Episode 86: The Wrong Paris
Welcome to The Wrong Paris, where Miranda Cosgrove trades her metal welding torch for a reality dating show catastrophe, and Frances Fisher (Rose's disapproving mother from Titanic) finally gets the role she was born to play: Netflix rom-com grandmother. This is cinema, people.
What You're Getting Into: Dawn (Miranda Cosgrove) is a hip country artist saving money in a literal jar to attend art school in Paris, France. When she gets accepted but can't afford tuition, her reality-TV-obsessed sister convinces her to audition for "The Honeypot" - a dating show where contestants can choose between the bachelor or cold hard cash. Plot twist: the show flies them to Paris... Texas. Yes, they spend $120,000-180,000 on private jet fuel just to circle in the air for nine hours and land 45 minutes from Dawn's house. The math isn't mathing, but at least the production budget went somewhere.
Peak Dumpster Moments:
The Cast Reunion: This movie features half the cast of To All the Boys I've Loved Before, including Emilia Baranac (Jen) and other familiar Netflix faces, because apparently Netflix has a Rolodex of actors on speed dial for these productions.
Reality Show Economics: The Honeypot's premise makes zero sense. Why would anyone choose the bachelor when you could take the money AND date him after production wraps? It's double-dipping on winnings, and we spent significant time calculating the flawed game theory. Also, they're apparently offering $20,000 just for appearing, plus challenge winnings up to $10,000. For a dating show filmed in Texas.
Technical Complaints: Scott goes on an extended rant about Netflix's chromatic aberration lens choices, the weird smearing effect in their cinematography, and how they intentionally make things look less crisp to avoid the uncanny valley of high-resolution filming. Also, the band at the bar is hilariously out of sync with the music.
The Verdict: Solidly mid. A respectable 6.1 on IMDb and a 2.5-3 dumpsters from us. It's not the worst thing we've ever seen, but it's so beige and formulaic that it blends into every other Netflix rom-com. Miranda Cosgrove is more enjoyable here than in Mother of the Bride (where she played an Instagram-obsessed bridezilla), mainly because she has a bigger role and isn't just being entitled. The movie is "meh" personified - nothing particularly standout, nothing particularly offensive. Just... beige.
Coming Up Next: We're headed to Oxford (again) with My Oxford Year, starring Sofia Carson. It's another movie about an ambitious young American woman who goes to Oxford University and meets a charming local who changes her life. Yes, this is the third Oxford movie we've encountered. No, we don't know why everyone keeps making these. The cast includes Catherine McCormick from Braveheart as the token older actor, and a bunch of randos. Netflix rom-com formula remains intact.
Episode 85: The Summer I Turned Pretty S2E7-8 (Season Finale)
We're finally closing out Season 2 of The Summer I Turned Pretty, and buckle up - these episodes are annoying in ways that even we didn't expect. Where's the action-packed finale energy? Buried under repetitive arguments and questionable parenting decisions, apparently.
What You're Getting Into: Belly drunk-dials her mom after the house party spirals out of control, leading to Laurel discovering the trashed beach house and her daughter's multi-day lying streak. What follows is a masterclass in awkward stage combat (seriously, someone get these actresses into Patrick Duffy's slap seminar), circular arguments about grief and responsibility, and somehow zero consequences for destroying an entire house.
Peak Dumpster Moments:
The Inheritance Mess: After an entire season of wondering why this house situation is such a disaster, we finally learn that Susanna DID try to handle it before she died, reaching out to lawyers and Aunt Julia about the trust. She just... thought it was resolved? Meanwhile, everyone discovers that apparently no one in this family understands how property law works, and we're left with more questions than answers about capital gains taxes and why Susanna didn't just buy Julia out in the first place.
The Love Triangle Status: Belly and Jeremiah finally kiss (he initiates it in the book, she does in the show - crucial distinction, obviously). She seems pretty decided about being with Jeremiah by morning, though the book keeps it more ambiguous. Conrad continues his campaign of making everyone uncomfortable, proving that being pre-med doesn't automatically make you emotionally mature.
Parental Apology Tour: Laurel apologizes to Belly for slapping her, then apologizes for being a "zombie" for four months while grieving her best friend. Belly faces exactly zero consequences for lying, partying, and destroying a house. We have thoughts about this parenting approach, and none of them are particularly charitable.
