We’ve talked nostalgia. We’ve talked stress. Now we’re getting real about how to survive the season with your sanity intact. In Part 3 of our Christmas series, Kristin and Laura tackle the big one: why this season feels so exhausting, and what we can actually do about it. This one’s for anyone who's ever felt like the holiday magic depends on them… and then quietly burned out in the background. We unpack:• Why women often are Christmas• The pressure to perform joy • Masking, meltdown, and making mashed potatoes for 15• Invisible labour, weaponised incompetence, and the “good hostess” trap• How to set boundaries without guilt • Grief, loneliness, and the weirdness of festive family roles• And what a genuinely good Christmas might actually look like It’s part psychological insight, part holiday group therapy, and part festive rant...with just enough chaos to feel relatable. Bonus: sensory-friendly restaurant tantrums, spreadsheet wars, and Colorado-level decor standards.

In Part 2 of our holiday series, Kristin and Laura peel back the glitter to talk about the real stress under the tinsel...from sensory overload and grief to the gendered emotional labour that keeps the “magic” going. We unpack: Why the holidays feel more emotionally intense than joyful How old family roles resurface and trap us in the past The link between perfectionism, people-pleasing, and identity The hidden burnout of autistic masking in social settings Why "relaxing" actually feels harder than just keeping busy Drawing on lived experience, feminist psychology, and neurodivergent perspectives, this episode makes space for anyone who’s ever felt overwhelmed by a season that’s supposed to feel special. It’s not just you. And no, it doesn’t make you a Grinch. Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod

In Part 1 of our holiday series, we deck the halls...and then unpack why it never quite feels the way it used to. Kristin and Laura get reflective (and slightly existential) about the bittersweet nature of Christmas nostalgia:Why does the run-up feel more magical than the day itself? Why do we cling to rituals even when they’re imperfect? And why does trying to recreate the past sometimes leave us feeling… worse? From the psychology of memory to neurodivergent holiday burnout, we unpack: • Why nostalgia shapes our identity (and why we chase it)• How memory editing gives us that “golden” Christmas feeling• The emotional power of rituals, repetition, and stocking routines• Why Christmas films hit so hard...and sometimes disappoint• The grief of changing roles and lost traditions• Gendered labour, family expectations, and “mum is the magic”• Why childhood joy can feel both comforting and out of reach This isn’t a Hallmark episode — but it is an honest one. With stories, psychology, and just enough glitter. Bonus: Secret Santas, spy gadgets, and cream cheese + hot chocolate (trust us).

In Part 3 of our But Why is Politics so Messy? series, we close with the big one: What can we actually do? After breaking down how people get pulled into harmful political narratives, Kristin and Laura flip the lens to explore how we resist authoritarianism without losing our minds (or ourselves). Together, we unpack: • Why people don’t believe things because they’re true, they believe them because it feels safer• How authoritarianism weaponises shame, fear, and our need to belong• The psychological tools that keep us stuck (denial, fatalism, moral panic, "I'm not political")• What makes people actually change (spoiler: it’s not facts)• Why rest can be resistance — and also a strategy!• How to speak up without a 2-hour debate• How to know who’s worth your energy This is a no-nonsense, deeply reflective, very human conversation about how to keep your clarity, your capacity, and your community in the face of rising extremism. ✨ “If you have control over the narrative, you have power.” “You can’t reflect your way out of fascism.”Socials and Links: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod

In Part 2 of our Messy Politics series, Kristin and Laura are joined by political psychology creator Keegan Tatum to unpack why logic rarely drives political decision-making...and why it’s actually our emotions that vote first. We explore the myth of the rational voter and ask: Why people stay loyal to systems that hurt them How disgust, shame, and fear fuel the right What motivates the “I don’t do politics” crowd The psychology of authoritarianism and denial Why women and neurodivergent people are often seen as a threat How hierarchy and identity shape our beliefs — and our blindspots Whether political empathy is even possible (or useful) This episode is packed with personal stories, critical theory, and darkly funny tangents, from autism and socialisation to collective narcissism and the illusion of free will. “People don’t believe things because they’re true. They believe them because it feels safer to.” If you’ve ever wondered why facts don’t change minds — this one’s for you. Keegan's Socials:Insta: https://www.instagram.com/keegantatum?igsh=MTl6ZTVxbnUwN2U5Nw==Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@keegantatum?_r=1&_t=ZN-91VCw0V8XMEOur Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod

