Celebrating 20 Years of featuring the worst the Internet has to offer! Everyday DV showcases the weirdest stuff from around social media, the web, and the world. WTF audio, bizarre news stories, and NSFW comedy. A Podcast for freaks - leave your morals at the door and laugh at the inappropriate. Audio and video too extreme to go viral, the very worst of fanfic, interviews with strange and wonderful freaks, and outrageous news stories you won't find in the mainstream media.
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Celebrating 20 Years of featuring the worst the Internet has to offer! Everyday DV showcases the weirdest stuff from around social media, the web, and the world. WTF audio, bizarre news stories, and NSFW comedy. A Podcast for freaks - leave your morals at the door and laugh at the inappropriate. Audio and video too extreme to go viral, the very worst of fanfic, interviews with strange and wonderful freaks, and outrageous news stories you won't find in the mainstream media.
Presidential Fuck Machine, Abraham Lincoln: Emancipator of Tight Assholes
Distorted View Daily
1 hour 5 minutes 47 seconds
2 weeks ago
Presidential Fuck Machine, Abraham Lincoln: Emancipator of Tight Assholes
On Today’s Show:
Tim opens with a fresh intro explaining why you’re getting a classic instead of a new show:
* Weekend trip to visit his mom in Ashtabula turns into a rental car disaster
* Stranded with a busted rental, five-hour delay, and useless Enterprise locations
* Learns only airport rental counters are open on weekends
* Forced to drive home in a bright cherry red Kia Soul that doesn’t fit a 6’2″ man or his ego
* Promises a new DV episode later in the afternoon, but for now serves up a filthy Best Of from 2016 featuring an Abraham Lincoln Sextastic Tuesday
We then jump back to Tuesday, March 8, 2016, Sideshow-era Sextastic Tuesday.
Opening / Twitter & Period Blood
* Tim rants that Twitter is only good for yelling at companies, citing his Chipotle burrito bowl saga
* Reads a curated stream of disgusting sex tweets about period blood, wrecked pussies, and weird-smelling dicks to set the Sextastic mood
Diva Cup Slam Poetry
* Plays a performance piece about Diva Cups and “pussy blood collections”
* Poets lovingly describe pouring menstrual blood into a “chalice” and even rubbing it on a boyfriend’s dick
* Tim pushes back: bodies are gross, blood is gross, genitals are gross — please keep all that to yourself
Sextastic Clips: Tourette’s & Teeny Peenies
* Tourette’s porn: schoolgirl with Tourette’s shouting obscene phrases as her “spasms” conveniently slam her face into dick territory
* Chubby “sweet boy” porn: a massive, hairy man gets humiliating baby talk about his “little peenie” while his gut is lifted to find his dick, all set to bizarre children’s-style background music
Sextastic Story: Abraham Lincoln Presidential Fuck Machine
Feature-length erotic fanfic starring Abraham Lincoln with magic cum:
* Abe wakes in 1863 with a raging erection and an itchy seven-point star birthmark on his thigh
* Skips Mary Todd and gets serviced by maid Martha, who deep-throats his nine-inch “birch rod” while he calmly sips tea and eats biscuits
* Later, Japanese emissary Takeyoshi reveals Lincoln is a chosen shinobi whose power comes from his loins
* A super-charged orgasm blasts through the White House wall and across the sky like a cum comet
* Abe then lubes up with breakfast butter, rails the ninja, and joins in a multi-man cabinet fuck session as everyone services everyone else
* Lincoln’s “powers” manifest through gigantic loads and a convulsing ninja asshole
Sponsor
* AdamAndEve.com spot:
* Use coupon code FREAK for 10 free gifts + free shipping
* Tim begs you to buy smut and support DV
News
* China Elevator Horror
* Woman dies trapped in a shut-down elevator; body discovered a month later
* Scratch marks inside show she tried to escape; Tim imagines the smell and rats.
* Punch-Your-Husband Women’s Day Event (China)
Distorted View Daily
Celebrating 20 Years of featuring the worst the Internet has to offer! Everyday DV showcases the weirdest stuff from around social media, the web, and the world. WTF audio, bizarre news stories, and NSFW comedy. A Podcast for freaks - leave your morals at the door and laugh at the inappropriate. Audio and video too extreme to go viral, the very worst of fanfic, interviews with strange and wonderful freaks, and outrageous news stories you won't find in the mainstream media.
