Tours & guidebook mentioned:
🔔 Venice Guidebook: Top things to see & more
🔔 Venice in a Day with Gondola Ride!!
🔔 Incredible Murano & Burano Tours
🔔 Tuscany day trip form Florence
If you are planning a trip and want to know the top things to see in Venice, this episode breaks everything down in simple terms. Sean and Brandon go through the biggest stereotypes, explain what is actually true, and lay out a clear list of what to do in Venice on a first visit. You get straightforward guidance on Saint Mark’s Basilica, Doge’s Palace, Murano and Burano, gondola rides, the Rialto area, and the neighborhoods that are worth wandering.
They cover timing, crowds, tours that help, tours you can skip, and the local food culture that surprises most visitors. You also hear why Venetians drink in the morning, how the city floods, and what a real bacaro looks like. Each section gives practical takeaways so listeners walk away remembering the essentials.
French People Arr Rude is produced by The Tour Guy, Europe’s top marketplace for tours and experiences in major cities.
For more details on all the stops mentioned, bookmark out guidebook article: Paris, France: the City of Lights
Tours Mentioned:
Sean and Brandon break down what to actually see in Paris and how to make the most of it. They talk about the city’s major sites, from Versailles and the Louvre to Montmartre and the Seine, explaining what’s worth booking ahead, when to visit, and what details most travelers miss. The episode mixes history and on-the-ground advice, with stories about Napoleon, Marie Antoinette, and the small quirks that make Paris unlike anywhere else.
Topics Covered:
• Paris myths and stereotypes• The truth about French manners and prices• Why Notre Dame, not the Eiffel Tower, is the real center of Paris• How to see Versailles without waiting in line• Best time of year to visit the gardens and Hall of Mirrors• The Louvre’s must-see artworks and skip-the-line tips• Eiffel Tower ticket advice and the best viewpoint for photos• Visiting Notre Dame and Île de la Cité after the restoration• Sainte-Chapelle and its stained glass at the right hour of sunlight• Highlights of the Musée d’Orsay and the Impressionists• Montmartre, Sacré-Cœur, and where to find the best sunset• The Latin Quarter, Pantheon, and the history buried below• Napoleon’s tomb at Les Invalides and France’s military legacy• The Seine River cruise and how to see Paris from the water• Bonus picks for art lovers, from Rodin to Monet’s water lilies
French People ARR. Rude is produced by The Tour Guy, Europe’s top marketplace for tours and experiences in all of Europe’s major cities.
Rome is one of the world’s greatest cities to visit, but knowing what’s actually worth your time can make or break your trip.
Bookmark the BEST guide to Rome here
Tours mentioned:
Sean and Brandon break down the absolute must-see sights in Rome, from the Vatican and Colosseum to the Borghese Gallery, the Pantheon, and the Catacombs. If you’ve ever wondered what’s actually worth your time, how long to spend at each spot, or when to visit to skip the crowds, this episode lays it out clearly. Between travel tips and a few running jokes about Rome’s stereotypes, like tourist-trap restaurants and overcrowded monuments, you’ll come away ready to plan a smooth, smart trip through the Eternal City.
Topics Covered:
The top sites in Rome and how to plan them over four or five days
Which attractions truly need a tour and which are great on your own
The best times of year and times of day to visit each site
How to avoid the classic tourist mistakes that waste your day
French People ARR. Rude is produced by The Tour Guy, Europe's leading marketplace for tours & experiences.
Sean and Brandon answer the internet’s most-asked questions about traveling Europe, from when to book to what’s a total myth. For more details & info about traveling to Europe, bookmark our guide: https://thetourguy.com/travel-blog/europe/europe-travel-faqs/
Tours Mentioned:
How far in advance should you plan your trip to Europe? Is tipping expected? Do Europeans really all wear tight clothes and drive tiny cars? In this hilarious and surprisingly useful episode of French People Arr. Rude, Sean and Brandon tackle Europe’s biggest travel myths; one stereotype at a time. From scams and skinny jeans to espresso culture and olive oil conspiracies, the guys break down what’s actually true, what’s totally blown out of proportion, and how to plan your dream European vacation without looking like a rookie.
