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Hexpress Hotline
Hexpress Hotline
10 episodes
1 week ago
Hexpress Hotline is not your average 9-5. Between providing curses to unhappy couples and dealing with complaints, Circe has to deal with rival witches, the HR department, and cats predicting the end of the world... wait, what?
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Comedy Fiction
Fiction
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All content for Hexpress Hotline is the property of Hexpress Hotline and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
Hexpress Hotline is not your average 9-5. Between providing curses to unhappy couples and dealing with complaints, Circe has to deal with rival witches, the HR department, and cats predicting the end of the world... wait, what?
Show more...
Comedy Fiction
Fiction
Episodes (10/10)
Hexpress Hotline
Episode Six

Circe messes with memory. Brendan messes with baking tips. Rose makes a mess.


Hexpress Hotline is a podcast created by Morgan Greensmith, Ella Harding, CS Smith, and Tia Vincent.

Credits:

  • CS Smith as Circe
  • LM Clohessy as Delilah
  • Amy Howlett as Rose
  • Ella Harding as Brendan
  • Morgan Greensmith as The Baron
  • Madi Opincaru as Caller 15
  • Emily Hayhoe as Caller 16
  • Eleanor Holder as Caller 16's Partner
  • Michael Blunder as Caller 17
  • Paul Warren as Caller 17's Partner
  • Joe Mayo as The Answerphone


This episode was written by Ella Harding with additional material by the creators. It was edited by Tia Vincent and CS Smith, with sound design by CS Smith.

You can find us on wherever you get your doomscrolling @HexpressHotline or email us at HexpressHotline@gmail.com

CONTENT WARNINGS:

Hexpress Hotline often contains elements of horror in a lighthearted or comedic context. This episode contains: memory loss, mild violence, existentialism.

TRANSCRIPT

Happy Hexing!


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1 month ago
13 minutes 15 seconds

Hexpress Hotline
Episode Five

The hotline struggles with prank callers. Merlin has some complaints. Poetry will occur (threat).


Hexpress Hotline is a podcast created by Morgan Greensmith, Ella Harding, CS Smith, and Tia Vincent.

Credits:

  • CS Smith as Circe
  • LM Clohessy as Delilah
  • Morgan Greensmith as The Baron
  • Tia Vincent as Merlin
  • Lewis Vincent as Caller 13
  • Sei as Caller 14
  • Vicky Broomhead as Caller 14's Partner


This episode was written by Tia Vincent, with additional material by the creators.

It was edited by Tia Vincent, with sound design by Caitlin Smith.

You can find us on wherever you get your doomscrolling @HexpressHotline or email us at HexpressHotline@gmail.com

CONTENT WARNINGS:

Hexpress Hotline often contains elements of horror in a lighthearted or comedic context. This episode contains: implied harm of children

TRANSCRIPT

Happy Hexing!




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1 month ago
15 minutes 5 seconds

Hexpress Hotline
Episode Four

Rose experiences the breakroom. Delilah has lunch. The floor is lava.

Hexpress Hotline is a podcast created by Morgan Greensmith, Ella Harding, CS Smith, and Tia Vincent.

Credits:

  • CS Smith as Circe
  • LM Clohessy as Delilah
  • Amy Howlett as Rose
  • Ella Harding as Brendan
  • Tia Vincent as Merlin
  • Jen Austen as Caller 11
  • Eden Sinclair as Caller 12
  • Joe Mayo as The Answerphone

This episode was written and edited by Tia Vincent, with additional material by the creators.

You can find us on wherever you get your doomscrolling @HexpressHotline or email us at HexpressHotline@gmail.com

CONTENT WARNINGS:

Hexpress Hotline often contains elements of horror in a lighthearted or comedic context. This episode contains: destruction of property and housing, fire, descriptions of hoarding, mentions of eviction.

⁠TRANSCRIPT⁠

Happy Hexing!

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2 months ago
13 minutes 32 seconds

Hexpress Hotline
Episode Three

A new hire joins the Call Centre. Circe rocks some socks. Crimes against salt lamps are committed.

Hexpress Hotline is a podcast created by Morgan Greensmith, Ella Harding, CS Smith, and Tia Vincent.

Amy Howlett as Rose

Ella Harding as Brendan Crumble

CS Smith as Circe

LM Clohessy as Delilah

Morgan Greensmith as The Baron

ZuZu LeFou as Caller 4

Eirrin Slattery as Caller 8

Will Noakes as Caller 9

Joe Mayo as The Answerphone

This episode was written by Ella Harding, with additional material by the creators. It was edited by CS Smith

You can find us on wherever you get your doomscrolling @HexpressHotline or email us at HexpressHotline@gmail.com

CONTENT WARNINGS:

Hexpress Hotline often contains elements of horror in a lighthearted or comedic context. This episode contains: sex references, existentialism

TRANSCRIPT

Happy Hexing!

Show more...
2 months ago
14 minutes 42 seconds

Hexpress Hotline
Episode Two

Circe struggles with an unsatisfied customer. Delilah takes a break. The Baron chases a mouse.

