Public speaking is one of the most vulnerable things a leader can do. You’re exposed, you’re being judged in real time, and the stakes feel high — which is why most speakers either avoid feedback altogether or settle for vague encouragement like, “Great job!” In this episode, Clay and Adam unpack why that’s a problem and how the right kind of feedback is the fastest path to becoming a better communicator.
Clay opens with the classic Seinfeld line about people preferring to be in the casket rather than giving the eulogy — a reminder that speaking triggers deep vulnerability. Adam follows by naming the trap: if we don’t seek real feedback, we end up believing we crushed it when we may have simply survived it.
The conversation explores three big ideas:
Why speakers need feedback: You’re too close to your own message to see what the audience sees. Your last talk is your best teacher — but only if you know what to listen for.
Why feedback feels so hard: Speaking ties into identity, vulnerability, fear of rework, and the awkwardness of unsolicited critiques.
How to get better feedback: Ask better questions, ask multiple people, and use tools like recordings, surveys, and time-stamped comments to see what you missed.
The episode closes with one simple takeaway:
Growth = vulnerability + curiosity.
The quickest way to get better is to ask for the feedback before the feedback finds you.
Call to Action:
Before your next talk, line up three people and ask,
“Will you give me honest feedback after I speak?”
Most leaders rush to the solution. They skip the most essential part of compelling communication—creating tension. In this episode, Clay and Adam break down why tension matters, how the brain is wired to crave it, and how stronger tension-building can instantly transform any meeting, presentation, or keynote.
In this conversation, Scott Bedgood emphasizes the critical role of audience connection in effective communication, whether in standup comedy, keynotes, or meetings. He discusses how initial engagement is crucial for maintaining attention and ensuring that messages resonate with the audience. Scott also highlights the importance of making communication matter to foster follow-through and engagement.
Follow Scott:
Takeaways:
June 29, 2007— the day public speaking changed forever. Before smartphones, a bored audience member had to doodle or stare at the ceiling. Now they have a casino in their pocket. If you want to hold people’s attention, you’re not just competing with distractions… you’re competing with the most addictive technology ever created.
In this episode, we break down why engagement is no longer optional. Every time you open your mouth, you become a guest in your listener’s mind. And every mind has a ruthless bouncer whose job is to kick out anything boring.
We explore the five main causes of boredom—Irrelevance, Complexity, Aimlessness, Apathy, and Predictability—and give you practical tactics to beat each one. You’ll learn how to stay relevant, simplify your message, create structure, tap into emotion, and use vulnerability to surprise your audience.
The bottom line: It’s your job to engage, not their job to pay attention. If you want to influence people, you have to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
A simple, powerful guide to making your communication impossible to ignore.
Most people think becoming a great speaker means mastering body language, vocal tone, and slide design. But the truth? None of that matters if you don’t have something worth saying.
In this episode, Adam and Clay unpack why public speaking isn’t about polish — it’s about purpose. Drawing from Rob Fitzpatrick’s idea of pseudoteaching, they explore how even flawless delivery can fall flat when the message lacks substance.
You’ll learn:
The myth of mechanics and why performance doesn’t equal impact
Two practical tests for knowing if your message is worth sharing
How to shift your focus from sounding good to saying something good
Whether you’re leading a meeting, pitching an idea, or giving a keynote, this episode will help you stop performing and start communicating.
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Have a message you need help preparing? Send us an email Info@howtolead.work to learn more about our coaching services.
Work is serious — but does it have to feel that way? In this episode, Adam and Clay explore how humor can make us better leaders. From lowering defenses to building trust and sparking creativity, humor isn’t a distraction — it’s a leadership superpower. You’ll learn the kind of humor that works (and what to avoid), why joy is serious business for healthy teams, and three practical ways to lighten up without losing your edge. Plus, a funny story to kick things off and a challenge to bring more laughter into your leadership this week.
As AI transforms the workplace by automating tasks and boosting productivity, leaders face a new challenge: keeping humans engaged, connected, and valued. This episode explores how the real threat isn’t artificial intelligence—it’s disconnection—and offers three ways leaders can respond: coach more, lean into human skills, and make purpose visible. The message is clear: in an AI-driven world, your greatest responsibility is to make work feel more human.
George Bernard Shaw once said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” In this episode, Adam and Clay dig into why miscommunication happens so often at work—and how leaders can prevent it. From funny mix-ups (like a cake with the wrong message) to frustrating real-life examples of missed handoffs and unclear priorities, they explore why clarity is a leader’s most important tool.
You’ll learn five simple habits to make sure your message actually lands:
Repeat back what you hear
Use visuals, not just words
Preview where you’re going
Match tone to intent
Share bad news in person
The big takeaway? Don’t assume communication happened just because you said something. Clarity is leadership.
