Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

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Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Dave and Paul

176 episodes

1 day ago

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Dave's brain doesn't work!Mr. Short Term Memory!In the way, Dave!Negativity AWAY!Levity! Brevity!A dollar in the douche jar!HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KEVIN!Airline tickets are too expensive for shenanigans!Levity! Brevity!"Severance" is amazing, though horrifying!Useless degrees!Will philosophize for food!Rants!Lady Gaga Levity!Up and down like a toilet seat in a men's room!Updated Irwin Allen!CGI sucks compared to practical effects!"The Goonies" s...

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Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Dave's brain doesn't work!Mr. Short Term Memory!In the way, Dave!Negativity AWAY!Levity! Brevity!A dollar in the douche jar!HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KEVIN!Airline tickets are too expensive for shenanigans!Levity! Brevity!"Severance" is amazing, though horrifying!Useless degrees!Will philosophize for food!Rants!Lady Gaga Levity!Up and down like a toilet seat in a men's room!Updated Irwin Allen!CGI sucks compared to practical effects!"The Goonies" s...

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Entertainment News

Episodes (20/176)

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

We LOVE "Severance", The New Gay Golden Girls Show, and Teens Try to Kill Mother Over Wi-Fi Dispute!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Dave's brain doesn't work!Mr. Short Term Memory!In the way, Dave!Negativity AWAY!Levity! Brevity!A dollar in the douche jar!HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KEVIN!Airline tickets are too expensive for shenanigans!Levity! Brevity!"Severance" is amazing, though horrifying!Useless degrees!Will philosophize for food!Rants!Lady Gaga Levity!Up and down like a toilet seat in a men's room!Updated Irwin Allen!CGI sucks compared to practical effects!"The Goonies" s...

9 months ago

52 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Dave Had Spinal Fusion Surgery, Gay Humpback Whale Orgy, and Couple Forced to Sit Next to Corpse on Long Haul Flight!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Tinnitus!Defective Q-Tips!Disgusting ear detritus!Paul gets real!Back surgery is scary!Pain meds are fun!Red heads are weird!Catheters aren't fun!You really want to pass the catheter test!Paul Nightingale!Screws, rods, and holes!Tooth in eye disease!Seeing eye tooth!Paul gets frustrated!"You're a 52-year-old man!"Dave needs to listen to Paul more often!Pushed buttons!Boiled rabbits!Meghan "I'm inauthentic asf" Markle's new crappy show!Gho...

10 months ago

52 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

We Talk Crocs, The Female Orgasm, and Woman's Fun DNA Test Ends in Murder Arrest!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Zoo-bee-zoo-bee-zoooooo!David hates something!Paul's zen vibe!Dave's Ninja Slushy machine desire!McDonald's pop tastes different!Crocs are ridiculous!Jibbitz! They're JIBBITZ, GOD DAMNIT!It's called UNSCHOOLING!Dave's fear of children!Hernia fun!Surgeon's offices suck!Facebook reels!Dave knows a lot about female orgasms!The straight man is the problem!Marry your gay best friend!We saw "Gladiator 2", and it was fine!Music was crap, t...

1 year ago

42 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

We LOVED "Wicked" the Movie, Paul Discovered "Kath & Kim", and The New York United Healthcare CEO Murder!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Black mold everywhere!It's Brittany Murphy, David!We ain't dead yet!We were blown away by "Wicked", the movie!Oz was dark!The book was darker!Let's make life a musical!Dave's uneven!We missed you all! Sorry for being away!Posterior fusion surgery of cervical vertebrae sounds like a fun time!News is banned from our house now!Please, universe! Let us go extinct!Leonard!We get to sing the Friday Night Song!Bong Crisby!We finally got to see a...

1 year ago

46 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Paul LOVES Brian Jordan Alvarez's "English Teacher", Raygun Named World's #1 Breakdancer, and Dave's Elderly Facebook Reels Addiction!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Paul's irritation!Irritating tics!Leonard!Dave might just be a bit irritating...!Little brother, Dave!White person taco night!Pico de Gallo!Boring recipes!Paul's delicious salad dressing!"Hi! My name's Steve, and I'm a convicted sex offender!"Bring that sass!Don't eat Boar's Head Meat products!Paul doesn't give a S**T!Paul's connection to the new show, "English Teacher"!World DanceSport Federation names Raygun Number 1!Kidz Bop is creepy ...

1 year ago

47 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Paul's Demure & Mindful Love of Feta Cheese, Australia's Incredible Olympic "Breakdancer" Raygun, and 26-Inch Eel Extracted out of Man's Anus!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Why is Dave doing what he's doing? To annoy you! Is it working?Paul is very demure and mindful!Dave got French right!Sassy Paul is out to play!Jools Lebron! Look them up!Paul's sudden love of...feta?!Greek salad deliciousness!Glazed donuts!Paul ate ALL the feta!If you're offended easily, please don't listen!Dave suffers from CRS - Can't Remember S&*t!Blanche! What's the deal with Raygun?!When you screw up in 2024, it's glo...