Part 1 of our new series: But Why is Politics so Messy?In a world on fire, why do so many people double down, look away…or stay stuck? In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore the psychology of political identity and why some people cling to harmful ideologies while others retreat into silence, shock, or denial.From Terror Management Theory to psychological flexibility, we unpack how identity, fear, and social safety shape what we believe, and why it’s so hard to change. This episode breaks down: The difference between denial, ambivalence, and complicity Why some people become radicalised and others stay silent The myth of neutrality (spoiler: objectivity is a political position) How systems reward disengagement and punish empathy The emotional exhaustion of being engaged, and why rest is a privilege We also introduce our new model of “political stuckness”: a framework to understand how people stay passive, reactive, or comfortable while harm accelerates.  Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, angry, burnt out, or just trying to understand how we got here, this series is for you.

Part 3 of our Halloween series: Monsters as Mirrors If monsters reflect our fears, what does it say that we keep making them? In this final episode of our Halloween trilogy, Kristin and Laura dig deep into the psychology of monstering, from ancient instincts to modern media. We explore how and why the human brain was built to see monsters...and why we still crave them. From evolutionary survival mechanisms to existential dread, we unpack: How fear comes first and logic comes later Why we invent monsters to make sense of chaos The role of projection, displacement, and group fear Monsters as scapegoats for guilt, anxiety, and social control Why we use horror to feel safe, bonded, and in control How neurodivergent brains might experience monsters differently What our favourite monsters reveal about our politics, culture & inner selves This episode blends cognitive science, social psychology, existential theory, and lived experience into a final idea: our monsters are more human than we think...and so are we.  

️ Part 2 of our Halloween series: Monsters as Mirrors ️If today’s monsters reflect modern fears…what were we afraid of 500 years ago? In this time-travelling episode, Kristin and Laura head back to the past to ask: where did our monsters come from, and what were they covering up? From witch trials to mummies, this episode unpacks: Why werewolves symbolised the “untamed man” Why vampires became sexualised aristocrats How zombies reflect fears of slavery, exploitation, and soulless labor Why Frankenstein is really about abandonment, control, and man-made monsters How the fear of women’s knowledge shaped the witch hunts Why the empire was haunted by the mummy’s curse With just enough disgust psychology, imperialist critique, and literary nerdery to keep it weird, this episode explores how each monster reveals what power wanted to hide.

This is Part 1 of our special Halloween series: Monsters as Mirrors What if our monsters say more about us than them? In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore how monsters are a social mirror...a way for powerful systems to project fear, control bodies, and avoid accountability. From witches to AI, we unpack how "the monster" is used to enforce social boundaries, uphold hierarchies, and distract from systemic rot. We dive into: Why power needs monsters The psychology of disgust, projection, and containment The “gendered monster” (hello, feminazi, hysteric, witch) The monstering of trans people in today’s culture wars Immigration panic as moral drama Why it’s not AI we should fear, but who’s controlling it Monster narratives in Harry Potter, Stranger Things, Beauty & the Beast, and more This is a funny, furious, psychologically rich dive into how systems displace blame, turn people into problems, and manufacture fear to maintain control.

In the final episode of our alt-right pipeline series, we explore what happens after the soft aesthetics and curated control stop working. Kristin and Laura dig into the messy, often shame-filled reality of trying to leave a system that promised empowerment and control, but in reality, delivers performance, exhaustion, obedience, and even harm. We unpack: Why leaving can feel like an identity collapse The shame, grief, and cognitive dissonance that keep people stuck How privilege, power, and proximity to safety work in subtle ways The psychological withdrawal of leaving a “safe” space  Why wellness aesthetics, obedience, and beauty are never neutral How to rebuild after complicity, and what real empowerment looks like This episode is about the exit phase and the fear, backlash, and even shame that comes with it. Because leaving is hard, but staying silent costs more.