The Volleyball Subplot: Taylor spends both episodes trying to get Belly to volleyball camp like it's the most important thing in the world. Spoiler: Belly eventually goes, and the final scene features her playing volleyball while contemplating her uncertain but hopeful future. This entire subplot doesn't exist in the books because it doesn't need to.
Book vs. Show: The adaptation stays mostly faithful, with key differences including Aunt Julia's absence from the finale confrontation, Conrad having two finals to study for in the books (psych and biology instead of just biology), and who initiates the kiss between Belly and Jeremiah. The show's ending is less ambiguous about Belly's choice, while the book keeps readers guessing a bit more. Both end with Belly's line about the future being unclear but still hers.
Coming Up Next: We're diving into The Wrong Paris starring Miranda Cosgrove - a Netflix rom-com where someone confuses Paris, France with Paris, Texas for a dating show/art opportunity hybrid that makes absolutely no sense. The premise is older than dirt, the director's resume includes Irish Wish and various Hallmark Christmas movies, and the producer worked on House Hunters. This is going to be spectacularly bad, and we cannot wait.
Episode 84: The Map That Leads to You
Welcome to the beigiest movie we've ever covered, where nothing happens except a Hemingway novel, Victor's stolen cash, and KJ Apa sleeping in an overhead train bin. Join us as we follow Heather and Jack's European "find yourself" tour that's so surface-level it makes a puddle look deep.
What You're Getting Into: After meeting on a train (where Jack inexplicably decides the overhead luggage compartment is prime sleeping real estate), Heather and her friends embark on a European adventure fueled by questionable life choices and €5,000 of someone else's money. What follows is montages, philosophical platitudes about seizing the day, and a plot line so flat our hosts could literally graph it as a straight horizontal line.
Peak Dumpster Moments:
The AI Interlude: We kick off with a truly unhinged AI-generated episode description featuring Frosted Flakes, sobbing into soup over bad avocados, a mysterious character named Chris, and frozen yogurt as "the real daddy." The machines definitely aren't taking over anytime soon, but they're hilarious when they try.
Romance Update: Temu Sydney Sweeney meets bargain-basement Archie from Riverdale in what one reviewer called "zero chemistry" despite both being attractive separately. Their whirlwind European romance spans approximately two weeks and includes deep conversations about... well, we're still trying to figure that out.
The Eternal Question: Do Europeans ever come to America to find themselves at the world's largest ball of twine? We investigate this and other pressing matters, including whether any actor is truly irreplaceable (spoiler: Pauly Shore is), and why vertical iPhone filming might be destroying cinema.
What We Learned: This movie gets a perfectly mediocre 6.2/10 rating and features Josh Lucas (you know, discount Matthew McConaughey from Sweet Home Alabama), the same annoying train guitarist appearing throughout the entire film, and enough old-world European architecture to make you profoundly sad about modern construction standards.
The Verdict: Described by actual reviewers as "meh," "just boring," and "a postcard in search of a story," this film adaptation of J.P. Monager's novel proves that mediocre books become mediocre movies. The emotional plot arc is flatter than Kansas, and if you graphed the tension, you'd need exactly one straight line. At least the journal subplot had potential—too bad we barely see it.
Coming Up: We're wrapping up The Summer I Turned Pretty Season 2 with the final two episodes. One host is dreading it, the other has full Stockholm syndrome. Buckle up for the conclusion of the beach house saga and probably more Taylor Swift songs than anyone asked for.
Episode 83: The Summer I Turned Pretty S2E5-6
We're still drowning in Cousins Beach drama where the Fisher boys discover that trust funds require actual lawyers (shocking!), teenagers commit light breaking and entering at a country club, and someone thought spray-painting a soon-to-be-sold beach house was peak party energy.
What You're Getting Into: Aunt Julia pulls a speed-moving miracle and clears out the entire house while the kids are at the boardwalk, triggering a series of questionable decisions including: squatting at a country club overnight, fashioning an apple bong with random rich people weed, and throwing the kind of rager that would make any insurance adjuster weep.
Peak Dumpster Moments:
The Flashback Extravaganza: We get Jere's internal monologue for once (still boring), featuring: Thanksgiving dinner where he watches Conrad and Belly hold hands across the table, his bisexual prom date reveal, and Conrad asking permission to tell Belly he loves her. Because nothing says healthy relationships like requiring your brother's blessing.
