Happy New Year!!! Welcome to Discount Storytime’s end of the year compilation of Discount Ideas. If you follow this show on Bluesky, you may have seen a few of these posted. But here they are, a big clump of them in all their discount glory. If you want to hear the first set of Discount Ideas, they are here. As mentioned last week, we are looking for a sponsor and are courting Kohler. So we’ve included a sample commercial. Enjoy and Happy New Year! Content warning for Profanity. N...

To all our listeners I want to wish happy holidays to you and the ones you love. This week's story is an homage to an 80's horror classic "Killer Klowns from Outer Space." And had inspiration from the Canadian Horror Comedy "Slaxx." Additionally, we at Discount Storytime have been looking for a sponsor and, after doing some market research, found that up to 60% of our audience uses indoor plumbing. Therefore, it only makes sense that Kohler sponsors us. So we have added a brief ...

We're Baaack!!!! Long story short, Discount Storytime is home. :-) If you have downloaded this episode, would you please, please click the "say hi" link below and let me know you received it? And, if you would, please let me know what genres you enjoy so I can tailor future stories for you awesome listeners. Thank you!!! "Bluer" is a parody of the 1996 horror move "Thinner." It's so scary you'll Snurf yourself! (You can also catch a great discussion of this movie at the Werewolf Ambulan...

What happens if you lose your hand bones in a card game? Content warning for profanity, horror elements, and body horror. This story was read by voice actor Grande. He can be emailed at grande@dalpoco.net, or check out his substack at https://dalpoco.substack.com/! Music: "Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay Sound Effects by freesound_community from Pixabay "Click here to say hi!" Support the show Find Discount Storytime on Bluesky Email me here! Thank yo...

A monster, an angry mob, and a proposal. Content warning for sexual themes. Click here for CHICKEN FRIED HORROR! "Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay "Happy Funk" by Alex Guz from Pixabay Sound Effects by freesound_community from Pixabay "Click here to say hi!" Support the show Find Discount Storytime on Bluesky Email me here! Thank you for being awesome listeners!!!

This week is a reply of season one's Thanksgiving Special. Enjoy Our sponsor this week is "Leche Bell Grande." Enjoy! Content Warning: Horror elements, Profanity Here is the link to our new podcast, Chicken Fried Horror! Music: "Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay "Romantic Adventure" by Pavel Bekirov from Pixabay “Funk Upbeat” by Mikhail Smusev from Pixabay Turkey Sound Effects by freesound_community from Pixabay taco-bell-bong-sfx sound effect by by James Whi...

Click here for our new podcast - CHICKEN FRIED HORROR! Hear the lost audio journal of a true POS (Pioneer Of Science). Enjoy! (You can also read this story here.) Content warning for profanity, body horror, and horror elements. Check out Chicken Fried Horror here! About Discount Storytime: Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the adulting for a bit and listen to a story? If your world feels heavy, and you would love to have someone read you a story that makes you laugh, then tune ...

Click here for our new podcast - CHICKEN FRIED HORROR! Will Geraldine ever make a friend at the park? Enjoy! (You can also read this story here.) Content warning for childhood bullying Discount Idea #62: Do you think I’m messing around? I’m not messing around. Take a good look. I'm wearing my all business Hamburglar costume. About Discount Storytime: Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the adulting for a bit and listen to a story? If your world feels heavy, and you would love t...

The long lost original version of Sleeping Beauty, or "Briar Rose." Enjoy! Discount Idea #68: "You don’t have to be “in” nature to enjoy the benefits. Try simply thinking about nature, or watching a nature documentary on your couch, or eating pizza poppers while watching that movie about chainsaw monkeys." Content warning for profanity, horror elements, body horror, adult content, and tobacco use. This story was read by voice actor Grande. He can be emailed at grande@dalpoco.net, ...

A Discount SPOOKYtime story! Happy Halloween! (You can also read this story here.) Discount Idea #63: Some people beat the living daylights out of a stranger. That is cruel. Instead, try beating the living daylights IN TO a stranger. Next week‘s story: Toe Jamalama Fatalis. Subscribe so you can hear the long lost audio journal of a true P.O.S (Pioneer Of Science). About Discount Storytime: Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the adulting for a bit and listen to a story? I...

