"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" is a proverbial phrase used to encourage optimism yet is subtly based on victimhood. We bring up the idea that we chose to enter into this incarnation knowing that we will forget that we chose to do so.  The reason for trauma could be to empathetically resolve karma or subconscious guilt.  If we see ourselves as choosing our events we can take self-responsibility to make better choices.