Questionable Life Choices Corner: Conrad discovers he can consult a lawyer about accessing his trust fund early (groundbreaking!), while Belly gets uninvited from volleyball camp in a subplot that goes absolutely nowhere and matters to literally no one.
The Canape Deep Dive: We spend an unreasonable amount of time defining what exactly a canapé is (it's basically fancy bruschetta on a tiny toast, you're welcome), and ranking the worst types of hard liquor because why not?
Romance Update: Taylor and Steven finally make their move after he remembers her middle name (Madison - apparently the bar is on the floor), while Sky and Cam kiss with what our hosts describe as "a lot of teeth clanging." Meanwhile, Belly continues her tour of drunken emotional breakdowns, this time drunk-dialing her mom from a trashed house.
The Writer Cameo: Jenny Han herself appears briefly in the liquor store scene, presumably checking to make sure her source material is being properly butchered.
Coming Up: We tackle The Map That Leads to You, a Netflix romance featuring "throwaway actors nobody's heard of" (Scott's words) from Riverdale and Outer Banks. Expect European backdrops, shared trauma, and our hosts debating whether any actor is truly irreplaceable.
The Verdict: These episodes pick up the pace with actual party chaos, but still manage to drag with unnecessary flashbacks and a volleyball subplot that could've been cut entirely. At least we finally got some consequences... sort of. Aunt Julia's negotiating a one-week annual rental, which seems like the worst possible compromise for everyone involved.
Episode 82: Danielle Steel's "Daddy" (1991)
We dive into the soapy melodrama of 1991's "Daddy," where Patrick Duffy graces VHS covers in questionable states of undress, timeshares are apparently the worst financial decision you can make, and mysterious housekeeper Agnes materializes whenever someone needs to ask if anybody's hungry.
What You're Getting Into: Oliver Watson (Patrick Duffy) thinks he has the perfect family until his wife Sarah drops the bomb that she's leaving for graduate school in Michigan. What starts as pursuing her writing dreams quickly escalates to "I want to see other people" territory, leaving Oliver to single-parent three kids while everything spectacularly falls apart.
Peak Dumpster Moments:
The Agnes Mystery: We spend considerable time trying to figure out who the hell Agnes is, as this housekeeper appears out of nowhere asking "Anybody hungry?" with the timing of someone who definitely can't read a room.
Questionable Legal Advice Corner: Oliver's immediate response to teen pregnancy? "I'll pay for an abortion or we'll send her to one of those homes." For a movie called "Daddy" celebrating fatherhood, our supposed parental role model is surprisingly quick to suggest eliminating grandchildren.
90s Family Dysfunction: Between the toxic body image messaging ("If I eat anything, it will show"), the abandonment issues, and grandma getting hit by a bus, this family makes the Fishers from "Six Feet Under" look well-adjusted.
Christmas Tradition Tangent: We take a delightful detour to explain the organized, methodical gift-opening protocol that apparently no movie family has ever adopted, complete with clues, proper presentation, and strategic wrapping paper collection.
Romance Novel Evolution: A brief exploration of how Danielle Steel's relatively tame 1991 melodrama compares to modern romance novels, which have apparently evolved into "basically women's porn" according to current bestseller lists.
The Dad Sofa Experience: An extended meditation on the horrors of hospital "dad sofas" - those vinyl-covered torture devices that pass for furniture in maternity wards.
The Verdict: come listen to hear how man dumpsters we gave this schmaltzy soap opera that manages to be both incredibly earnest about family values and completely bonkers in its execution. Not the worst thing ever made, but definitely peak early-90s melodrama with enough unintentional comedy to keep you entertained.
Coming Up: We're heading back to Cousins Beach for more teenage angst and impossible timelines as we continue our Summer I Turned Pretty journey toward the series finale chaos that's apparently taking over the internet.
Episode 81: The Summer I Turned Pretty S2E3-4
We're back at Cousins Beach where apparently nobody understands basic estate planning, Junior Mint plushies carry the weight of metaphorical significance, and Aunt Julia has access to the world's most efficient moving crew.
What You're Getting Into: The beach house is up for sale because Susanna's half-sister Julia inherited it (somehow), leading to the most convoluted property ownership explanation since someone tried to explain timeshares. Meanwhile, Belly ping-pongs between flashbacks to her disastrous prom with Conrad and present-day bonding moments with Jeremiah that involve way too much awkward touching.