The spider got 'curds and WHEY' more than he bargained for. Enjoy! (you can read the story here) Discount Storytime is proud to introduce our super resident voice actor: Grande! Click here for his bio and contact information! Discount Idea #66: "If the headless horseman is chasing you, don't panic. Pull out a bag of pumpkin seeds and start eating them. He will realize who is in charge." About Discount Storytime: Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the adulting for a bit and liste...

Can the King and Queen survive an empty castle, together? Enjoy! (You can also read this story here.) Discount Idea #61: You can’t win them all. Sometimes you’re the goose. Sometimes you’re the meteorite that lands on the goose. Next week‘s story: Sand Trap. Will little Geraldine ever make a friend at the park? Subscribe so you can find out. About Discount Storytime: Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the adulting for a bit and listen to a story? If your world feels heavy...

A horrific retelling of a childhood favorite. Enjoy! (You can also read it here.) Content warning for profanity. Discount Idea #60- I once hired a dog walker. A little while later a dog came to my door and said "I walked here. That'll be $25." Next week‘s story: A Bit of Housekeeping. Can the King and Queen of Discountvania survive an empty castle, together? Subscribe so you can find out. About Discount Storytime: Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the adulting fo...

Can everyone just get along? Enjoy! (You can also read it here.) Content warning for violence. Discount Idea #59- I awoke to the scary sound of wailing and moaning in the middle of the night. Was it coming from ghosts? No. Luckily it was just the captives in my basement. Next week‘s story: An Unfortunate H. Well, ain't this just a horrific retelling of a childhood favorite. Subscribe so you can find out. About Discount Storytime: Love humorous short stories? Want to pause...

Will Stumbly make a splash at the Circus? Enjoy! Discount Idea #58- I used be a vegetarian. But after getting bit by a werewolf I now have to say "mostly vegetarian." Next week‘s story: Virus Park. Can everyone at Virus Park just get along? Subscribe so you can find out. About Discount Storytime: Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the adulting for a bit and listen to a story? If your world feels heavy, and you would love to have someone read you a story that makes you...

To what lengths will someone go to rescue friends? Enjoy! (You can also read it here.) Content warning for profanity, body horror, and horror elements. Discount Idea #57- "Do naked maniacs have nightmares about being clothed and ready for exams? " Next week‘s story is: The Fall of Stumbly. Will our hero, Stumbly, make a splash at the Circus? Subscribe so you can find out. About Discount Storytime: Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the adulting for a bit and listen to a story?...

When hunting elk and mountain seals just doesn't give the same thrill, try this. Enjoy! Content warning for profanity and body horror. Discount Idea #56- It wasn't so bad my parents getting divorced. But did they have to sue each other for spawning a "dud?" Next week‘s story is: The Cursed Robinsons. To what lengths will someone go to rescue friends? Subscribe so you can find out. About Discount Storytime: Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the adulting for a bit and l...

When you wish upon a door… Enjoy! Discount Idea #51- "Dating tip: If you’re on a first date and your date mutters 'it will make me kill again.' There’s probably more to that story." Next week‘s story is: Hunting Dragons, Inc. What do you hunt when elk and mountain seals just don't give the same thrill? Subscribe and find out. About Discount Storytime: Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the adulting for a bit and listen to a story? If your world feels heavy, and...

Inspired by the 2024 horror movie "Beezel." ( https://epic-pictures.com/film/beezel ) What happens when a young couple buys a house with a long history of tragedy? Enjoy! Content warning: profanity, body gore, and horror elements Music: "Piano Horror Soundtrack - Bruno Magic" by Bruno Magic from Pixabay "Positive Energy" by by Vitalii Vakulenko from Pixabay "Boccherini, Luigi - Minuet (Excerpt) - G.275 - Arr. for Harpsichord" by Gregor Quendel from Pixabay "Skinny Food Fighters Bl...

What happens if super villains get exposed to truth serum? Find out on this weeks short story "LOVE, LLC." Enjoy! Content Warning: Profanity, Violence, Adult Themes. Music: "Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay Sound Effects by freesound_community from Pixabay "Send Coffee a message" Listen to a free bonus story at Discount Storytime's Patreon. Bonus content available at www.patreon.com/DiscountStorytime My contact information: email: mail@discountstorytim...