1 year ago

46 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Ontario Booze Merchants on Strike, RIP Shannen Doherty and Others, and Florida Man Sneezes Out His Intestines!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Episode 69 with someone planking on top!Saturday recordings!Dave is a little old man!LCBO on Strike!Doug Ford, brother of Crackhead Rob Ford!Dangerous edibles!Dave enjoys being high!The Great Mysterio!Dave has no point!Medicine time!Death denying society! Yay!Rick Mercer's ice flows!"The Office" is awesome!"RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars Season 9" is Fantastic!Paul wants an extra 3 inches!Death has visited us too many times recently!RIP: Sh...

1 year ago

43 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Harrison Butker is a Jackass, Kids Experience Carnage at the Zoo, and Our Thoughts on "Baby Reindeer"!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Harrison Butker wants his wife in the kitchen making cookies!The Rule of Thumb was a thing!It's 2024, for goodness’ sake!Trad Wife movement is ridiculous!Right wing homosexuality!Stop thrusting your religious nonsense on me!Happy Birthday, CIA Amy!Happy 52nd birthday, Dave!Nummy Steak!Paul is an extrovert-introvert! Dave is simply introverted!Dave's age can be talked about in decades!Sitting on a secret!Ancient scrolls!We miss rotar...

1 year ago

50 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

We Experienced the 2024 Total Solar Eclipse, JoJo Siwa Thinks She Invented Gay Pop Music, and "I Wish I Didn't Know" Friday Night Trivia Time!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Laughter!Intros are fun!Amy Sedaris night!More WINE!Bye bye, OJ!Dave has a bunch of useless crap in his mind!We experienced solar eclipse totality!Bloody clouds!Car sickness!Day to night, back to day in minutes!Sharp shadows!The rapture will get rid of a lot of a-holes!Paul's phantom conversations!Special dogs!Glucose dog is disappointed in Dave...!JoJo Siwa is under the impression she invented Gay Pop music!Kiss sold their catalog for 30...

1 year ago

47 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

We Saw "Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire", Man Hacks Wife's LinkedIn to Expose Her Affair, and "I Wish I Didn't Know" Friday Night Trivia Time!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: It's WINE o'clock!French butcher!Gewürztraminer wine!David is a cheap drunk, apparently!Paul is a fantastic chef!Soy sauce problems!We enjoyed "Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire"!Truman Capote was annoying!Smoking is gross!Vaping is ridiculous!Solar Eclipse of the heart!Totality is where it's at, baby!All the earthquakes!LinkedIn Affairs!Farts are funny! Episode Links (In Order): Ronnie Vino - It's Friday Night!Ivana Trump's grave is overgrown!...

1 year ago

51 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Remembering John Candy, Let's Boycott Kellogg's, and "I Wish I Didn't Know" Friday Night Trivia Time!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Gross songs! Thanks, Tim!Yeast is still gross!Paula Abdul!Paul's songs and music ADHD!Yes, and?!Madonna is a jackass to her fans!We love sleeping!More BLTs!Dave??!!We miss John Candy!Paul isn't sentimental!Let's get rid of Dave's stuff before he dies!Dave is Paul's daddy!Pornhub pulls out of Texas!Your car is reporting your driving habits to your insurance company!Gleaning with Paul!"Law & Order Toronto: Criminal Intent" is very Canad...

1 year ago

53 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Dave's Crazy BLT Sandwiches, Couple Use Human Yeast to Make Cinnamon Rolls, and "I Wish I Didn't Know" Saturday Night Trivia Time!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: The BEE GEES!Dave is a lady boy man!We're a day late, but yer getting an episode!Paul is the animal nanny!Olive the dog!Dave, the BLT master!No basic sandwiches for Dave!Paul is a basic sandwich bitch!Trailer park memories!Head Cheese sounds DELICIOUS!Happy Early 20th Anniversary, Doug and Chris! Have a fantastic voyage!We watched "Bridge of the Doomed"!Yeasty cinnamon rolls! YUMMY!Milky goodness!How to cultivate human yeast?!?!Don'...

1 year ago

52 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

We Weren't Shocked by "Saltburn", Jon Hamm is Tired of People Talking About His Penis, and "I Wish I Didn't Know" Friday Night Trivia Time!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Paul's congestion!It's Amy Sedaris night!Low energy Friday!Hey Julieta, Diana, and Brit!Paul is empathetic! Dave...not so much!Dave was molested? WHAAAATTT??!?!?!"Saltburn" was not shocking to us!Uncut grave humping!"Short Bus" was shocking!Paul at Pine Knob!"Curb Your Enthusiasm" is uncomfortable!Wil Wheaton vs Larry David re Elmo!Jon Hamm's penis talk!Paul has impeccable dickdar!Drake's big penis!Ricky Spanish!Fire crotch!Keep your kids...

