In this episode of Everything Is Onions, Koko peels back one of the hardest truths we avoid: are you loving… or are you surviving?

So many of us think we’re choosing love when we’re really choosing familiarity, fear, and emotional muscle memory. This episode digs into the difference between being cared for and being conditioned to endure. Koko breaks down what survival-mode relationships look like, why Black women slip into them so easily, and how childhood patterns shape the way we show up in adulthood.

We talk communication styles (the healthy ones and the messy ones), emotional stalling, stonewalling, vulnerability, safety, and what “connection” actually means when you’re tired of fighting your way through love. With honesty, humor, and a touch of big-sister realness, this conversation feels like therapy with a laugh tucked in the middle.

If you’ve ever questioned whether you’re choosing partnership or just choosing someone who feels familiar… this episode is your sign to peel back another layer.