Congruent with Lisa Carpenter | The truth beneath success. Why it never feels like enough.
Lisa dives deep into the confusion around ”let it be easy” versus doing hard things. If you’ve been avoiding uncomfortable actions or pushing through everything with force, this episode reveals the difference between allowing and forcing, and why both approaches can keep you stuck.
Many of Lisa’s clients are excellent at doing hard things. They’re masters at pushing through, putting their heads down, and forcing things to happen. But there’s a crucial difference between forcing and pushing versus allowing. The energy behind the action matters as much as the action itself.
Lisa woke up with sore legs, knowing she had to train glutes that day. Heavy weights, high volume, very mental. She didn’t feel like it. But she’s committed to her outcome, and she knows that if she starts negotiating with herself based on how she feels, she’s already losing.
Instead of wasting energy negotiating or switching to upper body, she went straight to the gym. While warming up, she shifted her energy from ”Oh my God, this is going to be so hard and take so long” to reminding herself that she’s strong, capable, and her body can do this. She tuned into her body’s yes or no signals, which is different than just not feeling like it.
The key insight: she went in knowing it would be hard and asked ”How can I allow this to be easier?”
Whether you’re trying to transform your body, lose weight, or grow a business, it’s going to be hard. Lisa can’t tell you how many face-down moments she’s had in business, how many hard decisions she’s made, how much adversity she’s faced. Being an entrepreneur isn’t for everyone and it’s definitely not a walk in the park.
When you’re doing hard things, it’s confronting. You have to look at your limiting beliefs, the stories you’re telling yourself, your current identity and ways of being. You have to stare all of that down, and it’s really uncomfortable.
Most people aren’t willing to do uncomfortable things. So Lisa asks: is it that it’s hard, or is it that it’s uncomfortable and we don’t want to do uncomfortable things?
For many high-achievers, the hardest, most uncomfortable thing isn’t pushing through more activities. It’s learning to slow down, say no, make rest a priority, have more fun, take things off their plate, be in the discomfort of not taking care of everybody else, and actually making themselves a priority.
When Lisa was learning to rest, she had to dismantle all her stories and beliefs: rest was lazy, rest was unproductive, rest was for ”those people.” She had things to do. It was tied to her identity as an overachiever who wore ”busy” as a badge of honor. She could do all the things and take care of everybody else while doing them. No wonder she burned out.
To heal, she had to learn that slowing down was the hard thing for an over-doer. Most people would say slowing down isn’t hard, but when you’re wired to constantly achieve, slowing down is the most uncomfortable thing you can do.
Lisa had to learn how to make rest feel easier. Resting felt torturous, so she shifted her energy by reminding herself what rest would bring: healing, strength, the ability to do more ultimately. Rest wasn’t going to take away from anything. She had to learn to honor and value rest, and that’s how she allowed the hard thing to be easier.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable. The more you can get comfortable with being uncomfortable, that’s when the magic happens. In that discomfort, you can adjust your energy so that even when it’s uncomfortable, you still find a way to win and honor your energy.
The question becomes: what feels hard that you’ve been avoiding? And what things are you doing that you’re telling yourself are hard that, if you shifted your energy around them, you could allow to be easier?
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