Oh god, Jesus... we had a whole script written out, but all you need to know is that it's hot. It makes us hungry hot. It's so doggone hot that we can't run the podcast machine but twicet a month. It's too hot to do chores, so we just sit here in our own filth. We won't pay that electric company one more cent than we have to. Lord, it's hot.

Desmond has a premonition and realizes the Island is about to receive another visitor. He sets out for a camping trip with Charlie, Hurley, and Jin. Anticipating a reunion, Desmond reminisces about his first meeting with Penny Widmore. Andrew mixes up a couple of books. Apologies to Joseph Heller.

Juliet settles in to life on the beach. She reflects on her circumstances: the sister she left in Florida, the Island on which she's being held captive, the smooth Other with whom she enjoyed a tryst, and the bug-eyed Machiavelli who now controls her life. Her reminiscence culminates in a revelation of her true mission... M.C. and Andrew lament the lack of chyrons and consider the legacy of our favorite user-edited encyclopedia.

We're gonna take a little breakie! Gather our resolve. Splash some cold water on our collective face and come back fresh. The plan is to resume uploading on July 6th. Maybe I'll have figured out the Apple podcast issue by then.

Will Horneff is not Will Friedle. He's also not Nate Richert. Charlize does have a pixie cut in Mighty Joe Young, but it's curly. Also, Naveen Andrews is in that movie. The Langoliers was adapted to a two-part television miniseries featuring David Morse and Dean Stockwell, but it's not great. M.C. and Andrew discuss the various properties based on the novel series by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins. They also grapple with the separation of church and state.

Nikki and Paulo were up to some high jinks prior to the 815 crash. On Island, they grapple over a sack of diamonds before meeting their chilling end. M.C. and Andrew chat video editing and discover a spell to remove someone's socks. I have a bag of jewels for you. They're jewels, Betty, they're jewels. I got them all for you.

Locke explodes a submarine for... reasons. Turns out, his dad pushed him out a window on the eighth floor of a building. Ben is currently confined to a wheelchair and to a set of striped pajamas. He also pulls Locke's dad out of a box. M.C. and Andrew anticipate the appearance of Lance Reddick and leaf through a Talbot's catalog.

Sometimes, we talk about things other than LOST. Sometimes, Andrew talks in his sleep.

We Need to Talk About Goth Claire.   We also need to talk about S3E12 of Home Movies, apparently, cuz we did that.

Sayid meets a cat with the name of his lost love. The cat peers deeply into his soul, and he subsequently relives a traumatic encounter from his past. M.C. & Andrew discuss how wonderful and mystical and beautiful cats are, and they speculate on Nadia's forever home. Also, there's a new Dharma station, and it gets exploded.

Sometimes we talk about things other than LOST. Sometimes we talk about drinking while the sun's up. And also LOST a little bit.

Vincent finds a cool old van in the jungle, and Hurley recruits a pit crew to repair it. He has some prior experience with auto restoration. Hurley ponders his contentious relationship with his largely absent father and succeeds in getting the van to run. M.C. and Andrew chat Island meteorology and cast a BBC reboot of House, M.D.  

DISCLAIMER: Do NOT watch this episode of LOST. Nothing good will come of it. Jack Shephard is an abusive bastard, and his tattoos are dumb. Jack is the worst.

takeabreak.exe

Desmond has some issues keeping his memories in chronological order. It could be on account of all this 60-year old Scotch.   Andrew and M.C. briefly forget how to properly conjugate verbs and Andrew has read two books total.

Further diversions will have to wait; this week, we're Not In Portland. Juliet struggles with her mad scientist experiments, with her Floridian existence, and with the overbearing influence of the men in her life. Will she successfully impreg her sister's cancer-compromised womb? Andrew and M.C. discuss television production schedules and touch ever so briefly on Philip Glass.

Sometimes we talk about things other than LOST. Sometimes we talk about anything other than LOST.

M.C. and Andrew read a whole book for this one: Gary Troup's posthumously published novel Bad Twin. Just kidding, it's metatextual marketing ghostwritten by an absurdly horny dude named Laurence Shames. Join us as we descend into a delirious heat-stroked world of ineffective detectives, dog-based intergenerational bromances, and extremely sweaty heaving breasts. How many binaries will we discover? How many tits does a pair of twins have?

Kate & Nathan Fillion get it on. Kate & Sawyer get it on. Also discussed: - bridal veils - I Origins - wide-ons - the Bible - wigs - Ann-Margaret #GrilloShotFirst

Sawyer once pulled a con in exchange for an early release from prison. Ben is Jigsaw now. M. C. and Andrew are ill-prepared, albeit enthusiastic, to tackle the patriarchy. Lorcan Finnegan, you're on blast, bro. RIP Anton Yelchin