… Yep. The combination of sweat and skin on my tummy had given me what I like to call ‘The Runner-Truffle-Shufffle’. Or possibly ‘The Ruffle’ for short. …

Plate spinning. Maybe a go on a unicycle. Face painting? Clown walking? I wasn’t too sure about the other things but I reckoned I could definitely do the clown walking. Maybe there would also be custard pies to throw (read: eat).

I ordered myself a pair of VibramFiveFingers running shoes. I’d always wanted to try them and had visions of being like Barefoot Ted – but with boobs.

Running is easy, right? Right leg, left leg ... and repeat! NO! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!! There are a set of rules – unwritten until now – that require careful adherence. Should you flout these rules, you will get leg-humped by a Rottweiler on your next run while being get chafed under the armpits by your new cotton t-shirt and having to fling your boobs over your shoulder. Read on ....

Why tomorrow is ‘Push a Hot Runner in a Hedge’ Day

Fortunately & Unfortunately …

The unbreakable race laws and the 1-2-3 of horrors …!!

Am I thinking deep, solemn thoughts when I run? *parp*

I was puffing and panting like a steam locomotive. I could just see the back of the last runner as he disappeared around the corner. It was dark. I was in Coventry.

Learning Points & Getting VERY Lost

I was full of the joys of sunny spring days and was off for a nice muddy lunchtime run …

First rule of swim club is ‘Remember Your Knickers’. I had. I hadn’t even got into the pool yet and I was already winning at swimming.

Running is lots of small victories. It’s fighting the little things.

I had a sore foot, a child under one arm, a bicycle under the other and it was starting to rain.

We all love running … don’t we? Here are 10 reasons I DON’T.

... “Bugger me” said the skeleton who was running next to me.

A 24hr event with laps of 5 miles ... and a rather unhappy tummy.

How not to beat your partner to death with a trainer and why you should live in the moment. And the portaloo.

My last relay had ended in collapse and the feeling I was going to projectile vomit in the hedge. As this was a BEER relay, I had my suspicions that despite it only being 2 miles, this one might end in a similar fashion. (Taken from Dreaming of Footpaths June 2014)

A 10 mile team relay ... and getting eaten by ants. Taken from Dreaming of Footpaths June 2014