In Part 2 of our series on the alt-right pipeline for women, we explore how wellness aesthetics and therapeutic language become tools of discipline, not liberation. Kristin and Laura dissect the soft side of authoritarianism - how empowerment becomes obedience, rest becomes performance, and the internet whispers: “Shh, just be palatable.” ✨ This episode unpacks: The rise of the “soft girl era” and why it feels so good How language like “divine feminine” & “high value woman” bypasses critical thought Performative healing and the pressure to be beautiful, agreeable, and obedient Why white femininity is positioned as almost powerful, and how that keeps us compliant Capitalism, shame, and the weaponisation of lifestyle content Personal reflections on burnout, skincare, and craving control in a chaotic world We also talk through the Charlie Kirk aftermath and how authoritarian systems use language to consolidate power, reframe critique as violence, and shame us into silence. It’s not just “tradwives” and Pinterest boards, it’s about who gets to feel safe in the system, and why the algorithm keeps pulling us back in.

In Part 1 of our three-part series, Kristin, Laura, and special guest Jess Britvich explore how women are being pulled into the alt-right — not with overt violence, but with pastel aesthetics, self-help promises, and weaponised femininity. Together, we explore:• How tradwife culture makes patriarchy look like wellness• Why the pipeline starts with fear, loneliness, and control• The role of aesthetics, algorithms, and “just asking questions”• What it costs to be palatable, agreeable, and silent• The link between white feminism, beauty politics & authoritarian 'vibes' This is about how systems sell us safety by asking us to shrink back into 'acceptable' roles...and how easy it is to disappear down the rabbit hole, one soft pink post at a time. Jess's Socials: https://linktr.ee/jessbritvich?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=50dcf621-7f0a-47ae-bc3f-d35b6900f570 But Why Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod 

Sometimes it's the spoon scraping the bowl. Or the tag on your shirt. Or the wind in your ears. And suddenly...it's all too much. In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack the messy, invisible world of sensory stress and how it shapes daily life for many people (often neurodivergent). From autistic shutdowns to ADHD overstimulation, they explore why modern environments are hostile to our nervous systems, and what it means to live in a world not built for your brain. They dig into:• What sensory stress really is, and why it's not “just being sensitive”• The difference between ADHD and autistic sensory experiences• Guilt, shame & why masking becomes a survival tool• Why seemingly small things can lead to big crashes• How to recognise, respect, and respond to sensory needs in yourself and others This is a call to stop pathologising sensory needs, start redesigning our environments, and finally ask: what if the world is just too loud and we weren’t meant to tolerate it?

What do silverback gorillas, burnout, and barstool bravado have in common? More than you think. In this brilliantly bizarre episode, Kristin and Laura are joined by psychologist and burnout researcher Dr. Pete Olusoga to unpack why 100 men vs 1 gorilla became a cultural obsession — and what it reveals about masculinity, performance, and emotional repression. Together, they unpack:• The “alpha male” myth and its viral appeal• Why masculinity feels performative, fragile, and exhausting• The psychology of burnout and who it’s selling out• What TikTok fitness bros and Jordan Peterson have in common• Why being “a real man” might just burn you out From the manosphere to the therapist’s couch, this is a wild ride through memes, masculinity, and what it really means to be resilient. Spoiler: You don’t need to fight a gorilla to prove your worth. Pete's Details: Insta: @dr_pete_olusoga / @eightypercentmental TikTok: @dr_pete_olusoga Web: www.eightypercentmental.com But Why Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod 