What this episode covers:
Common myths about Europe (tight clothes, no AC, everyone drinks wine)
How early to plan your trip and when to book major sites
The truth about pickpockets, scams, and tipping etiquette
Air vs. train travel and whether you really need an international driver’s permit
The best cities for couples, families, and first-timers
Where to stay, what to skip, and why Italy might just “do it better”
French People ARR. Rude is producer by The Tour Guy, Europe's largest tour operator & market place offering the best tours and experiences throughout Europe.
Forget dry history books. The most gripping tales of the past involve the people who refused to leave.....
They cut off her head for killing her father but he had already killed her childhood. From Beatrice Cenci’s haunting in Rome to Anne Boleyn’s headless carriage rides through London, this episode dives into the darkest corners of Europe’s past, where tragedy refuses to rest in peace.
👉 For all show notes & recommendations
Tours mentioned in the podcast:
👉 Trastevere Local Food Tour 👉 Versailles Palace & Gardens Tour (from Paris)👉 Tower of London Legends and Lore Tour👉 Rome in a Day Tour
What this episode covers
Why so many “ghost stories” began as real historical events
The beheaded queen who still roams Versailles
Rome’s most infamous noblewoman, Beatrice Cenci
The Pope who was literally put on trial after death
From Nero’s cursed walnut tree to the Salem witch trials
Why haunting myths still fascinate us today
Chapters
00:00 Intro – History that won’t stay buried
03:00 Nero & the Cadaver Synod (Pope Formosus)
09:00 Ghost stereotypes & modern myths
18:00 Marie Antoinette’s specter at Versailles
26:00 Don Olympia & the haunted bridge of Rome
33:00 Anne Boleyn’s headless ride through London
42:00 Nero’s walnut tree and the Piazza del Popolo curse
49:00 Bloody Mary – the Queen who earned her nickname
55:00 Beatrice Cenci – Rome’s tragic ghost
01:05:00 The Salem Witch Trials and America’s own hauntings
French People ARR. Rude is produced and recorded by The Tour Guy; Europe's premiere tour company and marketplace. Visit www.thetourguy.com for more information.
Before tabloids or true crime podcasts, there were emperors, kings, and popes whose egos rewrote history—and whose insanity shaped it.
👉 For all show notes & recommendations
👉 Legend & Lore: Tower of London Tours
👉 Versailles Day trip from Paris 👉 Colosseum Underground Tours
In this episode of French People Are Rude, Brandon and Sean dive into the wildest rulers history ever produced. From Popes who poisoned dinner guests to emperors who thought they were gods.
Meet the “hosts” of our imaginary awards show: Caligula and Henry VIII, celebrating the megalomaniacs who built empires, waged holy wars, and indulged in absolute madness.
This is the episode where you’ll walk away knowing:
Absolute power doesn’t just corrupt—it makes people invent new ways to go insane.
History’s wildest stories aren’t myths; they’re just old headlines.
“Drunk with power” used to be literal.
Welcome to French People Are Rude, where history is stranger (and bloodier) than fiction. Produced by The Tour Guy, Europe's leading tour & experience marketplace.
Hidden Fortresses, Stolen Masterpieces, and Ghostly Legends
Before it became the world’s most visited museum, the Louvre was a fortress, a palace, and if legends are true, home to a murderous ghost in red!
👉 For all show notes & recommendations
Tours mentioned in the podcast:
👉 The BEST Louvre Tours👉 Versailles Tours without the hassle👉 Paris in a Day Tour
So what are the secrets of the Louvre that most visitors miss?
In this episode, Sean and Brandon uncover the unbelievable true stories behind the world’s most famous museum—from the medieval fortress buried in its basement to the daring curator who smuggled 4,000 paintings out of Nazi-occupied Paris. You’ll learn how Napoleon crowned himself emperor in front of a captive pope, why the pyramid sparked satanic rumors, and how Catherine de’ Medici’s hitman might still haunt the Tuileries Gardens.
This is the episode where Uncle Bob walks away knowing:
The Louvre opened in 1793—during the Reign of Terror
Thousands of artworks were hidden before the Nazis arrived
The glass pyramid has 673, not 666, panes of glass
Catherine de’ Medici’s ghostly “Red Man” still stalks the gardens
The Mona Lisa only became famous after being stolen
Produced by The Tour Guy, Europe's leading tour experience marketplace.
How the Eternal City Fell to the Barbarians
Rome was supposed to last forever. For 800 years, no enemy breached her walls—until 410 A.D., when the Visigoths stormed the Eternal City and shattered the myth of Roman invincibility.
👉 For all show notes & recommendations
Tours mentioned in this podcast:
👉 Rome in a Day Tour👉 Borghese Gallery Tour👉 Pompeii, Positano & Amalfi Coast Day Trip from Rome
So how did the world’s greatest empire collapse?
In this episode, we bust the myths about the “fall” of Rome (it didn’t happen in one day), dig into why a million-strong city dwindled to 20,000 starving survivors, and explain how famine, betrayal, and migration cracked the strongest empire the West had ever seen. From Alaric’s sack of Rome to the Vandals who gave us the word “vandalism,” we trace how the Eternal City became a ghost of itself—while the Eastern Empire lived on.
Why did Roman soldiers abandon their posts? Why did a slave open the gates to the barbarians? And how did Europe plunge into a thousand years of darkness after centuries of aqueducts, armies, and emperors?
This is the episode where Uncle Bob walks away knowing:
The “fall” of Rome was a slow unraveling, not a single battle.
The Visigoths were Christians too—they spared the churches.
Honorius, the emperor, wasn’t even in Rome when it fell.
Rome’s collapse left Europe in chaos for a millennium.
The Locksmith King Who Lost His Head
Before revolutions toppled monarchies, Louis XVI was the last absolute ruler of France—more interested in hunting and tinkering with locks than governing. His indecision, debt, and disastrous choices helped spark the French Revolution—and ended at the guillotine.
👉 For all show notes & recommendations
👉 Versailles Palace & Gardens Tour
👉 Louvre Museum Skip-the-Line Tour
So who was Louis XVI really?
In this episode, we cut through the myths and stereotypes to uncover the king behind the crown. Was he truly the incompetent ruler history remembers; or just an unlucky monarch trapped in a collapsing system? We’ll trace his marriage to Marie Antoinette, his obsession with locks, France’s costly support of the American Revolution, and the storming of the Bastille that sealed his fate.
From fake finance reports to bread riots, Versailles fantasies to a failed midnight escape, this is the story of how Louis XVI stumbled into one of history’s most infamous beheadings—and how his downfall paved the way for Napoleon.
What this episode covers:
Who was Louis XVI of France?
The marriage of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette
How France’s role in the American Revolution led to bankruptcy
The storming of the Bastille and the French Revolution explained
Versailles Palace, Marie Antoinette’s Hamlet, and life at court
The guillotine and the fall of the French monarchy
The Sun King, Megalomaniac, and Versailles Builder
Before Napoleon or Marie Antoinette, there was Louis XIV, the Sun King, the longest-reigning monarch in European history, who turned France into a cultural powerhouse while bankrupting it with his obsession for power, mirrors, and gardens.
👉 For all show notes & recommendations
👉 Skip-the-Line Versailles & Gardens Tour
👉 The best Paris Tours
So who was Louis XIV really?
In this episode, we dive into the outrageous life of the “Sun King,” a man who made nobles fight for the right to put on his underwear, staged banquets just to be watched eating alone, and built Versailles by draining 25% of France’s annual income. From traumatized child-king to legendary megalomaniac, Louis XIV centralized power, reshaped France, and left behind a palace that changed how the world thinks about luxury—even if it meant his heirs would lose their heads.
Chapters:
Louis XIV’s wild stereotypes (yes, people watched him get dressed)
Versailles: from hunting lodge to the world’s biggest palace
Why Versailles bankrupted France (mirrors > warships)
The Sun King’s daily rituals and bizarre ceremonies
Gardens, fountains, and the birth of the modern lawn
Life at Versailles: courtiers, courtesans, and chamber pots
Was Louis XIV a “good” king—or just a legend of excess?
Genius, Bastard, Tinkerer
Before Elon Musk, before Steve Jobs there was Leonardo da Vinci. Painter, engineer, dissector of corpses, and full-time procrastinator who dreamed up flying machines centuries before the Wright brothers.
👉 For all show notes & extras
So who was Leonardo da Vinci really?