Peak Dumpster Moments:
The Great Deviation Discussion: Our resident book expert breaks down how the show has gone completely off the rails from the source material, introducing whole new characters and plotlines that don't exist in Jenny Han's books. Spoiler: Aunt Julia and Skye are 100% made-up TV drama.
Questionable Physics Corner: We dive deep into the aerodynamics of tandem go-karts, and why Skye is apparently day-trading Bitcoin as a minor. Because nothing says teenage summer drama like cryptocurrency speculation.
The Junior Mint Metaphor: Belly chooses a giraffe over Junior Mint at the arcade prize wall, which one of our hosts insists is a deep metaphor for the love triangle. The other host remains unconvinced that stuffed animals carry this much symbolic weight.
Coming Up: We escape to 1991 for some Danielle Steel melodrama with Patrick Duffy, because sometimes you need a shirtless Bobby Ewing holding a baby to cleanse the palate from teenage beach angst.
The Verdict: These episodes mark the turn toward peak cringe territory, featuring timeline inconsistencies, impossible logistics, and enough flashbacks to make your head spin. At least the Smashing Pumpkins song choice was solid.
Episode 80: Fire in the Sky (1993)
We've hit the big 8-0! To celebrate our octogenarian status in episode years, we're diving into alien abduction territory with DB Sweeney's post-ice skating career in Fire in the Sky. Based on the "true story" of Travis Walton's alleged five-day extraterrestrial vacation in 1975 Arizona.
What You're Getting Into: A logging crew witnesses their buddy Travis get zapped by a UFO and spend the rest of the movie trying to convince everyone they didn't just murder him and dump the body. Featuring James Garner as a detective who's seen it all, Robert Patrick (T-1000) with a magnificent 70s beard, and practical effects that look more Muppet than menacing.
Peak Dumpster Moments:
The Real Investigation: We dig into the actual Travis Walton story through interviews spanning decades, from 1980s couch confessions to Geraldo confrontations to Joe Rogan deep dives. Spoiler alert: the consistency is suspicious and the polygraph results are... complicated.
Philosophical Spiral Alert: What starts as alien skepticism somehow evolves into a full discussion of simulation theory, parallel universes, and whether we're all just NPCs in someone else's cosmic video game. Because apparently that's what happens when you put two people in a room to discuss extraterrestrial life.
The Verdict: A surprisingly decent watch that captures the 1970s lumberjack aesthetic perfectly, even if the aliens look like they wandered off the set of a community theater production. DB Sweeney continues his streak of being unexpectedly charming despite spending most of the movie either missing or catatonic.
Coming Up: Back to Cousins Beach for more teenage angst and questionable decision-making, because apparently we enjoy suffering.
Episode 79: The Summer I Turned Pretty Season 2 Episodes 1-2
We're back at Cousins Beach! Well, sort of. Join us as we dive into the messy aftermath of Season 1, where Belly's love triangle has officially imploded, Susanna has passed away, and everyone's dealing with grief in the most dramatic way possible.
What You're Getting Into: Belly's grades have tanked, she's been demoted from volleyball captain, and she's fallen asleep in French class (fitting, since this show makes about as much sense as The Hunger Games en français). Meanwhile, Steven's delivering the world's most plagiarized valedictorian speech while going viral on TikTok, because apparently "you are happening to the world" is peak inspirational content.
The Real Stars: A late-90s cover band featuring Milo, who thinks ripping his shirt off while butchering Lit makes him hardcore. We get treated to the worst renditions of "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" and "My Own Worst Enemy" ever committed to television. It's like watching a Buffy the Vampire Slayer Bronze performance, but somehow even more painful.
Peak Dumpster Moments:
Timeline Confusion Alert: We're bouncing between past and present faster than a tennis match, with color-toned flashbacks that are about as subtle as a brick to the face. Good luck keeping track of when anything actually happened.
The Verdict: This season manages to be even more depressing than Season 1, which we didn't think was possible. Between the melodramatic brooding, questionable decision-making, and enough teenage angst to power a small city, we're in for a wild ride.
Coming Up: More episodes of cousin drama, because apparently we hate ourselves. Fire in the Sky gets bumped for more Beach House shenanigans.
