a piece of the story that has come from my past and extends into my future read on Substack.  [https://madeleinefrost.substack.com/] www.madeleinefrost.com [https://www.madeleinefrost.com/]

An All Saints & Souls Day Celebration. Sunset dinner in our forest: photos on Substack. [https://madeleinefrost.substack.com/]  [https://madeleinefrost.substack.com/] Song: It Is Not Death To Die by Sovereign Grace Music. [https://sovereigngracemusic.org/music/songs/it-is-not-death-to-die/]  [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sna3Fp4LZ9g]

The joy won't actually be in the southern wall of windows, or any of the other details, though I'm certain they'll all be perfect because they're made just for us. Subscribe on Substack. [https://madeleinefrost.substack.com/]

a captivating book of blessings; blessings for all types of moments and seasons in ones life. It's new to me and has been water for my soul. (You can buy it on Amazon [https://a.co/d/eEtEaNG] https://a.co/d/eEtEaNGor get it from your local library.)

A lot has changed here in the last two years; most of all, me.

So... I deleted my Instagram. If listening to someone talk about their relationship with social media sounds about as boring to you as listening to someone share their grocery list, don't listen to this. This feels like one of those complicated love stories where there really isn't a good guy or a bad guy. Life is too complex for that black and white retelling.  Subscribe on Substack.  [https://madeleinefrost.substack.com/]

I found myself trying to memorize everything. I wanted it all written on my heart. Subscribe on Substack. [https://madeleinefrost.substack.com/] Madeleine, on Instagram.  [https://www.instagram.com/madeleinefrost/]

Somehow the permission and potential to always be productive took away my freedom to just be.  Subscribe on Substack. [https://madeleinefrost.substack.com/] Madeleine, on Instagram.  [https://www.instagram.com/madeleinefrost/]

But something happened inside of me that day. I lost my sense of safety. It was like, for the first time, I realized the delicate balance of life. And it was then that I began waiting for the other shoe to drop. Subscribe on Substack. [https://madeleinefrost.substack.com/] Madeleine, on Instagram.  [https://www.instagram.com/madeleinefrost/] Mikayla, on Instagram. [https://www.instagram.com/mikayladawnchaparro/] Valor's funeral service. [https://livestream.com/accounts/28656889/events/9871521/videos/226270624]

It seems so strange that such massive shifts happen in my body first, and then my world, and the way I see my world is all completely altered. Subscribe on Substack. [https://madeleinefrost.substack.com/] www.MadeleineFrost.com [https://www.madeleinefrost.com/] Instagram.com/MadeleineFrost [https://www.instagram.com/madeleinefrost/]

It's like shame & regret took up a ton of space inside me-- I didn't even realize-- and now that the real estate is open, compassion has had room to grow. Subscribe on Substack.  [https://madeleinefrost.substack.com/] Instagram.com/MadeleineFrost [https://www.instagram.com/madeleinefrost/]

It feels beautiful and important and appropriate that there is meaning, hope, and magic in writing itself— the vehicle that helps me notice & savor the glimmers in my own life is a glimmer in its own right. Subscribe on Substack.  [https://madeleinefrost.substack.com/] Instagram.com/madeleinefrost [https://instagram.com/madeleinefrost]

—a theme I've learned not to dread but to embrace.  You can subscribe on Substack. [https://madeleinefrost.substack.com/] Instagram.com/MadeleineFrost [https://www.instagram.com/madeleinefrost/]

Follow the #youcansitwithme internet-bestie Sasha Piton on instagram.  [https://www.instagram.com/thesashapiton/]

I want to tell you about a mountaintop experience… perhaps with a burning bush… Something flashy, something for you to gasp at, to tell your friends about. But… Subscribe on Substack. [https://madeleinefrost.substack.com/] Instagram.com/MadeleineFrost [https://www.instagram.com/madeleinefrost/] www.MadeleineFrost.com [https://www.madeleinefrost.com/]

I gave away my body and gave away my morals. I tried on versions of myself like hats. The entrepreneur. The party girl. The traveler. I felt like there was fire inside me waiting to be lit and I kept trying to find the spark, kept looking for the right match. Is it alcohol, boys, success, creativity, travel? I didn't find it. Subscribe on Substack.  [https://madeleinefrost.substack.com/] Instagram.com/MadeleineFrost [https://www.instagram.com/madeleinefrost/]

for the food, for the conversation, for what happens when we enjoy a meal socially, hungry to become the kind of person who dines long and well, no matter what's on the menu.

One realization that changed everything for me: Realizing my physical life and world are also spiritual.

"everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." Victor Frankl

He asked me if I had the ability to change my DNA, would I?  If they could isolate this tendency within me and give me the ability to moderate like a normal person, would I choose that? Probably if you'd asked me a few years ago, I'd say yes. Change it all, take it away from me, give me the normalcy others experience. Now though, my answer is definitely not that. Choosing sobriety is such an important piece in my story. https://www.madeleinefrost.com/