From sleep scores to step counts, even our joy is being tracked. But who is all this “self-improvement” really for? In this episode, Kristin and Laura ask what happens when being human stops being the goal and starts being a problem to fix. They unpack the rise of over-optimization, how capitalism convinced us we’re machines, and why even therapy isn’t safe from performance culture. Together, they explore:• The history of optimization — from factory floors to Fitbits• Why rest, joy, and creativity feel “unproductive”• How wellness culture became capitalism in disguise• Why therapy doesn’t work when it mimics the systems we’re trying to survive• How to reclaim unoptimized joy, boredom, and being for the sake of being This is a call to step off the treadmill, turn off the tracker, and return to what makes us human. Even if it’s messy. Especially because it’s messy. Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod

 From “not all men” to “I was just joking,” defensiveness is everywhere. But what’s really going on underneath? In this episode, Kristin and Laura unpack the psychology of defensiveness - how it protects us, how it shows up in everyday interactions, and how it connects to deeper systems of power. With stories about awkward meetings, parenting, and fragile masculinity, they explore:• Why our brains go into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn• The difference between guilt and shame (and why it matters)• How whiteness, masculinity, and identity get tangled in pushback• Why vulnerability is framed as weakness, and who benefits• What defensiveness looks like in relationships, work, and culture This is a compassionate but clear-eyed conversation about why being wrong feels so threatening — and what’s possible when we pause, get curious, and choose accountability instead. Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod 

 In this special guest episode, Kristin and Laura are joined by Oliver Niehaus to explore why so many men and boys are being pulled into the Manosphere. From red pill influencers to anti-intellectual rants and fragile masculinity, we unpack:• Why the manosphere sells grievance disguised as growth• How patriarchy harms men — and why they struggle to admit it• The role of loneliness, algorithms, and masculinity myths• The difference between accountability and shame• How fear of women’s power fuels cultural backlash With personal stories, critical insight, and plenty of systemic analysis, this episode dives deep into what happens when culture tells men they’re owed something — and robs them of connection instead.Spoiler: they’re being sold a lie. And it’s costing everyone. You can find Oliver on Youtube @oliverniehaus, Instagram @olivermniehaus, and TikTok @oliver.niehaus As always, head to our linktree for the podcast and Kristin and Laura's socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod

In this thought-provoking episode, Kristin and Laura ask why women’s joy so often gets dismissed as “basic.” From Taylor Swift fandoms to fantasy novels, they unpack the deep psychological roots of how gendered taste is constructed—and why we feel guilty for what we love. They dive into:• Why "guilty pleasures" are a feminist issue• The Enlightenment origins of the gender binary• How cultural legitimacy is shaped by patriarchy• The impact of internalized misogyny on hobbies and identity• Personal stories of navigating shame, taste, and authenticity This episode is a celebration of reclaiming joy, challenging cultural scripts, and asking: what if liking what we like was radical?

In this episode, Kristin and Laura take a psychological deep dive into Netflix’s Adolescence, a gripping series that explores how one teenage boy ends up committing an unthinkable act. But instead of focusing on who did it, the show—and this conversation—asks why. Together, we explore: • What incel culture is and how boys are drawn into it • The role of social media, masculinity myths, and loneliness • How families and schools can better support emotional growth • Why girls' safety is still treated as secondary • The emotional toll of being unheard—for everyone This episode is about more than one story. It’s about the cultural conditions we’ve created—and the conversations we still need to have. Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod

From Yorkie bars to Olympic podiums, women in sport have always faced more than just the competition. In this episode, Kristin and Laura explore how sport has been systematically shaped to exclude women — and how this exclusion is still happening today. From overt bans in the 20th century to TikTok trolls and pay gaps in 2025, we unpack: • Why women were banned from football and basketball for decades • How media growth aligned with shutting women out of sport • The myth of “no one watches women’s sport” — and why it's wrong • Why misogyny thrives in comment sections and boardrooms alike • What it means to play, coach, and exist in systems never built for you This is a call to name the backlash for what it is — and to keep showing up anyway. Because every time women step onto the field, they’re doing more than playing. They’re refusing to disappear. Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod