The lost finale! When we recorded this one, all three of us lived in Seattle. But now we're scattered about the country. For the six of you who care, here's our (final?) episode. Come for the Wheeler hate, stay for one host's literal blackout -- at ~42:50. If you're still reading this, we adore you, and thanks very much for indulging this little frolic.

Looten Plunder wants to murder elephants, but the Planeteers aren't having it. Let's all put an end to poaching, sing Diane Warren songs, talk about James Coburn's sex appeal, and debate whether Captain Planet possesses object permanence.

Zarm (Sting!) is an interstellar baddie with a secret past. Oh, and he's got some seductive swag for the kiddos: Nintendo Power Gloves of conquest! We discuss the coolest way to tuck in a t-shirt, recall our asteroid-related fears, chat about music, and wonder whether Gaia has a connection to Polgara the Sorceress.

Happy New Year from Gaia's Gang! We're back to marvel over another kick-ass villain (Meg Ryan, y'all), reflect on the virtues of compostable straws, wonder at what constitutes a "lifetime supply" of anything, and recount our letter-writing campaign wins.

We're back! But so is Verminous Skumm. Let's correct the record on dragons, accidentally provoke PETA, recall the ickier side of Zack Morris, and find out whether rats really like cheese. Oh, and remember when Oprah bested Big Beef? All that, AND we save the rainforest. Sort of.

The Planeteers jet to Thailand to stop Hoggish Greedly and his . . . dragon? Meanwhile, we correct the record from episode two, take some listener feedback, rant a lot, and recall a student council campaign from the days of yore.

Verminous Skumm is up to no good, and Ma-Ti is stressing because he's the littlest Planeteer. We help him through it, and discuss the Clean Air Act, too!

Come for the cartoon-induced nostalgia, stay for our review of the myriad merits of a certain blue dish soap. Gaia (Mother Earth) wakes from a hundred-year nap and finds her planet in peril. So she summons five elemental rings and five youths to wield them. They're just in time -- Hoggish Greedly is on the march, he's out to steal some oil, and he's gonna wreck a wildlife refuge while he's at it. And look out, Cap, he's got a toxic waste gun! Because that's a thing!