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Jen and Tim enlist Bitter Karella to attempt a close read of the un-close-read-able, the inscrutably weird A Karate Christmas Miracle.
Errata: Jen identifies Kenneth del Vecchio as the director of the film (he merely wrote the script, produced, and played the pivotal role of Bob Genesis). Also Jen doesn't seem to be clear on the nature of a miracle, but forgive her— she's a slave to empiricism.
Want more del Vecchio?! Of course you do!!! Don't miss the trailer for the confusingly named O.B.A.M. Nude, which appears to be the Faust story as made by someone who had his brain cooked by Newsmax. Stunning effects!
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Oh my god, someone watched this? Merely an obscure channel, B-Movie TV. Oh no, someone archived the sexy clown show? No Tim. The Roku. Bitter Karella, no.
Well, what is a clown? Is he life? Is he a clown show? Would you enjoy a clown show? Wanna see?
Pervy no. Why? Does he make you laugh? Why? Does he bring a lighter smile to your face? Pervy, no. KinkyCandy(s), no one’s harlequin. Wanna see what someone locked away?
NO
PERVY
Oh you don’t do clowns, huh? Why? Well, no one’s doing this clown, either.
NO PERVY
Oh my god, someone watched the nun and the couple. Why? Does he make the world?
Pervy
NO
Would you forget this??! When you archived the sexy clown show? Why? That lovable irritant locked away, that horn safely locked away with the whipped cream. Pervy no. Or do you look at him with loathing? You mean your why? Pervy no. Pervy no. No Pervy. Does he make you look deeply into the laugh? Look at him. Why? Don’t honk. Your dog taught me. Your dog? Whipped cream on a nun.
When you look deeply. The sadness is there under the makeup
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Tim and Jen host Rifftrax writer Sean Thomason to watch the unwatchable: an ancient kiddie flick filled with air and B-roll, Fun in Balloon Land. Jen also pitches her idea for a new, horrible subgenre, named after the director of the similarly horrible Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny: Mahoncore!
The Rifftrax version of Fun in Balloon Land goes down much easier than the unadorned version, plus you’ll be helping pay Sean’s salary. You can also bug Sean over at Bluesky— tell him the chuckleheads at Have You Seen This? sent you!
Get yourself a copy of the Krazee Kidz Video Party blu-ray from Vinegar Syndrome— they’re flying off the shelves!
The Akron Beacon Journal has a throwback account of the 1973 balloon parade that went so very, very wrong. Great job, Giant Balloon Parades Inc.
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Jen and Tim brave the harsh California desert in search of a truly obscure female-focused vampire chiller, The Velvet Vampire!
Watch The Velvet Vampire on Shudder, and accept no substitutes! This is the best version of the film currently available, as the most recent blu-ray release is extremely difficult to find.
No joke, if you know where we can get a copy of this exact Shout Factory edition of The Velvet Vampire blu-ray for a reasonable (or at most mildly unreasonable) price, please let us know.
Read an exhaustive interview with Stephanie Rothman covering her entire life and career as a filmmaker, courtesy of the UCLA Center for Oral History Research.
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Tim and Jen reach deep into the spooky season remainder bin and pull out one of the better shot-on-video horror movies…but regular listeners know just how low that bar can really go.
Video Violence filmmaker Gary P. Cohen has a website!
Forbes has the rundown on the guy who got banned for like two seconds for posting one of the worst things you can find online.
Want more shot-on-video horror? We’ve talked about some of the hard(est to watch) stuff— check out our SOV episode collection!
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Jen and Tim look back at “the Cybertruck of prestige novel adaptations,” Kenneth Branagh’s Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein!
Most of this interview with Frank Darabont is about The Shawshank Redemption, but at the tail end he gives his unvarnished thoughts on what a hash Branagh made of his screenplay for Frankenstein.
“That movie was his vision entirely. If you love that movie you can throw all your roses at Ken Branagh’s feet. If you hated it, throw your spears there too, because that was his movie.”