Every leader eventually faces this challenge: noticing something others don’t—and deciding whether to say it out loud. In this episode, Adam and Clay unpack why helping people see their blind spots is both one of the hardest and most important things leaders do. Drawing from voices like Daniel Goleman, Patrick Lencioni, Kim Scott, and the Crucial Conversations framework, they explore why awareness is the on-ramp to growth and why so many leaders hesitate to start these conversations.
If you care about someone’s growth, you owe it to them to speak up—with kindness, clarity, and curiosity.
Life is hard. You’d better be willing to get dirty.
The path to courage is narrow, demanding—and few are willing to walk it. Courage is always a choice.
On 9/11, after hours of rendering aid, evacuating the wounded, and fighting fires, today's guest and his teammates looked wrecked—bloodied, exhausted, and wearing suits torn to shreds.
Later that day, Darin crossed paths with another group—clean, polished, untouched. Perfect hair. Shiny shoes. Crisp white shirts.
There are two paths: one of comfort and safety, and one of sacrifice and courage. One is wide and crowded. The other is costly and rare.
Which will you choose?
What will you be remembered for?
Get your suit dirty.
Visit Darin's website: HERE
Grab a copy of his book: HERE
Ever played the party game Green Glass Door? The rules keep changing, and the fun comes from watching people struggle to figure them out. Your career works the same way. The skills that made you successful early on—working hard, delivering results, and being dependable—will only take you so far. At some point, you cross The Edge, an invisible line where the rules shift.
On the other side of The Edge, winning isn’t about technical proficiency anymore. It’s about relational savvy—your ability to make decisions, navigate diplomacy, and get things done through others. In this episode, Adam unpacks the two games of a career, why the transition is so confusing, and how to avoid getting stuck playing by the wrong rules.
Drawing on timeless wisdom from Dale Carnegie, you’ll learn practical ways to bring calm, energy, and influence into your leadership. If you’ve ever wondered why working harder isn’t working anymore, this conversation will show you how to play (and win) the new game.
Live learning isn’t just another way to consume content, it’s an experience that commands attention, personalizes the message, and accelerates team momentum. Unlike books or podcasts, a live session meets your people in the moment, speaks directly to their challenges, and creates a shared language that sticks long after the event. For senior leaders, it’s one of the few investments that can deliver six months’ worth of trust, clarity, and alignment in a single day.
What makes a leader unforgettable? In this episode, Adam and Clay reflect on a quiet moment in an airport lounge with former Home Depot CEO Frank Blake—and what it revealed about the kind of leadership that truly lasts. Instead of holding court, Blake was asking questions, listening intently, and showing up with presence.
They break down three simple (but rare) behaviors: staying curious when it’s easier to assume, showing up with presence instead of position, and building a legacy through small, consistent actions that make people feel seen. You’ll walk away challenged to lead like Frank Blake—not by being loud, but by being curious.
Your personal brand is always speaking, whether you’re shaping it intentionally or not. In this episode, we explore six subtle (but telling) clues that your reputation at work might be stuck in the past.
From being known for who you used to be, to struggling to articulate what makes you different today, we break down how to recognize when your brand needs a refresh—and what to do about it. Whether you’re stepping into a new level of leadership or just tired of being overlooked, this episode will help you clarify your brand and communicate it with confidence.
“this is not a fulfilling life”
"why do I want to win this tournament so bad?"
This is the paradox of Scottie Scheffler and there is something for all of us to learn.
“Just ask more questions.”
It’s classic leadership advice — but what if it doesn’t land the way you think?
In this episode, we unpack a tension that’s come up again and again, especially with younger Millennials and Gen Z:
Questions can build trust, open doors, and deepen connection — but when they feel forced, transactional, or performative, they do the opposite.
We’ll explore:
Why the best leaders still ask great questions — but never to manipulate.
What younger employees are really pushing back on when they say, “Don’t interrogate me.”
Four practical ways to make your questions feel authentic, not artificial.
How to match your curiosity to the moment — whether you’re building rapport, coaching, or holding someone accountable.
A simple gut-check to make sure you’re asking to connect, not control.
Closing challenge:
Before you ask your next big question, ask yourself: Do I really want to know the answer?
Then pick one relationship this week and ask a better, braver question — and actually listen to what comes next.
“What Gen Z and Millennials Really Want From Their Leaders”
(And why it’s probably not a ping-pong table)
Today’s younger workforce isn’t just looking for a paycheck or a trendy office perk. Gen Z and millennials want something deeper: meaningful work, balanced lives, and leaders they can actually trust.
In this episode, Clay and Adam unpack the latest findings from the Deloitte Global 2025 survey — revealing what these generations really expect from leadership and why many companies are missing the mark.
Four surprising insights we dig into:
1️⃣ Well-being Isn’t a Perk — It’s the Point
More than half of Gen Zs and nearly half of millennials say they’re anxious or stressed most of the time. They expect leaders to talk about mental health and model healthier work rhythms.
