Kate and Rachel dig into the interview with psychotherapist Sarah Fishburn-Roberts, turning a rather theoretical interview into practical actions. Why should we expect to change? How can we change together? How can we have these hard conversations with each other without playing the blame game and getting defensive?
You are both going to change.
It’s not “you vs them.” Think of it as “us vs the pattern.”
Empathy is everything.
How to re-write your own script.
If you like Sarah, you can find her services here.
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
Today Kate and Rachel talk to psychotherapist Sarah Fishburn-Roberts to explore the distinctions and intersections between couples therapy, coaching and facilitation - and when to reach out for extra support.
(Spoiler alert - we all need it. And the practitioner you find is as important as the process you choose).
If you like Sarah, you can find her services here.
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
Using father’s mental health as a starting point, Dr Fisher emphasized that it is really the “family system” that requires our attention. Kate & Rachel love this, and devote today’s coaching edit to go deeper into what family system caretaking looks like.
He might not be fine, even if he says he is fine.
Everyone can, and does, experience trauma. Fertility issues and difficult births affect all parents.
It is not just about taking paternity leave, but HOW you take it.
It is never too late to rebuild your team. If something isn’t working, don’t give up. Bring in a new offensive coach and swap out your talent.
Kids can reinforce sexism, too! We need to be intentional about combatting stereotypes even with our own kids.
You can find more about Dr. Fisher’s work and practice here.
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
Pregnancy and birth should be all about mom, right? Well - no, not really. In this episode Kate and Rachel talk to Dr. Sheehan Fisher from Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine. Dr Fisher is a paternal mental health specialist - and agrees that mom’s health needs to be at the core of the conversation. But it’s good for ALL of us when we ALSO take into account dad’s health needs.
Dr Fisher is an Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. His research and clinical interests focus on father’s mental health during the perinatal period and their impact on the family dynamic and child outcomes. Dr Fisher’s research examines the hormonal and socio-environmental factors that contribute to the etiology of postpartum depression in fathers and mothers. In turn, the impact of paternal and maternal postpartum depression on parenting behaviors and infant/child outcomes is investigated. His clinical work specializes in behavioral therapies for fathers and couples during the perinatal period.
You can find more about Dr. Fisher’s work and practice here.
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
We’re told the UK has paternity leave, but the reality for families says otherwise. Kate and Rachel reflect on what George Gabriel, co-founder of the Dad Shift, shared about how outdated systems, mixed messages and cultural norms are holding dads back, and what that means for the emotional and practical load inside relationships. This is the truth behind paternity leave, and why change matters for every couple.
Here are some of the statistics we shared to help your personal business case for your paternity leave:
For organisations offering “paid family-leave” (which covers parental/paternity) more than 80% reported a positive impact on morale, and more than 70% reported increased productivity. Boston Consulting Group
80% of employees report they feel more committed to their employer when they have access to flexible family-friendly policies (including enhanced parental leave). Inspiring Dads
74% of employees said they were more likely to continue working for their employer.
43% of UK employers now offer enhanced parental leave and pay rates (i.e., above statutory minimums). Employee Benefits
The Dad Shift is just one of a number of organisations campaigning for better parental leave rights. Find out more, and support the work that all these incredible campaigns are doing. If we’ve missed any, do tell us!
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
Women are socialised throughout their lives to be a mother. Meanwhile most dads won’t hold a baby until it’s their own. 90% of dads want to be more involved in their children's lives but we’re still prioritising a mother’s relationship with their children over a dad’s. Insufficient paternity leave is having serious consequences for families, men’s mental health and our ability to feel like equal partnerships.
In today’s conversation, Rachel and Kate speak with George Gabriel, CEO and co-founder of The Dadshift, about the importance of paternity leave and the changing landscape of fatherhood. We explore the challenges faced by new fathers, the need for supportive policies, and the cultural narratives surrounding masculinity and fatherhood.
The Dad Shift is just one of a number of organisations campaigning for better parental leave rights. Find out more, and support the work that all these incredible campaigns are doing. If we’ve missed any, do tell us!
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
Kate & Rachel wallow in all the nuances around gate keeping… including personal reflection that we do it too! Many women have been socialized to believe that to be valuable, they must maintain power and knowledge of the home. But this isn’t a great receipt for equal-ish households. Instead, Kate & Rachel suggest….
There’s no pretty way to say this: gatekeepers need to do some self-reflection.
Look at your family’s roots. Where did you learn your patterns? Do you need a reboot?
We need to regularly and intentionally interrupt social patterns. Decide together what words will we use when we notice gatekeeping going on?
Remembering that your family is a system, which includes family, friends, providers, and neighbors. And they all might have a role in gatekeeping or gateopening.
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. And for just one more week, you can also be part of building Equal-ish! We have some great rewards for all levels of engagement, and multiple ways for you to get involved. Please help us grow Equal-ish and get this out to the thousands of parents that could benefit. Your support means the world to us, thank you: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcast
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
If the outcome you are seeking is equal partnership, why do mothers subconsciously put barriers up to it? Today Kate and Rachel talk “all things maternal gatekeeping” with Dr. Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan, who is a Professor of Psychology at The Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio. She is a nationally and internationally recognized expert on coparenting, father-child relationships, and the transition to parenthood.
Interested in learning more about Dr. Schoppe-Sullivan’s work? Find out more here.
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. And for one more week, you can also be part of building Equal-ish! Our crowdfunding campaign is live now! You've got 8 days left to grab yourself a pair of Equal-ish socks! Please help us grow Equal-ish and get this out to the thousands of parents that could benefit. Support today: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcast
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
In this episodes we tell you that that next we have Dr Sheehan Fisher talking about paternal mental health. That was the plan, but he's coming later in November now, first up we have George Gabriel from the Dad Shift.