-Frank Darabont
Branagh spoke in-depth about the film with a pre-cancellation Charlie Rose, if you’re interested in hearing him explain himself.
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Tim and Jen haze Bitter Karella over her inexplicable defense of a Halloween-themed anthology film, Trick 'r Treat!
As of 2024, filmmaker Michael Dougherty is threatening a sequel to Trick 'r Treat. Be still my heart.
See What's Your Problem? (What is Wrong With You?), one of Jen's favorite pieces of public television ephemera.
Want a horror anthology that's actually good? Check out our episode on Ghost Stories!
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Jen welcomes back Julie (chimericalgirl.bsky.social) to discuss a criminally underseen coming-of-age film directed by Adrian Lyne, Foxes.
Read an interview with Kandice Stroh, in which she talks in detail about playing the part of Deirdre in the film.
"I learned it from watching you!"
Watch a 2003 documentary on the Camarillo State Hospital, which was made shortly before its closure. The grounds now make up California State University, Channel Islands.
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Tim and Jen aren’t scandalized by infamous teen gross-out comedy Porky’s, it just kind of makes them scratch their heads.
Someone compiled every Siskel and Ebert review of a Bob Clark film from Murder By Decree to one we actually covered on the show, Loose Cannons. Only the Judd Nelson-starring From the Hip is missing. Maybe they didn’t bother.
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Jen and Tim invite Patrick Cosmos back to the show to discuss the woeful sequel to Rock ’n’ Roll High School! Please drop us a line at info@haveyouseen.us if you understand the refrigerator bit.
Filmmaker Adan Gonzales obviously produced Forever: The Untold Story of Rock ’n’ Roll High School Forever as a labor of love, and audio issues aside, it’s a charming look at a movie that I guess some people really like! If you grew up listening to nu-metal and watching Pauly Shore comedies, check out the rest of his YouTube channel as well.
The LA Times has the rundown on the fairly disastrous debut of Feldman’s self-produced documentary My Truth: The Rape of 2 Coreys.
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Tim and Jen welcome Chris Person of the Aftermath website to discuss John Waters’s favorite film, Joseph Losey’s big swing at Tennessee William’s first flop, Boom!
We highly recommend the worker-owned and reader-supported Aftermath, especially this incredibly detailed and helpful article about specialized industrial cleaners (well, Jen really liked it). Listeners may also enjoy this conversation between Chris and friend of the show David J. Roth about archiving overlooked film and television.
Richard Burton gets candid about his upbringing in a coal-mining family in Wales in thisDick Cavett interview.
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Jen and Tim get around to a cute cult film about exploitation and capitalism, Josie and the Pussycats!
Get Russ Burlingame’s love letter to the film, Best Movie Ever! for 30% off with discount code SEENTHIS over at JosieBook.com! This comprehensive oral history of the film covers the beloved source comic, the production of the film, and the fierce devotion it inspired and continues to inspire in fans.
The reason Jen couldn’t find anything up-to-date on the lawsuit against Rosario Dawson is because it was dismissed in 2021.
It’s true, Archie really did meet the Punisher. They should invite him to appear on the Riverdale TV show.
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Tim and Jen host the freakiest guest they know, the lovable Bitter Karella of Midnight Pals fame, to chat about one of the freakiest movies she knows, Dr. Caligari!
Screen Anarchy has a wonderful gallery of Caligari director Stephen Sayadian’s work,going all the way back to his earliest days as an editorial illustrator. Included are some reminisces about Dr. Caligari!
Read a 2024 interview with Caligari co-writer Jerry Stahl, in which he speaks candidly about sobriety and being an artist in a world ruled by money.
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Jen and Tim unearth one of the most famous unproduced screenplays of all time, Clair Noto's dark sci-fi tale The Tourist.
Read the Clair Noto interview that reminded Jen that this screenplay exists!
Read the screenplay itself at the Internet Archive— highly recommended
.