1 year ago

52 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

TV Shows Paul is Excited About, Tesla Trash, and "I Wish I Didn't Know" Friday Night Trivia Time!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: A Spanish flea!Happy 2024!Paul got COVID!Our fun health issues! YAY!We're boiling, globally speaking!SAD = Great acronym!Paul's TV show dreams!"Curb Your Enthusiasm" is cringe - but in a good way!"Young Sheldon" isn't Dave's fave...!Dave = Ruiner of Paul's enjoyment of shows!Blame it on the edit!Let's make money off True Crime!I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire!No more "Schmigadoon"!Screw you, Netflix!Teslas are GARBAGE!Oooohhh......

1 year ago

55 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Rudy Giuliani Finally Faces Some Consequences, Family's Christmas Lights Display Irks Neighbours, and Christmas Trivia Time!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Ron the Gay Nosed Reindeer!I'm a power, dom top!Brutalized French, yet again!Ghouliani is SCREWED! YAYYYYY!Abuse of power finally slapped down!Andrew Giuliani is a huge POS, just like his dad!Rudy Ghouliani married his second cousin!Dave pukes loudly! Paul pukes quietly!Petechial hemorrhage = MURDER!Loud sneezing!Dave can turn on Paul's Siri!Screw you, Siri!Green Christmases!Super Snow Days!Latch key kids!Song potpourri!Marijuana memory l...

2 years ago

55 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Our Christmas Memories, Couple has Sex the Wrong Way for Four Years, and Christmas Movie Trivia Time!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Bing Crosby was a Christmas monster!Chevy Chase is a complete dirtbag!Schwetty Jingle Balls!Terry Bitchy!"Candy Cane Lane" is the shepherd's pie of movies!Dave isn't into the Marvel Universe...or "Star Wars"...!Dave's core 4: "Die Hard", "Home Alone", "Christmas Vacation", and "A Christmas Story"!Leonard and his ghosts!Pap Smear Beer!Hi Tim!Business class spoilage!The malaria/tape worm diet!Paul's cramped thumb!Music ADHD!Dave = Ying! Pau...

2 years ago

54 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Paul's "Wicked" Musical Memories, Methamphetamine and Lego, and "I Wish I Didn't Know" Friday Night Trivia Time!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Bad Beyoncé!Low energy!Hey Macao! Give us a dingle!Name change to "It's been a Hot Minute!"!Welcome to our newest Patreon member, KEVIN! Hey Kevin!Let's all pee inappropriately on the plane!Full moons!Haaaaay Herbie!Leonard, the attention whore!Happy Anniversary, "Wicked, the Musical"!Our fun musical journey!Expensive tickets are ridiculous!iTunes has screwed us! Thanks, Apple!Dave still can't stand Lea Michelle!Shoshana "Flicker" B...

2 years ago

54 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Our Friend Kevin's Airplane Poop Story, Colorado Funeral Home's Corpse Collection, and Zombie Movie Trivia Time!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Creamy goodness!More attempted French!Ronnie Vino says hello!More poopy plane fun!Debagging??!!Steamy bathroom floor poo!Accident or on purpose? YOU DECIDE!Human garbage!STEWARDESS??!! Wow...way to show your age, Dave!Kevin's flight attendant memories!Leonard!Paul's bitchiness!Throat punch with the sewers of hell!Leonard!!THEY SHOULD TRAIN YOU FOR THIS SITUATION!Secret knocks!Stranger underwear!Leonard!!!Kevin is a saint and deserve...

2 years ago

53 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Crime Scene Sex Doll Temptation, More Stupid Baby Names, and Horror Movie Trivia Time!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Sausages and dryers!October Friday the 13th, baby!Trumped solar eclipses!Dave is a hot dog aficionado!Paul enjoys mouth feel!Alcoholics!Lips and Assholes, Beaks and Feet!Karen!Ass cancer!Diarrhea plane, part deux!Crime scene sex doll fun!Dave's sex doll fun!Avenue Q!Stupid baby names! SO STUPID!Ice chomping = sexual frustration!Twig! Log! Branch! Bark!It's "Marceau", you peasant!Methamphetamine Rules!Blanche's letter FINALLY arrived...

2 years ago

51 minutes

Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Stolen Salad, Delta's Diarrhea Plane, and Horror Movie Trivia Time!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Diarrhea, plop plop!When in doubt, reboot!David's issues! AGAIN!Welcome to our new Patreon member, Abigail!Depression is fantastic!Hot sex in the masturbatorium!Burps AND farts!Pumpkin spice latte!Taylor Swift enjoys some Kelce penis!Paris bed bug fun!Cole slaw cum!Greek salad!Mozzarella stick math!Diarrhea plane fecal fiasco!Farts are hilarious!Car sex!"Milf Manor"!Horror trivia time!Ecstasy! Episode Links (In Order): Ronnie Vino - It's ...

2 years ago

52 minutes