Kate and Rachel dive into the Dr Allison Daminger interview to discuss how you can really share the cognitive labor. Listen now to hear our tips on how to
Want more language on the difference between cognitive labor, emotional labor, and the mental load? Check out this article by Kate.
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.
And for a short while, you can also be part of building Equal-ish! We have a crowdfunding campaign live for the next 2 weeks. We have some great rewards for all levels of engagement, and multiple ways for you to get involved. Please help us grow Equal-ish and get this out to the thousands of parents that could benefit. Your support means the world to us, thank you: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcast
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
The household divide is greater than we think it is. It’s so much more than the physical tasks - it’s all the thinking and feeling work that goes along with the physical work. And that is why we feel it so deeply; we have an emotional reaction to household labor because household tasks are far more than cooking and cleaning.
Kate and Rachel are joined this week by Dr. Allison Daminger, an assistant professor of sociology at UW-Madison and the author of the new book What's on Her Mind: The Mental Workload of Family Life. Her research focuses on how and why gender shapes family dynamics, particularly the division of work and power in couples.
In this conversation, Kate & Rachel ask Allison all about cognitive labor (a term, by the way, that SHE defined) particularly in the context of parenting and household responsibilities. This interview was perfectly timed, as Allison herself is a new mom and, with her partner, is working to put theory into practice.
Get your copy of What’s On Her Mind: https://www.allisondaminger.com/book
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. And for a short while, you can also be part of building Equal-ish! Our crowdfunding campaign is live now! We have some great rewards for all levels of engagement, and multiple ways for you to get involved. Please help us grow Equal-ish and get this out to the thousands of parents that could benefit. Support today: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcast
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
In this coaching edit, Kate and Rachel break down key themes from their interview with Marvyn.
Marvyn Harrison is the founder of Dope Black Dads, a globally recognised platform exploring fatherhood, masculinity and mental health and is shaping conversation around Black fatherhood and redefining modern masculinity.
The work starts with you… and continues with others
We need to acknowledge that society makes parenting hard for men
Focus on who you are NOW - not the PAST You
What are the economics of Equal Partnership
Is it boundaries or balance that you need?
To be a great parent, you need to be a PALS first. Listen to find out exactly what that means
Dad groups are new-ish! If you’re looking for one to join (or be inspired about starting your own) check out these existing groups:
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
Rachel and Kate are joined by Marvyn Harrison. Marvyn is the founder of Dope Black Dads, a globally recognised platform exploring fatherhood, masculinity and mental health and is shaping conversation around Black fatherhood and redefining modern masculinity. In today’s interview, Marvyn helps us all see the way that society closes gates for fathers… and what we can all do to change that.
Discover Marvyn's community: https://dopeblack.org/
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview, launching next week.
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
Last week, we interviewed Zach Watson. Zach is an invisible labour coach who helps men understand and share the mental load of domestic responsibilities with their partners. And his interview gave us great fodder for this week’s coaching edit.
Give yourself permission to fail.
What words would you actually use with your spouse / partner?
What to include in the weekly check-in.
Why are men motivated to be equal-ish at home?
How to find your people, and find support.
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
Are men choosing to ignore the mental load because they subconsciously still believe it is women’s work? Rachel and Kate try to answer that question with this week’s guest, Zach Watson.
Zach is a former middle school math teacher turned viral content creator and invisible labor coach for modern dads. Zach’s marriage nearly ended in 2018 because he was in default mode and letting his wife do it all. Now he talks very openly about how that happened, what he is doing to make changes, and why other men might be motivated to take household equality seriously.
Known for his honest, often hilarious take on the mental load in parenting, Zach speaks from real experience. And as a result now has over 120 million views and a growing community of ‘recovering man-children,’ through sharing his practical tools and relatable stories.
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.
Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
In this first Equal-ish coaching edit, we unpack our interview with Molly Millwood. We reflect on why today’s parents, especially mothers, are more stretched than ever, with full-time working mums spending more hours parenting now than stay-at-home mothers did in the 1970s. We explore how social norms around “good mothers” and “good fathers” create impossible standards, and why reframing the question “what does it mean to be a good parent?” can transform household dynamics.We dive head first into one of the biggest relationship challenges Molly sees in her work: emotional disconnect. Why do men report feeling emotionally affirmed twice as often as women, and how can couples bridge that gap?
Listen to hear some great practical coaching tips to build deeper emotional connection.
Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.
Read Brain Training: https://hbr.org/2023/11/how-paternity-leave-helps-dads-brains-adapt-to-parenting
Meet Kate & Rachel here: https://linktr.ee/equalish
Buy Molly’s book, To Have and To Hold today: https://www.mollymillwood.com/book
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who might need a little more equal-ish in their life.
Thank you,Rachel & Kate
In this conversation with psychologist and author of To Have and To Hold, Molly Millwood, we explore how reciprocity in relationships can feel so hard to achieve. We unpack with Molly the subtle ways women are socialized to give away power, why women’s “free time” so often includes caregiving, and how unequal dynamics impact both mothers and fathers. Together we reflect the hidden costs for men who disconnect from early fatherhood, and the damage relationships can suffer if these imbalances go unaddressed.
Meet Kate & Rachel here: https://linktr.ee/equalish
Buy Molly’s book, To Have and To Hold today: https://www.mollymillwood.com/book
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who might need a little more equal-ish in their life.
Thank you,
Rachel & Kate
In the inaugural episode of the Equalish podcast, meet hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs as we introduce our mission to help couples achieve a balanced household while navigating parenting and work.
In this episode, we explore
Meet Kate & Rachel here: https://linktr.ee/equalish
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who might need a little more equal-ish in their life.
Thank you,
Rachel & Kate x