Warning: May cause spontaneous eye-rolling and an inexplicable craving for Auntie Anne's pretzels.
Join us for Episode 78 of Dumpsterpiece Theatre as we tackle 1973's "The Holy Mountain" - Alejandro Jodorowsky's fever dream masterpiece that makes Zardoz look like a Disney film. This is what happens when someone reads every philosophy book ever written, takes a lot of psychedelics, and decides to make a movie about it.
What You're Getting Into:
Scott drags Liz through two hours of avant-garde absurdity featuring more naked people than a European art museum, enough religious symbolism to confuse a seminary professor, and a plot that makes absolutely no sense until it breaks the fourth wall and tells you none of it mattered anyway. It's like being trapped in someone's very expensive college thesis project about enlightenment.
Fun Facts:
The Verdict:
Liz delivers a rare full 5-dumpster rating while questioning every life choice that led her to watch conquistador toads battle chameleons in elaborate costumes. Scott attempts to explain the deep symbolic meaning behind literal excrement-to-gold alchemy while Liz slowly loses her sanity.
If you've ever wondered what it's like to have your brain thoroughly scrambled by cinematic pretension disguised as spiritual enlightenment, this episode is for you. Fair warning: you may need a shower and a nap afterward.
Next Episode:
We're detoxing with "Fire in the Sky" - D.B. Sweeney gets allegedly abducted by aliens in 1993. After this week's journey, alien probing sounds downright relaxing.
Join us for Episode 77 of Dumpsterpiece Theatre as we wrap up Emily in Paris Season 2 - where champagne sabering goes horribly wrong, pregnant bosses eat their way through every scene, and fashion shows at Versailles somehow involve twerking in fancy underwear.
Key Moments:
Distance Watch Update: Alfie's "long distance" relationship from London clocks in at a whopping 2 hours and 18 minutes by train. If Hardin and Tessa can survive 38 minutes, anyone can make this work.
Is this season finale a masterpiece of romantic confusion? Absolutely not. Does it feature enough workplace drama, finger injuries, and questionable fashion choices to keep us entertained? Surprisingly, yes! The season earns points for commitment to chaos but loses them for making us sit through three episodes of Camille's manipulative scheming.
Next Episode: We're taking a wild detour into art house cinema with "The Holy Mountain" - a 1973 fever dream featuring characters named "The Chimpanzee" and "Bald Woman Two." Prepare for enlightenment, or at least confusion.
Join us for Episode 76 of Dumpsterpiece Theater as we fall back into the After universe with "After We Fell" - where a 38-minute drive counts as long distance, Bulgarian doctors deliver devastating medical news, and Hardin's tattoo collection looks like he lost a bet at a flash sheet convention.
Key Moments:
Is this movie a masterpiece? Absolutely not. Does it feature enough ridiculous plot twists and questionable medical advice to keep us entertained? Surprisingly, yes! The film earns points for commitment to chaos but loses them for the inexplicable 38-minute "long distance" relationship crisis.
Next Episode: We're wrapping up Emily in Paris Season 2 with champagne problems, fashion shows at Versailles, and Emily facing her biggest decision yet. Hold onto your berets!
Join us for Episode 75 of Dumpsterpiece Theater as we hit the slopes with "Chalet Girl" - where a fast-food worker becomes a snowboarding prodigy in just four months because apparently the transition from skateboard to switch rodeo 900s is "easy as pie."
Key Moments:
Bonus Content: A deep dive into switch rodeo 900 snowboarding techniques that reveals neither host has any business attempting winter sports, plus box office numbers showing this movie made a whopping $192 opening weekend in North America.
Trope Counter: Bumbling dad, passionate sports girl, gilded cage rich boy, naked freak-out, and approximately seventeen others we managed to spot.Is this movie a masterpiece? Absolutely not. Does it feature enough ridiculous British slang and Ed Westwick charm to keep us entertained? Surprisingly, yes! Scott gives it 2-2.5 dumpsters for decent scenery and Bill Nighy's excellence.
Next week: We're diving back into the After series with "After We Fell" - where Tessa makes the biggest decision of her life and we find out what happens after Hardin's daddy issues get even more complicated.
Join us for Episode 74 of Dumpsterpiece Theater as we boil over with Emily in Paris Season 2, Episodes 6 & 7 - where Emily's marketing genius strikes again and we somehow spiral into a dissertation on early 2000s indie music.
