FINAL DAYS TO SAVE! SAVE 20% (or more) on full-length courses + SAVE $18 on your first year of Room for Two with code JOLLY! _________ Development isn't a gentle process. Development often happens when our worldview shatters. And that shattering hurts, but it's what helps us develop a truer map of reality. In this conversation with Taylor Church of the Of Stone and Clay Podcast, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife walks through her own marriage journey to illustrate what relational growth looks like. She shares how marriage revealed parts of herself she didn't want to see and how learning to stay in honest conflict has helped her relationship grow over the years. She also discusses how couples unknowingly co-create the dynamics they resent, and what it means to actually love and value your partner for who they are. 

Room for Two is on sale for Christmas! Use code JOLLY to SAVE $18 on your first year subscribing! In this preview episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife works with Brad and Kate, a couple who feels a chill in their relationship that they can't seem to shake. Sound familiar? Subscribe today to unlock this FULL episode (plus the entire Brad and Kate series and hundreds of other episodes that are just as relevant and helpful!).

CHRISTMAS SALE! All full-length courses 20% Off! Falling in love is a gift. Staying in love requires something more—the willingness to grow into someone who can hold both connection and individuality without losing either. In this conversation with Taylor Church of the Of Stone and Clay Podcast, Dr. Jennifer draws from her new book and research on sexuality to explore how we move from the magic of falling in love to the deeper work of creating lasting intimacy. She offers wisdom on navigating difference, sustaining desire, and why the challenges of marriage are not necessarily failures but invitations to grow. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: Sexual integration and what it means for intimate relationships How shame shapes our experience of sexuality Why vibrant living matters more than physical perfection for attraction The difference between accommodation and genuine choice in intimacy ______ Only a few days left to order That We Might Have Joy in time for Christmas! SAVE $200 on 2026 events with code JFF2026

We've received many requests over the years to offer Dr. Finlayson-Fife's resources in other languages. Miriam Parkin has generously offered her time and talent to translate episodes for us and we will add them to the feed as they come in (in addition to our regular podcast production schedule). Our Christmas Sale is Live! Save 20% on all Full-Length courses (plus get an additional discount when you purchase two or more!) __________ En este episodio del podcast, la Dra. Finlayson-Fife conversa con Dan Purcell del podcast Get Your Marriage On.Hablan sobre... - Las 3 etapas del desarrollo sexual y cómo llevar su matrimonio al siguiente nivel- La importancia de cultivar la energía erótica en la relación- Cómo pasar de tener relaciones sexuales a una conexión profunda a través del acto de hacer el amor

The word libido can make it seem like desire is predetermined and out of our control—we either have it or we don't. In reality, desire is remarkably fluid—shaped by the meanings we attach to sex, our sense of self, and the kind of relationship we’re stepping into.  In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Tammy Hill of the Live Your Why podcast to discuss libido and sexual desire. They explore how biology, medications, aging, stress, and hormones can influence our sexual desire—but emphasize that the meanings we carry about sex, marriage, duty, and self-worth are usually the most powerful drivers of all. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also responds to three common scenarios: a husband who uses data and calendars to justify his sexual entitlement a man who responds to sexual differences with persistent whining a mother overwhelmed by young children who feels too “touched out” for sex In each example, she offers insight into how shifting the underlying meaning—not just the behavior—can help couples create a more grounded and mutually satisfying sexual dynamic. **SAVE 20% on Dr. Finlayson-Fife's BRAND-NEW COURSE with code SWW20**

With the holidays ahead, many of us are getting ready for extended-family gatherings—and the fun, stress, and complexity that can come with them. Our extended-family relationships can be particularly challenging because they push directly on our differentiation. As Dr. Finlayson-Fife teaches, few things—aside from marriage—expose our difficulty with differentiation quite like spending time with the families we grew up in. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers audience questions about common extended-family challenges, including enmeshed parent–child relationships, triangulation, intrusive or overstepping in-laws, sibling competitiveness, and families that resist change. She talks about how couples can stay steady in these situations by being clear about how they want to function, holding to their integrity, and choosing honest, grounded ways of relating—regardless of the pressures around them.