In this episode, we cut through the myths and get into the messy reality of the Renaissance’s most famous polymath. From being born illegitimate in Tuscany to becoming the toast of Milan and France, Leonardo’s life was anything but simple. He sketched helicopters that couldn’t fly, invented war machines that couldn’t be built, and painted the Mona Lisa, then carried it around for decades like a security blanket.
Along the way, we explore:
Why da Vinci left most of his projects unfinished
How his rivalry with Michelangelo shaped both their careers
The Last Supper’s hidden details (and why it started flaking within 20 years)
Why he may have put Judas on the same side of the table as Jesus
How a Florentine silk merchant’s commission became the world’s most famous painting
Welcome to French People Are Rude, where we make history fun, irreverent, and just a little inappropriate. By the end of this episode, even Uncle Bob will walk away knowing that da Vinci was brilliant, eccentric, and more human than legend makes him out to be.
How One Family Shaped the Renaissance
Who were the Medici? The Medici family was the most powerful dynasty of Renaissance Florence—wealthy bankers, shrewd politicians, and legendary patrons of the arts. Their story is the history of Florence itself: a tale of power, money, religion, and culture that changed Europe forever.
👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 Book the best Florence tours
In this episode, we explore the rise of the Medici family: how they built a banking empire, financed the Vatican, and sponsored artists like Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and Botticelli. From political assassinations inside churches to throwing wedding feasts with 5,000 pounds of pastries, the Medici legacy is as dramatic as any TV series—except this one’s real.
History of the Medici: Chapters
Who Were the Medici? – The story of the Medici family explained
The Medici and the Vatican – How Medici bankers financed popes and shaped religion
The Medici and the Renaissance – From Brunelleschi’s dome to Michelangelo’s David, the art that defined Florence
Lorenzo the Magnificent – The Medici prince who ruled Florence like a king
From Popes to Power Struggles – The Medici popes and the spark of the Protestant Reformation
The Medici Legacy – Why the history of the Medici dynasty still matters today
Before Napoleon, there was Julius Caesar—Rome’s most ambitious leader, part brilliant politician, part ruthless general, and part gambler who reshaped history while making just as many enemies as allies.
👉 For all show notes & recommendations
Tours mentioned in the podcast:
👉 Rome in a Day Tour
👉 Pompeii, Positano, Amalfi Coast Day Trip from Rome
👉 Vatican After-Hours Small Group Tour
So who was Julius Caesar really?
In this episode, we bust the myths (no, the Caesar salad isn’t named after him), explore how he went from broke aristocrat to Rome’s most feared general, and unpack why his assassination didn’t save the Republic, it destroyed it. From staging gladiator games with silver-armored fighters to crossing the Rubicon and seizing Rome without a fight, Caesar was a man who risked everything for power.
What this episode covers:
Why Caesar measured himself against Alexander the Great (and thought he came up short).
How debt, politics, and ambition drove him into war in Gaul.
What really happened with Cleopatra?
How his reforms packed the Senate with his loyalists before it turned on him.
If you think Caesar was just a guy in a toga who got stabbed, this episode will make you see him as the man who set the stage for the Roman Empire.
The Crusades: Holy Wars, Greed, and Medieval Chaos
Before Game of Thrones, before Indiana Jones, there were the Crusades—two centuries of brutal wars where religion, money, and power collided in the bloodiest road trip in history.
👉 For all show notes & recommendations
Tours mentioned in the podcast:👉 Rome in a Day Tour👉 Pompeii, Positano, Amalfi Coast Day Trip from Rome👉 Secrets of the Louvre Tour
So what were the Crusades really about?
In this episode, we bust the myths (no, it wasn’t a single war for the Holy Grail), unpack why 600,000 Europeans marched east only for 30,000 to arrive, and dig into the messy politics behind “God’s will.” From the Children’s Crusade to the Fourth Crusade that attacked the wrong city entirely, this is the story of knights, greed, and chaos disguised as piety.
Why did the Pope promise a free pass to heaven for killing in God’s name? Why did armies starve before they even reached the Holy Land? And how did Europe’s “dark ages” clash with the Muslim world’s golden era?