Key Moments:
Bonus Content: Scott provides an unexpected lecture on ramps (wild leeks), their connection to the constellation Aries, and why Pennsylvanians go absolutely feral during ramp season.
Is Emily's marketing getting any better? Absolutely not. Are we having way too much fun analyzing every ridiculous detail? Mais oui! Next week: we're hitting the slopes with "Chalet Girl" featuring Chuck Bass himself, Ed Westwick.
Join us for Episode 73 of Dumpsterpiece Theater as we wade through the lukewarm waters of "Love Across Time," a time-traveling romance so bland it makes beige look vibrant.
Key Moments:
Is it good? Not particularly. Is it a dumpsterpiece? Not quite - it's too unremarkable even for that distinction. This one earns a solid "double meh" rating for being neither entertainingly bad nor accidentally good.
Join us for Episode 72 of Dumpsterpiece Theater as we embark on an unexpectedly nostalgic journey through 2004's "Eurotrip," a raunch-com masterpiece that's somehow both terribly offensive and surprisingly clever.
Key Moments:
Is it good? Absolutely not. Is it a dumpsterpiece? Surprisingly, no - it's just a perfectly preserved time capsule of early 2000s comedy that couldn't be made today, for better or worse.
Join us as we dive into Emily in Paris S2 episodes 4-5, where our protagonist's terrible French skills take center stage alongside a hilariously awkward love triangle. Watch Emily dramatically return Gabrielle's cast iron pan while completely overreacting to the entire situation, all while Camille gives her the coldest French shoulder imaginable.
We detour into passionate debates about sparkling water (La Croix: "It doesn't taste like anything!"), explore the questionable "magic leek soup" diet (one leek in four quarts of water = weight loss miracle?), and investigate Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop empire. Plus, Emily's French class partner gets her to accidentally shoplift, someone writes the worst French letter in history, and we learn that Brussels sprouts are just "little balls of cabbage that need to be roasted in liters of olive oil to be edible."
From Emily's middle-school "pact" with Camille, to street performer turf wars featuring an aggressive mime, to Gabrielle's perfect hair (enjoy it while it lasts!), this episode delivers pure dumpster gold. As always, the tangents are better than the show itself!
We've emerged from our unplanned hiatus to tackle "The Duel" - where noodley-armed Dylan Sprouse and his Australian nemesis aim flintlock pistols at each other over a girl who can't decide which bro she wants!
Key Moments:
Is it worth 3.5 dumpsters? Maybe not, but we'll never look at Chili's the same way again.
Join us for Episode 69 (nice!) of Dumpsterpiece Theater as we dive into "Surprised by Oxford," a pretentious journey through the hallowed halls of academia. Based on a true story, this faith-finding romantic drama follows Rose Reid as she perfects the art of pushing everyone away while simultaneously stalking her Christian crush.
Key Moments:
Is it better or worse than "Finding You"? Let's just say Rose Reid was significantly more likable when she wasn't trying to philosophize her way through relationships.
We're back from our holiday break and diving into episodes 2 & 3 of Emily in Paris Season 2!
Join us as we follow Emily's misadventures in Saint-Tropez, from champagne-spraying shenanigans to an awkward run-in with Sylvie's mystery husband. Then things get messy back in Paris when Emily throws a birthday dinner party that ends with dramatic revelations, smashed champagne glasses, and a certain chef's omelet pan taking an unexpected swim. Plus, we discuss $6,400 hotel rooms, French labor laws, and why you should never let a French chef give you their cookware unless you're ready for the consequences.
Join us for a festive romp through Netflix's "Hot Frosty," where an anatomically correct snowman trades his icy existence for a shot at love! Watch as Lacey Chabert falls for a mysteriously shirtless stranger who can't handle hot pizza and has questionable credit card habits. Featuring Craig Robinson as an overzealous sheriff with a synthesizer, Joe Lo Truglio doling out dating advice, and a gaggle of thirsty seniors bringing new meaning to "winter heat wave." We break down everything from the suspicious CGI decorations and styrofoam snow to the medical documents written in what appears to be Comic Sans' quirky cousin, while pondering important questions like "Why doesn't anyone fix that furnace?" and "How does a snowman learn to Google?" Grab your strategically placed scarves and join us for this delightfully bizarre holiday romance that proves love can bloom even at sub-zero temperatures.