Many of us carry sexual shame that began long before adulthood. The tone of our childhood homes, the way our parents handled emotion and mistakes, and the silence or anxiety surrounding the body all shaped how acceptable our desires—and our imperfections—felt to us. Those early messages often linger, coloring how we see ourselves and even how we imagine God sees us. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Chris Rich of The Mixed-Faith Relationship Podcast to unpack where sexual shame comes from and how it shows up in adulthood. She explains how shame turns toxic when it convinces us that our flaws make us unworthy, and she offers a clearer, kinder way forward—one that helps us accept our embodied nature, integrate our sexuality, and relate to ourselves with more honesty and compassion. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: What sexual shame actually is—and how it develops How childhood experiences shape comfort with desire Why many of us confuse anxiety with “God’s judgment” The difference between healthy inhibition and toxic shame How both repression and indulgence keep us stuck What genuine sexual integration looks like How to foster healthier, shame-free conversations with our children JOIN OUR MAILING LIST HERE and you'll get the link to join us for an online screening of "The Mormon Sex Therapist" on Thursday! 

We've received many requests over the years to offer some of Dr. Finlayson-Fife's resources in other languages. Today we are thrilled to be offering our first episode in Spanish (a translation of THIS popular episode from the archive). We are incredibly grateful to Miriam Parkin for offering her time and talent to translate this episode and look forward to offering more resources in Spanish in the future! ___________ El conflicto surge naturalmente cuando dos personas intentan construir una vida juntas y representa una valiosa oportunidad de crecimiento si lo permitimos. Cuando no estamos de acuerdo con nuestra pareja, solemos recurrir a comportamientos que causan dolor y frustración, en lugar de esforzarnos por encontrar respuestas más productivas y colaborativas, aunque a menudo parezcan contraintuitivas. En este episodio, la Dra. Finlayson-Fife se une a la coach de relaciones Anne Nelson para hablar sobre cómo las relaciones pueden crecer y prosperar, incluso ante el conflicto y las diferencias.

When a marriage feels painful or uncertain, it’s easy to tell ourselves we just need more time to figure out the "right" thing to do. But there’s a difference between taking time to make a wise choice and staying stuck because we’re afraid to face the difficult reality of what we know is true. Real hope invites growth and honesty. False hope keeps us waiting for something to change when there’s strong evidence it never will. In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife answers questions from listeners wrestling with whether to stay or leave their marriages. She explores why peace doesn’t come from certainty, but from the courage to act with integrity—choosing what we believe is most right, even when both paths carry loss. _______ Join us for a date night with Dr. Jennifer on November 8th in St. George!

In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Jane Copier of the Happy in the Middle podcast to speak directly to women in midlife who feel disconnected from desire or unsure of how to bring themselves back into their marriages. She explains why this stage—though often uncomfortable—is full of possibility: a chance to stop living on autopilot, get honest about what you want in your life, and create more peace and connection in your relationship. If this episode hits home, you'd love The Art of Desire course for women: https://www.finlayson-fife.com/courses/course/the-art-of-desire Get the Book: https://amzn.to/48HnuUC

When pornography shows up in our lives or relationships, our instinct is often to meet it with fear, shame, silence, or attempts to control. But these responses don’t bring peace—they keep us anxious, afraid, and disconnected from ourselves and each other. In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Lauren Yarrow of The Blonde Apologist to offer a powerful reframe for those struggling to understand or navigate pornography—whether in their own lives, in marriage, while dating, or as parents. Drawing on insights from That We Might Have Joy, Dr. Finlayson-Fife explains how growth doesn’t come through control or avoidance, but through honesty, self-understanding, and integrity. JOIN US FOR THE ART OF LOVING RETREAT

Relationships feel easy when things are going well—when we feel understood and everything between us feels steady. They’re much harder when we’re frustrated, disappointed, or misunderstood. Yet it’s in those moments of friction and honest conflict that we’re invited to grow—to become wiser, more grounded, and more capable of real love. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Monica Tanner to share insights from That We Might Have Joy and explore how conflict in marriage isn’t a sign that something’s gone wrong, but part of the very process through which deeper intimacy and peace take shape. **Join us for Date Night With Dr. Jennifer! **

Few struggles cut as deep in marriage as mismatched desire. When one partner feels perpetually rejected and the other feels endlessly pressured, resentment builds. In this NEW episode, hosted by Rhonda Farr, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife draws from Chapter 3 of her book That We Might Have Joy to unpack how repression drives obsession, why intimacy is so difficult to tolerate, and how agency and integrity can open the way to real communion in marriage. JOIN US FOR THE ART OF LOVING RETREAT! Order That We Might Have Joy HERE!