2️⃣ Purpose Matters
Over 60% have turned down work that clashes with their values. They want leaders who act like stewards, not just managers chasing numbers.
3️⃣ Flexibility and Belonging Beat Prestige
Career growth isn’t just about climbing ladders — it’s about feeling seen, included, and trusted with real flexibility.
4️⃣ Growth is the New Loyalty
They’ll stick with leaders who invest in them. Over half have left roles due to a lack of development or career progression.
Throughout the episode, Clay and Adam share honest stories about the leaders who made them feel safe, seen, and stretched — and how today’s managers can do the same without burning themselves out.
Closing challenge:
If you lead anyone under 40, ask yourself: Am I creating a culture that supports well-being, lives out real values, and gives people a reason to stay?
More importantly: Would you want to work for you?
Burnout isn’t a badge of honor—and it’s not the end of the road. In this episode, Clay and Adam unpack four surprising reasons high-capacity leaders hit a wall—and how to bounce back without guilt or heroic grit. From emotional fatigue to financial pressure, they explore what’s really behind burnout and what to do when work won’t let up.
You’ll learn why burnout isn’t always about working too much—sometimes it’s about doing the wrong kind of work. Plus, they share personal stories, practical rhythms, and one small step you can take this week to protect your energy and lead from a healthier place.
Key Topics:
The difference between burnout and exhaustion
Why boredom might be draining your energy
How to lead yourself through stress when no one else will
About Clay Scroggins: Clay Scroggins is a sought-after speaker and leadership coachknown for his practical and engaging approach to leadership. He is the author of three books, most notably How to Lead When You're Not In Charge. With a passion for helping leaders thrive in any environment, Clay brings valuable insights and real-world experience to this podcast and his weekly email. Learn more at ClayScroggins.com
About Adam Tarnow: Adam Tarnow is a recovering CPA and now a partner at PeopleWorks International, where he heads the Leadership Development Practice. He is the co-author of The Edge: How to Stand Out by Showing You're All In and shares his insights on leadership through his Substack, Beyond the Obvious. Learn more at AdamTarnow.com
Middle management gets a bad rap: too much pressure, not enough power, and none of the credit. But what if we’ve misunderstood its purpose all along?
In this episode, we reframe the middle—not as a corporate purgatory, but as a vital proving ground. You’ll discover why this role is more than a rung on the ladder—it’s a shaping season that builds vision, resilience, and sound judgment.
We’ll explore:
Why the role is misunderstood (and unfairly maligned)
How the valley of middle management forms you—not just frustrates you
Where the role is headed in the future—from manager to wayfinder
Key takeaway: Stop trying to escape the middle. Start learning from it.
Challenge: Ask yourself: How is this season shaping me into the leader I’m becoming?
About Clay Scroggins: Clay Scroggins is a sought-after speaker and leadership coachknown for his practical and engaging approach to leadership. He is the author of three books, most notably How to Lead When You're Not In Charge. With a passion for helping leaders thrive in any environment, Clay brings valuable insights and real-world experience to this podcast and his weekly email. Learn more at ClayScroggins.com
About Adam Tarnow: Adam Tarnow is a recovering CPA and now a partner at PeopleWorks International, where he heads the Leadership Development Practice. He is the co-author of The Edge: How to Stand Out by Showing You're All In and shares his insights on leadership through his Substack, Beyond the Obvious. Learn more at AdamTarnow.com
When you hear “control freak,” what comes to mind? Probably someone who micromanages, hoards tasks, and drives everyone nuts. But what if the real issue isn’t being controlling—it’s trying to control everything?
In this episode, we reclaim the term and explore what it means to become an Enlightened Control Freak—someone who’s focused, self-aware, and ruthlessly clear about what’s theirs to own.
You’ll learn a simple 1-2-3 framework to help you:
Name what you want
Separate goals from desires
Control the controllable
If you’re tired of being overwhelmed by things outside your control, this episode will show you a better path—one that leads to clarity, peace, and progress.
Challenge: This week, make two lists—your goals and your desires—and ask: What can I control?
About Clay Scroggins: Clay Scroggins is a sought-after speaker and leadership coachknown for his practical and engaging approach to leadership. He is the author of three books, most notably How to Lead When You're Not In Charge. With a passion for helping leaders thrive in any environment, Clay brings valuable insights and real-world experience to this podcast and his weekly email. Learn more at ClayScroggins.com
About Adam Tarnow: Adam Tarnow is a recovering CPA and now a partner at PeopleWorks International, where he heads the Leadership Development Practice. He is the co-author of The Edge: How to Stand Out by Showing You're All In and shares his insights on leadership through his Substack, Beyond the Obvious. Learn more at AdamTarnow.com