Going home for the holidays can bring up more than nostalgia for many gay people. It can activate old family roles, unspoken rules, emotional triggers, and versions of yourself you thought you outgrew. In this episode, Dustin explores why returning to your hometown can feel so emotionally complex. From family systems that never updated, to subtle invalidations, to the tension between who you are now and who you had to be growing up, this conversation breaks down what is actually happening beneath the surface. You’ll hear a psychological look at why going home can trigger anxiety, people pleasing, or emotional regression, how family dynamics shape what feels safe to share, and why holidays can intensify loneliness or comparison. We also talk about navigating boundaries, coping in real time, and finding grounding when home no longer feels like the place you belong.

In this episode, host Dustin breaks down why overthinking happens, what part of the brain drives it, and how attachment patterns, trauma histories, and emotional avoidance shape the habit. You will learn why your mind replays conversations, predicts worst case scenarios, and struggles with uncertainty even when nothing is actually wrong. This conversation blends clinical research on rumination, worry, and the default mode network with practical guidance for shifting the patterns that keep you stuck. You will hear tools for breaking mental loops, strengthening self trust, and identifying the emotions beneath your spirals so you can respond with clarity instead of fear.

In the final part of this series, we explore what unhealthy relationships actually look like for LGBTQ+ people and why so many harmful patterns feel familiar instead of alarming. This episode breaks down confusion between passion and chaos, the struggle to maintain desire, and the ways inconsistency, criticism, power imbalances, and identity-related harm show up in queer dating. We also look at why passion is hard to sustain, why the nervous system mistakes anxiety for attraction, and how to recognize when a dynamic is undermining your emotional safety. This conversation offers clarity, language, and guidance for identifying unhealthy patterns so you can move toward relationships that feel stable, respectful, and supportive of your whole identity.

In Part 2 of this series on queer relationships, we explore how LGBTQ+ people can begin relating differently after years of dating in environments shaped by shame, scarcity, and minority stress. This episode focuses on practical skills for connection, including attachment awareness, emotional literacy, relational repair, communication about identity, and the role of community support.

Why does finding and keeping love feel so complicated for so many LGBTQ+ people? In this episode, we explore the emotional and cultural forces that shape queer dating, from minority stress and loneliness to shame, scarcity, and community pressures around desirability. This is not about blaming ourselves but about understanding the systems and experiences that shaped how we learned to love, protect ourselves, and connect. Part 1 sets the foundation for a deeper look at queer relationships and why love often feels harder than it should.

In this episode, host Dustin sits down with Eric Batchelder, LMSW to explore intimate partner and domestic violence within LGBTQ+ relationships. We unpack how power, shame, and cultural expectations shape the dynamics of harm and healing. The conversation examines many forms of spousal abuse, including emotional, financial, psychological, and physical, and how they can manifest in Queer relationships. We discuss the emotional and psychological complexities of queer relationships, the barriers survivors face, and what safety and recovery can look like through self-awareness and support.

In this Halloween special, Dustin explores the psychology of fear and what it reveals about us. From the thrill of horror movies to the mystery of possession, from the unease of the uncanny to the allure of cults, this episode unpacks how fear shapes our behavior, our beliefs, and our need for control. Drawing from neuroscience, psychology, and film, it examines why the things that terrify us are often the same things that fascinate us, and how fear can sometimes teach us what we value most.

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In this solo episode, host Dustin explores the psychology of emotional starvation: the pattern of confusing scarcity with care. Through the lenses of attachment theory, intermittent reinforcement, and trauma research, he unpacks how early experiences of inconsistent affection can shape what we tolerate in adulthood.

In this solo episode, host Dustin explores how our desires are shaped by early experiences, social expectations, and the need for safety. Drawing from Self Determination Theory, Object Relations and Attachment Theory, and Cass’s Queer Identity Formation model, this episode unpacks the psychology behind why our motivations can feel confusing and how to move from conditioned wanting to authentic choice.