Many Latter-day Saints grow up learning that the body and pleasure are threats to spirituality—that sexuality is something to fear or control. These teachings were often given with good intentions, but they were also misinformed, and they have made it harder for many to find peace in marriage and within themselves. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins the hosts of the All Things for Good Podcast to explore how our own theology, rightly understood, offers a far richer view: that the body is a spiritual gift, and that sex can become the sacrament of marriage—a way of knowing God, ourselves, and each other with more honesty, love, and joy. Preorder your copy of That We Might Have Joy here: https://amzn.to/4gu0FW9 Join Dr. Finlayson-Fife at LDS CAPA's Fall Conference here: https://ldscapa.org/events-page/

Your kids are learning about sex—whether you talk to them about it or not. And if you’ve ever wished Dr. Finlayson-Fife could coach you through these important conversations (and honestly, who hasn’t?), this episode is for you. In this conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife offers practical guidance for parents who want to raise sexually healthy, thoughtful, and confident kids. You’l learn more about: How to foster a relationship where your kids feel safe bringing you their questions and concerns Setting limits and expectations without shaming or controlling Supporting a child who is questioning their sexual orientation Navigating conversations when you and your spouse don’t see eye-to-eye If you'd like to learn even more, enroll in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex Course!

In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Hunter Otis of the Pxrn Free Revolution podcast to explore the hidden pressures men carry around sexuality. They discuss why porn is such a tempting escape, how cultural and personal messages keep men stuck, and—most importantly—how stepping out of hiding can lead to greater freedom, honesty, and deeper connection in their lives and relationships. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: Why pornography becomes a counterfeit refuge How cultural and family messages fuel shame / secrecy  Why secrecy keeps you stuck What integration actually looks like and how to work toward it Join us for the Art of Loving Retreat this September! Learn more HERE. 

For many women, sex feels like something to get through—another duty to manage, another expectation to meet. And yet, the more we pressure ourselves to “fix” our difficulty with desire, the more elusive it becomes. This is because desire cannot be manufactured. It will never come from obligation, attempts to appease, or from sheer willpower. It only thrives in freedom—when we feel true to ourselves, at ease in our own skin, and at peace with how we are showing up in our lives. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife unpacks why women so often struggle with desire and and what they can do to cultivate a sexual relationship that feels alive and worth wanting.  Listen to the full episode to learn: Why you can’t force yourself into desire How duty-based meanings suffocate women’s eroticism The crucial differences between men’s and women’s sexuality Why freedom and authenticity are the lifeblood of passion Join us for the Art of Desire Retreat! Click HERE to SAVE $100 with code Desire! 

In this NEW episode of the Faith Matters podcast, Dr. Jennifer joins Tim and Aubrey Chaves to share insights from her long-awaited book That We Might Have Joy. They discuss how sexuality is not a distraction from spirituality, but a pathway to it—that intimacy and desire can help us grow into deeper integrity, more honest marriages, and more profound faith. You can PREORDER YOUR COPY of the book HERE. If you'd like to get a signed copy, JOIN US AT RESTORE (use code JFF2025 to SAVE 10%!). We will be having a special book launch event on the evening of September 25th and Dr. Finlayson-Fife will be on the main stage on September 27th—you don't wait to miss it! 

In this episode, listeners joined Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife for a Q&A discussion about her soon-to-be-released book, That We Might Have Joy (order your copy HERE!). During the conversation, she answered listener's questions about the process of writing the book, how she decided on the topic, and what lessons she learned along the way. But, true to form, Dr. Finlayson-Fife offered more than just simple answers to questions during this discussion—she challenged limiting cultural messages about the body, spoke about the courage it takes to face the truth in our relationships, and explained why intimacy always begins with self-honesty. If you'd like to get a SIGNED copy of the book, join us at RESTORE (use code JFF2025 to save 10%) or at a special Faith Matters gathering on October 1st! We have a busy schedule this fall! Click HERE to learn more about our upcoming events, we'd love to have you join us!

We’re re-releasing our most-listened-to episode ever—and for good reason. In this powerful conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Carol Lynn Pearson, Stephen Carter, and Dan Wotherspoon to talk about the real purpose of marriage—and why the challenges we face in it are what drives our personal and spiritual growth. They discuss how marriage can stretch us in the best ways—pushing us to confront ourselves, to move through conflict instead of away from it, and to build something real and lasting in the process. In the episode, you'll learn more about:  Why conflict is often a doorway to intimacy How monogamy pressures us to evolve What Mormon culture gets wrong—and right—about marriage Why creating a strong marriage is a spiritual process If you’ve ever wondered why marriage feels so hard sometimes, and whether it’s supposed to be easier—this episode will meet you right where you are. *In the episode,Carol Lynn Pearson's poem "The Steward" is referenced *On August 12th Dr. Finlayson-Fife will be launching the pre-order link for her new book! JOIN OUR MAILING LIST for details!