This is the episode where Uncle Bob walks away knowing:
The Crusades weren’t one war—they were nine, spread over 200 years
Religion was the excuse, but greed and politics were the real motives
The infamous Children’s Crusade actually happened—and ended in disaster
Europe was a cultural backwater compared to the Muslim world at the time
We also get into:
Why knights were usually “second sons” with nothing to lose
How Muslim armies outmaneuvered Europeans with lighter armor and horses
Why Frederick II won Jerusalem without a single battle
How the Black Plague ended the Crusading era for good
If you think the Crusades were just holy wars, this episode will make you rethink everything you thought you knew—and maybe see a thousand-year-old conflict in a new light.
Michelangelo: Sculptor, Rebel, Reluctant Painter
Before Banksy or Basquiat, there was Michelangelo—part artist, part engineer, part stubborn workaholic who changed the course of art history while insulting half his peers.
👉 For all show notes & recommendations
Tours mentioned in the podcast:👉 Rome in a Day Tour
👉 Pompeii, Positano, Amalfi Coast Day Trip from Rome
👉 Vatican After-Hours Small Group Tour
So who was Michelangelo really?
In this episode, we bust the myths (no, he didn’t paint the Sistine Chapel lying down), explore his rivalries with Leonardo and Raphael, and unpack why the guy who hated painting created two of the most famous paintings in history. From dissecting corpses in secret to carving David out of “useless” marble, this is the life of a man who worked alone, made enemies, and refused to compromise.
Why did he sign only one sculpture? Why was he obsessed with making both sides perfect— even the side no one would see? And what would Michelangelo think about AI art?
This is the episode where Uncle Bob walks away knowing:
Michelangelo considered himself a sculptor, not a painter
The Pietà was made when he was just 24—and it’s the only work he signed
David came from a block of marble other artists rejected
The Sistine Chapel ceiling nearly blinded him after 4 years of work
We also get into:
How illegal dissections gave him unmatched anatomical accuracy
Why the Last Judgment hid a 400-year-old “told you so” to his critics
What it was like to live and work with the Medici family as a teen
Why he had no apprentices—ever—and left no “Michelangelo school” behind
If you think Renaissance art is boring, this episode will change your mind—and maybe make you side-eye every ceiling you walk under.
The ultimate guide to planning a ski trip in Europe without overpaying, overpacking, or overdressing, plus how to actually enjoy après ski like a local.
👉 For all show notes & extras: https://thetourguy.com/travel-blog/europe/best-winter-resorts-for-europe-ski-holidays/
American skiing has become a bloated, expensive, beer-flavored disappointment. Meanwhile in Europe, you can ski from Switzerland into Italy, drink champagne on the slopes, and dance in your boots by 4pm. And somehow spend less doing it.
We break down:– Where to go: Zermatt, Chamonix, Cortina, and more– What time of year to go (and when to avoid)– How to pick the right airport—and why direct flights matter– Whether to rent gear or bring your own (spoiler: leave the skis)– Why hotels beat Airbnbs in the Alps (and what to book by September)– What to pack for a stylish, functional ski trip– The secrets of hiring a mountain guide (and how they’ll save your life)– And why après ski is better than actual skiing
Chapter Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro & Banter02:30 – Skiing in Europe: Stigmas14:10 – Best time to ski in Europe17:00 – Airports & Flights for European resorts22:30 – Where to Stay at European ski resorts 28:00 – Booking Tips34:00 – Packing & Gear38:20 – Ski Guides & Final Tips
Whether you're a powder snob or a first-timer with ski anxiety, this episode will change how you think about skiing forever.
.....And possibly ruin Vail for you.
🎧 Subscribe and check out our other episodes on how to travel Europe without being a tourist.
📍 Learn more at www.TheTourGuy.com for the best tours of Rome, Florence, and beyond!
What Was Life Like in Ancient Rome?
Before apps, cars, or central heating, Romans built cities, ran businesses, and complained about taxes.
👉 For all show notes & recommendations
👉 Book the best Rome tours
So what was daily life actually like in ancient Rome?
In this episode, we break down Roman stereotypes (like orgies and toga parties), explain who had power (spoiler: not you), and explore how class, work, and leisure shaped the Roman world. From the lives of slaves and plebeians to patricians and emperors, we draw modern parallels to help make sense of it all.
Did the rich really eat lying down? Why was going to the bathroom a networking event? And could a freed slave become richer than a noble?