You can watch the BBC Moving Pictures segment on The Tourist, featuring the screenwriter herself, on YouTube.
See more of Giger's concept art for The Tourist at the charmingly Web 1.0 official Giger website.
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Tim and Jen experience a stodgy treatment of Hollywood avarice, The Oscar.
Friend of the show Josh Olson does indeed appreciate the corniness of this movie— so much so that you can hear him join comedian Patton Oswalt and filmmaker Erik Nelson for the audio commentary on the Kino Lorber blu-ray!
If you’re dying to read an academic paper on The Oscar, have at it.
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Jen and Tim unearth a cursed relic: the television show cancelled before the final credits even rolled, Turn On!
Thank you, SoapsNThings on YouTube, for archiving so many episodes of Peyton Place.
The offensive Aussie show Jen alluded to that also got cancelled during the first episode was "Australia's Naughtiest Home Videos." You can see the singular episode at the Internet Archive!
Finally, Gershon Kingsley's "Popcorn" is kind of a bop.
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Tim and Jen ride along with a taciturn Ryan O'Neal for Walter Hill's sinuous neo-noir, The Driver!
Walter Hill spoke with Deadline in 2024 about his influences, Tony Scott's idiot brother, and of course, westerns.
Hill also talked about the controversy surrounding The Warriors in an interview for Esquire:
I think the reason why there were some violent incidents is really very simple: The movie was very popular with the street gangs, especially young men, a lot of whom had very strong feelings about each other. And suddenly they all went to the movies together!
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Jen and Tim examine some D-tier David Mamet: the by-the-numbers heist flick, uh, Heist.
Chris Person of the worker-owned tech news site Aftermath dug up the previously unavailable special Ricky Jay and His 52 Assistants in pristine broadcast resolution and made it available to the world once again. Read an interview with Person about the process and the importance of archiving conducted by David J. Roth and Dan McQuade of Defector, and watch the special at the Internet Archive. Fun fact: David Mamet directed the special!
Person also wrote a rundown of the cutting edge of analog media archiving (as of mid-2024, anyway) that is extremely worth your time.
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Tim and Jen suffer through a patchwork spy pastiche, Casino Royale.
Errata: Jen attributed the anecdote about producer Charles K. Feldman removing the pay-offs to the jokes in the script to Joe McGrath, but it actually came from another director credited on the film, Val Guest.
Speaking of, you can look through some of superagent-turned-producer Feldman's personal papers courtesy of AFI.
Robert Von Dassanowsky's critical essay on Casino Royale just might be the final word on the film:
"Casino Royale’s relationship to Bond is only emblematic; it is a prismatic translation of Fleming’s milieu, not a linear adaptation. And it remains, even today, a wry and provocative sociopolitical satire. The often criticized inconsistencies of the film’s multiple James Bonds, including the banal 007 of Terence Cooper, brought in to cover Sellers’s unfinished characterization, intentionally work to confuse the issue of Bond, to overwork the paradigm until it has no value. As Walter Benjamin in his influential essay “Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction” would have it, the original artwork, with its auratic value, has been replaced by accessible but worthless copies. Here, the most unique icon of the era is intentionally made common – a fashion, a fad, a façade: the multiple Bonds are all copies of a first copy, Connery’s Bond."
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Jen sends thousands of robots to compel Tim to discuss a film "suggested by" Isaac Asimov's writings, I, Robot!
The creepshot photographer Jen couldn't remember the name of was Miroslav Tichý. You can see many of his surreptitious and admittedly beautiful works at ArtNet.
Speaking of Czech artists, we neglected to mention that Alex Proyas is currently working on an adaptation of Karel Čapek's 1920 play R.U.R. ("Rossum's Universal Robots"). This play, of course, is the one that brought the word "robot" to the English-speaking world.
If you love arid Will Smith blockbusters as much as Tim does (lol j/k), check out our episode on Wild Wild West!
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