

Dracula 2000 (2000) has a whole loaf of milk toast choices in it. *This message sponsored by virgin (but not really) Things We Learned: Judas is Dracula?! KC wasn't even born here ya'll!Mardi Gras death metal is a terrible choice. Support the show THE GRAM - SUPPORT - LINKS - SUBSCRIBE Please leave a review, like, subscribe, comment below, bite a friend, drink some blood and thank you for being our immortal lover. Later Suckers!

In celebration of releasing Blood Sisters over on the Little Renegade Films youtube, we're taking this week off of the pod to share with you an OLDY BUT A GOODY (as Sm's mom would say). We love you and would get addicted to your blood any day! --- This week we watched 1995's The Addiction and it was as much fun as putting on a pair of jeans after two years in a pandemic. Like, we like these jeans, but we're also mad at them for doing this to us. We learned Pu'er Tea is a dirt tea tha...

Vamps (2012) sure did try to be Clueless but it sure didn't have Jane Austen to bolster it up. No stakes for ep 73 of the pod. No garlic either. Lame. Things We Learned: KC doesn't see sub-genre apparently. She has a condition. Un-Sub-Genre-ItisWas it a good adaptation? Or just a copy-cat who copies? Tell us in the discord cause we're STILL fighting about Clueless. https://linktr.ee/bloodsuckerspod Support the show THE GRAM - SUPPORT - LINKS - SUBSCRIBE Please leave a review, like...

Fright Night (1985) has the sexiest Humperdink we've ever seen. Things We Learned: SMC and Kacey think Taylor loves Now and Laters (she does), but what they meant was Hi-chews. Hi-chews are like… the Lacroix of Starbursts.Also, Now and Laters are called this because they’re made of a soft taffy on the outside with a harder center that’s not hard candy but like… firmer taffy and it takes longer for it to dissolve. So the outside of the candy is quickly dissolved. Shout Outs:Hyde Park...

El Conde (2023) is the first vampire film we've liked IN AN ETERNITY OF TIME even though that nun was terrible at her job, we'll have a teacup of blood with Margret Thatcher any ol' night of the week. Things We Learned: Margaret Thatcher was *not* an author. She was the first female British Prime Minister and the longest-serving Prime Minister of the 20th century.KC loves black and white films now. We did it you guys!Always hide your money in old old sexy sexy bookshttps://linktr.ee/bloodsuck...

Nightbreed (1990) is not or is or isn't or but is it a vampire film? You be the judge. All we know is that he stuck those blood covered fingers aaaaaall the way down his throat. Things We Learned: The ultimate in body horror is dropping a sloppy pastry on the groundCop Rock! https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098772/"There's a vampire boyfriend out there who will say 'I love you' back." Lori holds her microphone like an idiot https://linktr.ee/bloodsuckerspod Support the show THE G...

The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023) was a tumor on a tumor on a tumor of some very decent bones from a deep cut chapter of Dracula AND SOMEONE IS FURIOUS ABOUT IT. (Hint: it's not KC) Things We Learned: Demeter was the Goddess of Harvest and Dracula is the harvester of stupid movies that could have been good.Dracula is an excellent example of an epistolary novel. A form of literature where the story is told in the form of letters, journal entries, newsletter clippings etc.The Secret Squirre...

Blacula (1972) was educational for film history and fashion for sure, but not great for the exploitation of black culture. NOTE TO LISTENERS: We bailed out of Ganja & Hess (1973) and then watched Blacula instead. We talk about both at the same time! You are patient and sweet and we thank you for your understanding in this confusing matter. Things We Learned: SM is convinced Blacula is very different than Dracula. SM is convinced Ganja and Hess is art. SM is convinced...

Vampir (2021) is a confusing time that we didn't hate, despite the abysmal blood score. Three cheers for weird serbian vampire villagers! Things We Learned: Nothing. We were confused the whole time. Support the show THE GRAM - SUPPORT - LINKS - SUBSCRIBE Please leave a review, like, subscribe, comment below, bite a friend, drink some blood and thank you for being our immortal lover. Later Suckers!

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) is about titties and the twisting of them. Truly, the masterpiece of our time. Things We Learned: KC would gladly own and operate the Titty Twister if she could have that fire show every night. SM will come to Burning Man if you get her an airstream trailer (donation link in the notes below!)So many KC & SM feets are featured on the video pod. (Become a monthly subscriber to see full ep vids!)Support the show THE GRAM - SUPPORT - LINKS - SUBSCRIBE ...

We watched what Kacey believes to be THE BEST Nicholas Cage film ever made. And if Renfield (2023) wasn't the best, she's never going to watch Leaving Las Vegas anyway so the point is moot. SIGH. Thing we Learned: You gotta spread those cement dracula flesh cubes around a bitSM has no idea how to hate a dreamy draculaSupport the show THE GRAM - SUPPORT - LINKS - SUBSCRIBE Please leave a review, like, subscribe, comment below, bite a friend, drink some blood and thank you for being our immo...

We're doing it! We're in season two baybee!!! And to kick things off, we've made a terrible mistake and watched 2003's Underworld. Thing we Learned: Selene is not a strong female characterSM has really cute bangs right nowKC has a negative beagle bias and is therefore incapable of understanding John Wick. Later Suckers, Support the show THE GRAM - SUPPORT - LINKS - SUBSCRIBE Please leave a review, like, subscribe, comment below, bite a friend, drink some blood and thank yo...

It's the season finale while we hide from the sun and film some projects! We watched Interview with the Vampire (2022) S1 Ep 5/6/7 and STILL wanted more boy butts and kisses and instead got assaults and eye contacts. BOO. But yay for season two of both Interview with the Vampire, AND Blood Suckers! Hide from the sun and we'll see you soon! We Also Learned… Daniel is Still a Fuckwad. The end. Support the show THE GRAM - SUPPORT - LINKS - SUBSCRIBE Please leave a review, like, subscr...

We watched Interview with the Vampire (2022) S1 Ep 3/4 and wanted more boy butts that we did not get. But we loved discussing all the differences in the book and this adaptation, including tiny red sunglasses and another tit! We Also Learned Tattoos are confusingEric Baloney is bad at his jobHi Kelly Hassnerdsnsnsnsns!Support the show THE GRAM - SUPPORT - LINKS - SUBSCRIBE Please leave a review, like, subscribe, comment below, bite a friend, drink some blood and thank you for being our imm...

We watched Interview with the Vampire (2022) S1 Ep 2 and learned to watch more than one episode at a time for the pod from now on. She's short and sweet and she'll show you her tit! And we love you, thanks for listening. We Also Learned We learned how thoughts work To stay close to your humanity, eat glue!What would YOU do with a drunken sailor? Support the show THE GRAM - SUPPORT - LINKS - SUBSCRIBE Please leave a review, like, subscribe, comment below, bite a friend, drink s...