Hexpress Hotline is a podcast created by Morgan Greensmith, Ella Harding, CS Smith, and Tia Vincent.

CS Smith as Circe

LM Clohessy as Delilah

Morgan Greensmith as The Baron

Will Noakes as Caller 5

Stanley Holder as Caller 6

Flossy Hardy as Caller 6’s Girlfriend

And Andrew Gorman as Caller 7

The episode was edited by CS Smith

You can find us on wherever you get your doomscrolling @HexpressHotline or email us at HexpressHotline@gmail.com

CONTENT WARNINGS:

Hexpress Hotline often contains elements of horror in a lighthearted or comedic context. This episode contains: reference to parent death and murder, therapy, existential dread, depiction of body horror, and a cat hunting mice.

SFX: Screams, mice, chewing.

TRANSCRIPT

Happy Hexing!

Show more...
3 months ago
15 minutes 23 seconds

Hexpress Hotline
Episode One

Circe tackles a successful day of cursing, from cheating partners to rude exes. Brendan delivers a package. The Baron contemplates life. 


Hexpress Hotline is a podcast created by Morgan Greensmith, Ella Harding, CS Smith, and Tia Vincent.

In this episode you heard:

CS Smith as Circe

Ella Harding as Brendan Crumble

Morgan Greensmith as The Baron

Andrew Gorman as Caller 1

Amber Jones as Caller 2

Pietro Spicer as Caller 3

Michelle Goff as Caller 3’s Partner

ZuZu LeFou as Caller 4

Joe Mayo as the Answerphone 

The episode was edited by Tia Vincent, with sound design by CS Smith

You can find us on wherever you get your doomscrolling @HexpressHotline or email us at HexpressHotline@gmail.com

CONTENT WARNINGS:

Hexpress Hotline often contains elements of horror in a lighthearted or comedic context. This episode contains descriptions of mild body horror, breaking and entering, leeches, mentions of missing parent, existentialism, screaming, cheating, vomit.

SFX: Breaking glass, leeches, screaming, vomiting.

TRANSCRIPT

Happy Hexing!

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3 months ago
12 minutes 9 seconds

Hexpress Hotline
Trailer

"HexpressHotlineAdCampaign_final_final_2.mp4"


Transcript here


Credits:

Circe - CS Smith

Brendan - Ella Harding

Delilah - LM Clohessy

Voiceover - Blythe White

Written by Ella Harding and edited by Ella Harding and CS Smith


@HexpressHotline wherever you get your doomscrolling

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3 months ago
3 minutes 36 seconds

Hexpress Hotline
Voicemail #3

[PHONE RINGING. VOICEMAIL BEEP.]

DELILAH: Yello, this is Delilah, putting the "hot" in Hexpress Hotline. I'm a very busy person, with lots of interesting hobbies, and a life outside of work, so there's a pretty good chance I'm not at the phone right now. [BREATH.] Maybe try Circe instead? I am the better hexer, though, so if you're really insistent on a spell from yours truly, leave a message after the tone, and if it's interesting, I'll- get back to you? Maybe. Don't bet on it.

[PHONE BEEP.]

***

Voiced by L. M. Clohessy

Created by C. S. Smith, Tia Vincent, Morgan Greensmith & Ella Harding

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4 months ago
39 seconds

Hexpress Hotline
Voicemail #2

[PHONE RINGING. VOICEMAIL BEEP.]

[BREATH.]

BRENDAN: Uh... hello...? This is Brendan Crumble with Hexpress Hotline. I am HR. If- you're calling about Delilah, we've- we're very sorry. Uh, I'm afraid we're no longer accepting job applications, so please do not forward us your CV. (We have so many, they're all piling up.) Uh, and also, we- we make it very clear in our terms and conditions that all spells are non-returnable, non-refundable and non-negotiable. If you're really insistent on talking about Delilah, press one. Oh, oh no, I think- uh, I think Circe's coming, uh, I've got to get off the phone before she sees me, thank you for calling us, uh, we're always here-

[PHONE BEEP.]


***

Voiced by Ella Harding

Created by C. S. Smith, Tia Vincent, Morgan Greensmith & Ella Harding

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4 months ago
55 seconds

Hexpress Hotline
Voicemail #1

[PHONE RINGING. VOICEMAIL BEEP.]

CIRCE: Hi, this is Circe with Hexpress Hotline. Sorry I couldn't come to the phone. I am always at my desk, so something must be really wrong for me to miss your call. Perhaps Brendan dropped the leeches again. It happens more often than you'd think. Uh, unless this is a government official phoning, uh, in which case that has never happened. [BREATH.]

Anyway. Please leave your message after the tone and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

[VOICEMAIL BEEP.]


***

Voiced by C. S. Smith

Created by C.S. Smith, Tia Vincent, Morgan Greensmith & Ella Harding

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4 months ago
32 seconds

Hexpress Hotline
Hexpress Hotline is not your average 9-5. Between providing curses to unhappy couples and dealing with complaints, Circe has to deal with rival witches, the HR department, and cats predicting the end of the world... wait, what?