In this episode, host Dustin sits down with UK therapist John Gillespie to explore the deep intersection between kink, sexuality, and mental health. Together they unpack how shame, desire, and identity shape our sexual experiences and what it means to find acceptance through therapy. John shares insights from both his clinical practice and personal experiences within kink communities, offering a rare and honest look at emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and liberation through understanding one’s desires.

In this episode, host Dustin Oliver sits down with therapist Tyler Mafi to explore the queer search for meaning through the lens of existentialism. They unpack how identity, dating, and authenticity are shaped by societal expectations and how questioning those norms can open the door to deeper purpose and meaning-making. The conversation highlights why existentialism matters in everyday life, how queer identity and authenticity intersect, the pressures of dating and relationships, and what therapy can offer in navigating meaning and purpose.

In this episode, host Dustin sits down with Sam Fogarty, LMHC, to explore the pressures gay men face when it comes to body image and the pursuit of the “ideal body.” Together, they unpack how rejection, fat phobia, and societal standards fuel shame and disordered eating within the LGBTQ+ community. Sam shares insights from his research on muscularity-oriented eating disorders and why intuitive eating can help create a healthier relationship with food and self-perception.

In this episode, we sit down with Dr. A. Jordan Wright, Director of the combined Counseling and Clinical Psychology PhD program at NYU and a leading voice in psychological testing and training future clinicians. Together, we explore how microaggressions, evolving diagnoses, and cultural competence shape queer mental health care today.

This episode explores how substance use shows up in the lives of gay and queer men through history, culture, and community.

In this episode of boy meets therapy, host Dustin Oliver sits down with dating coach Danny to explore the unique challenges queer men face in dating. From breaking cycles of self-sabotage to navigating monogamy vs. non-monogamy, they dive into how generational trauma and cultural history shape modern relationships.

In this solo episode, Dustin explores the vulnerability deficit that many gay men experience and how emotional suppression shows up in friendships, dating, and queer community life. Blending clinical research with real-life examples, this episode unpacks the psychological roots of emotional avoidance, the influence of masculinity and shame, and how curated social connection can mask deep disconnection.

Why is it so hard for gay men to make close friends? In this episode, host Dustin explores the friendship crisis many queer men face and offers practical, research-backed strategies to build deeper, more meaningful connections. Learn the difference between romantic and friendship attraction, how emotional safety shapes queer friendships, and why vulnerability is key to connection. Dustin also shares actionable tips for overcoming defensiveness, initiating low-pressure social rituals, and building community beyond dating and hookup culture. Whether you’re feeling lonely, craving real friendships, or simply trying to understand why queer connection can feel so complicated, this episode offers clarity, validation, and hope.

In this episode of boy meets therapy, Dr. Luke Wilson shares his firsthand experience with conversion therapy, from enrolling at Liberty University to facing the emotional and psychological toll of trying to change his identity. Dr. Wilson opens up about the deep shame, religious pressure, and inner conflict he experienced, and how he ultimately found healing and self-acceptance. This honest conversation explores the dangers of conversion practices, the intersection of faith and sexuality, and the resilience it takes to reclaim your truth. Whether you are a survivor, an ally, or seeking to understand, this episode offers insight, compassion, and hope.

In this episode of boy meets therapy, host Dustin Oliver is joined by therapist Liz Rhea for an honest and deeply moving conversation about religious trauma and queer identity. Together, they unpack how adverse religious experiences can shape self-worth, relationships, and mental health, particularly for LGBTQ+ individuals. Liz shares her clinical insights on the effects of sermons and church environments, while exploring the power of deconstruction, inner child work, and grief processing in healing. This episode offers both personal and therapeutic perspectives on what it means to navigate religious trauma and find safety, self-acceptance, and liberation in therapy. Whether you’re deconstructing your faith, supporting a loved one, or working through your own trauma, this conversation is a must-listen.