This is the episode where Uncle Bob walks away knowing:
Not all Romans wore togas—just the rich ones
“Bread and circuses” wasn’t a metaphor, it was crowd control
The Roman military was the only ladder out of poverty (and it was still a dead-end)
Emperors either ruled the world or got stabbed by their bodyguards
We also get into:
Why top-floor apartments sucked
How Roman social media was literally just poetry read at dinner
What Denzel has to do with casting Roman movies
If you think ancient Rome is boring, this episode will change your mind and maybe ruin your next wine and cheese night.
Who was Caravaggio? A Baroque painter, a violent fugitive, and the original master of darkness.
👉 For all show notes & extras
Before Banksy. Before Basquiat. There was Caravaggio—a violent, brilliant, deeply troubled painter who changed the course of art history with nothing but a paintbrush, a bad attitude, and a body count. If you’ve ever wondered how a murderer became the Catholic Church’s favorite artist, this one’s for you.
Welcome to French People Are Rude, the podcast where we turn history and travel into wild stories and inappropriate laughs. In this episode, we dive deep into the chaotic life and revolutionary art of Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio, the original bad boy of the Baroque era.
Born in 1571 and dead by 38, Caravaggio was a painter, fugitive, and full-blown disaster of a human. He painted saints using prostitutes as models, carried a sword, and literally murdered a guy over a tennis match. All while creating some of the most dramatic, shadow-drenched paintings Europe has ever seen.
We break down:
Why Caravaggio’s chiaroscuro style changed Western art forever
How this violent, broke, probably high painter became a favorite of cardinals and nobles
Why he used homeless people and criminals as models—and got banned for it
How he fled Rome after a murder and still made masterpieces in exile
His darkest painting, David with the Head of Goliath—a self-portrait as a decapitated corpse
Where to see Caravaggio paintings in Rome, Paris, Florence, New York, and even Texas
Whether you’re into art history, juicy scandal, or just love a good fall-from-grace story, this episode is your wild ride through sex, violence, and Vatican-funded art.
🎧 Subscribe and check out our other episodes on Europe’s wildest characters.
📍 Learn more at TheTourGuy.com for the best tours of Rome, Florence, and beyond.
#Caravaggio #ArtHistoryPodcast #Chiaroscuro #BaroqueArt #HistoryUnfiltered #RomeTravel #TheTourGuy #FrenchPeopleAreRude #DarkArtists #TrueStory #VaticanArt #MichelangeloMerisi
Colosseum: Gladiator Myths, Stone Blocks, and Rome’s Biggest PR Move
👉 For all show notes & extras
👉 Book a Colosseum tour (underground and arena access available)
In this episode of French People Arr. Rude, Sean and Brandon take a chisel to the biggest stereotypes about the Colosseum. Was it just a place for gladiator battles? Did people really get fed to lions? And who were these so-called gladiators, anyway?
They unpack the truth behind Rome’s most famous monument—starting with why it was built, the materials and methods used to construct it, and how it functioned as both entertainment and empire-building. You’ll hear about what the games were actually like, who got to fight, and why the Colosseum went through long stretches of being totally unused.
What We Cover in This Episode
Common misconceptions about the Colosseum
Who commissioned it and how it replaced Nero’s palace
What materials were used and how long it took to build
What the games were like (spoiler: more than just gladiators)
Who the gladiators actually were (and who they weren’t)
Why the Colosseum sat empty during certain periods
👉 For all show notes & recommendations
👉 Book the best Rome tours
Rome might be eternal, but it didn’t start pretty. In this episode, Sean and Brandon walk through the real timeline of ancient Rome—from the myth of a wolf-raised twin to the bloody end of Julius Caesar and the empire that followed.
You’ll hear about Romulus and Remus (and which one got murdered), the sketchy kings who ruled before the Republic, and how the Roman Senate became both powerful and completely useless. The guys cover the rise of dictators, civil wars, and why Julius Caesar basically broke the Roman government forever. Then comes the Empire: Augustus’ PR genius, Nero’s unhinged reign, and the slow collapse of everything Rome built.
It’s a no-BS guide to Rome’s full arc—legend, monarchy, republic, empire, and downfall—all in one fast-paced episode.
✨ Stuff We Talk About:
The Romulus & Remus origin story (and its wild symbolism)
Seven kings, one sewer, and a lot of violence
The Roman Republic and how it unraveled
Julius Caesar’s rise and assassination
The Roman Empire: good emperors, bad emperors, then no emperors