You saw a video on Instagram that sounded like someone describing your life. Now you're lying awake at three in the morning wondering if you're actually Autistic or ADHD. Or are you just looking for an excuse? In this episode, Leah walks through what ADHD and Autism actually look like in adults. Not just the stereotypes of hyperactive boys or non-speaking children. The real lived experience. The signs that get missed. How to start figuring out if this might be you.
In This Episode:
Opening: The Three AM QuestionLying awake wondering if that Instagram video was describing your life. Am I actually Autistic? Do I really have ADHD? Or am I just not trying hard enough?
Introduction: Welcome to Lazy, Messy, WeirdWhat this podcast is about and who it's for. Today we're exploring what ADHD and Autism actually look like in adults. The signs that get missed. How to start figuring out if this might be you.
Adult ADHD: What It Actually Looks LikeNot just hyperactive boys bouncing off walls. The DSM-5 criteria explained. Two types: inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive. Executive function struggles. How masking hides difficulties. The elaborate systems you built to compensate are proof of struggle, not proof you're fine. ADHD brains are motivated by interest, not importance. Hyperfocus: the flip side of distraction. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria. ADHD strengths: creativity, problem solving, thriving in crisis.
Adult Autism: What It Actually Looks LikeNot just non-speaking children obsessed with trains. The DSM-5 criteria developed by observing white boys. How masking hides Autistic traits, particularly in women. Why so many people are both ADHD and Autistic. Social communication differences. Monotropism: focusing deeply on one thing at a time. Stimming for self-regulation. Need for sameness and routine. Special interests as sources of joy. Sensory sensitivities. Masking: camouflaging your true self to fit in. Masking is exhausting. Autistic burnout. Autistic strengths: attention to detail, pattern recognition, deep focus, strong principles.
Other Neurotypes: A Brief OverviewDyspraxia, Dyslexia, Dyscalculia, Dysgraphia.
Now What? Practical Next StepsStay curious and notice patterns. Make notes of what resonates. Try self-assessment tools. Learn more through other people's stories. Trust yourself. Recognition is the first step. You don't need diagnosis to start understanding yourself better.
Closing: What's NextNext episode features Sarah Clein, a public sector leader turned coach for knackered women. How hearing the words 'lazy, messy, weird' in a presentation I gave last year catalysed her journey to diagnosis.
Key Takeaways:
Resources:
About the Host:Leah Milner-Campbell is a former charity CEO and neuroinclusion specialist. She's Autistic, ADHD, Dyscalculic and Dyspraxic, and works with purpose-driven organisations to understand and support neurodivergent leaders and staff.
For 25 years, Leah worked in the charity sector and became a CEO. From the outside, she looked successful. Inside, she was convinced she was lazy, messy and weird. At 37, she discovered the truth. She wasn't any of those things. She was Autistic, ADHD and Dyspraxic. In this first episode, Leah shares her journey from internalising harmful labels to understanding how her brain actually works.
Episode Length: 20 minutes
In This Episode:
Opening: The Labels I Carried Twenty-five years in the charity sector. CEO by the outside view. But internally convinced of being lazy, messy and weird. The moment at 37 when everything changed.
Introduction: Welcome to Lazy, Messy, Weird What thispodcast is about and who it's for. If you're wondering whether you're neurodivergent or have just been diagnosed, this is your space to stop trying to be neurotypical.
Origins: My School Reports The earliest evidence. Teacher comments year after year documenting the same struggles. Where those three labels actually came from.
Lazy: What I Now Know is ADHD "Not motivated todo her best." "You CAN do better." Years of being told to tryharder. Working chapters ahead in one subject while failing to hand in assignments in others. The pattern nobody questioned. Why having an ADHD brain means task completion works completely differently.
Messy: What I Now Know is Dyspraxia Untidy handwriting. Poor coordination. Sitting out of PE afraid of getting hurt. Still bumping into things and spilling drinks today. The difference now is knowing it has a name.
Weird: What I Now Know is Autism Difficulties relating to peers. Sitting alone. Being called bossy. Loving books and rules. Emotional outbursts over "small and inconsequential things." The sensitive child who didn't fit in.
The Impact: Imposter Syndrome and Burnout Depression, anxiety, eating disorders in teenage years. Becoming a highly masking workaholic. Performance reviews echoing the same themes. Emotional intelligence training. Two burnouts. The exhaustion of constantly getting it wrong.
The Discovery: Piecing It Together Social mediaalgorithms putting the right content in front of me. Googling "how do I know if I'm ADHD?" Months later realising I'm Autistic too. This year discovering Dyspraxia. Nearly four decades of feeling weird doesn't disappear instantly, but understanding changes everything.
Reflection: If This Resonates With You You don't needit all figured out. You don't need a diagnosis. You don't even need to be sure. If something about this story sounds familiar, that's enough. That's where I started too.
Closing: What's Next Coming up in the next episode:Am I Neurodivergent? We'll explore what different neurotypes actually look like and how to figure out if this is you.
Key Takeaways:
Resources:
About the Host:
Leah Milner-Campbell is a former charity CEO and neuroinclusion specialist. She's Autistic, ADHD, Dyscalculic and Dyspraxic, and works with purpose-driven organisations to understand and support neurodivergent leaders and staff, so they can build workplace cultures where everyone thrives.
Welcome to Lazy, Messy, Weird. I'm Leah Milner-Campbell, and for most of my life, that's exactly what I thought I was - lazy, messy, weird, and rubbish. Turns out, I wasn't any of those things. I was just neurodivergent.
If you're listening to this, you might be wondering if you're ADHD, Autistic, or otherwise neurodivergent. Or maybe you've just been diagnosed and you're thinking 'now what?' Either way, you're probably exhausted from trying to beneurotypical when your brain simply doesn't work that way.
This podcast is about stopping that impossibletask and starting a different one: figuring out how to be neurodivergent.Because different isn't a bad word - and neither is neurodivergent.