What if your greatest strength is actually your prison? What if the capability everyone admires, the drive that built your success, the resilience that got you through everything, is the very thing keeping you exhausted, overwhelmed, and unable to let anything be easy? Manja Horner learned early that she couldn’t be a bother. With an older sister battling cancer and parents stretched beyond capacity, four-year-old Manja absorbed a profound lesson: be strong, be capable, never add to the burden. That pattern of over-functioning became her operating system, driving her to perfectionism, straight A’s, a full-ride scholarship, and eventually a high-powered corporate career at BMO’s Institute for Learning. On the outside, Manja was killing it. Executive track. Great salary. Respect. Security. But when she was asked to pour months of her life into a project she didn’t believe in, something shifted. She walked away from the comfort, the salary, the stability, because her integrity mattered more than her safety. She sold a rental property to fund her business, had three small kids, and her husband, a police officer whose core values are security and stability, watched his wife blow up their predictable life. Fast forward to today: Manja runs a thriving learning and development company serving the skilled trades industry, she’s pioneering AI applications to capture retiring tradespeople’s wisdom, she’s writing a book, raising three kids, doing somatic therapy, acupuncture, and EMDR to heal childhood wounds. She’s accomplished, capable, and deeply successful. And her biggest challenge? Learning that ease is safe. Learning to soften without losing her edge. Learning that she doesn’t have to make everything uncomfortable just because comfort feels dangerous. In this raw, vulnerable conversation, Manja reveals: The hidden cost of learning ”don’t be a bother” as a child and how it shows up as chronic over-functioning in adulthood Why perfectionism isn’t about excellence, it’s about not being judged (and how she’s learning to iterate instead) The moment she walked away from corporate security because integrity mattered more than safety, and what that cost her marriage How being ”intimidating” is often just armor for women who never learned they’re allowed to take up space Why driven, ambitious women gravitate toward discomfort because ease actually doesn’t feel safe in their nervous system The somatic reality of high-functioning freeze and what it takes to finally soften How therapy, EMDR, and the Big Leap helped her expand her capacity for joy, ease, and contentment Why ”it is what it is” is a cop-out sentence that keeps you stuck in patterns you could actually change What it means to be the strong, capable one everyone relies on while quietly crumbling under the weight of your own standards The marriage work required when one partner’s core value is security and the other can’t stop shaking the cage Find Manja on: Instagram: @Manja_horner Boost: https://www.boostld.com/ If Manja’s story landed, it’s because you recognize yourself in it. You’re strong, capable, the one everyone turns to. You’ve built something impressive. But you’re exhausted. You can’t remember the last time something felt easy. The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you’ve built on the outside and the exhaustion you’re feeling on the inside. We’ll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in over-functioning, the childhood wounds driving your need to never be a bother, and what it’s going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside. Book your Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit If you listen on Apple Podcasts: 1. Scroll down past the episodes to Ratings & Reviews. 2. Tap Write a Review (it’s easy to miss — purple text on a black screen). 3. Sign in with your Apple ID if prompted. 4. Select your star rating, add a title and your review, then tap Send.