Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

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Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

Todd Creager

259 episodes

5 days ago

What happens when you shut down during a fight with your partner—when your chest tightens, your voice vanishes, and you feel small like a scolded child? Todd explains why some people collapse during conflict while others lash out. It's not about caring less—it's about caring so much that your nervous system shuts down from shame. When shame takes over, you disappear emotionally. Your partner might see it as indifference, but the truth is you're stuck in an emotional freeze response. In this e...

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What happens when you shut down during a fight with your partner—when your chest tightens, your voice vanishes, and you feel small like a scolded child? Todd explains why some people collapse during conflict while others lash out. It's not about caring less—it's about caring so much that your nervous system shuts down from shame. When shame takes over, you disappear emotionally. Your partner might see it as indifference, but the truth is you're stuck in an emotional freeze response. In this e...

Show more...

Society & Culture,

Health & Fitness,

Episodes (20/259)

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#260 | When Shame Makes You Disappear: How to Stay Present During Conflict

What happens when you shut down during a fight with your partner—when your chest tightens, your voice vanishes, and you feel small like a scolded child? Todd explains why some people collapse during conflict while others lash out. It's not about caring less—it's about caring so much that your nervous system shuts down from shame. When shame takes over, you disappear emotionally. Your partner might see it as indifference, but the truth is you're stuck in an emotional freeze response. In this e...

3 weeks ago

10 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#259 | Why Silent Punishment Hurts Your Partner and How to Repair Without Words

What happens when the person you love most goes quiet—not yelling, not fighting, just... gone? In this episode, Todd Creager addresses one of the most painful patterns in relationships: silent punishment. It's not always intentional. You've been hurt, so you pull back. You turn away. You go cold. It feels like self-protection, but to your partner, it feels like rejection. Todd shares the story of Ken and Terry, a couple stuck in a cycle where defensiveness led to withdrawal, and withdrawal le...

1 month ago

7 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#258 | When Your Body Shuts Down During a Fight: Understanding the Freeze Response

What happens when you freeze up during a difficult conversation with your partner—when your mind goes blank, your voice disappears, and you can't find the words? Todd explains why shutting down isn't a weakness. It's your nervous system trying to protect you from emotional overwhelm. In this episode, Todd breaks down the freeze response and why it happens. When your body shuts down, your partner might interpret it as disinterest or rejection. But that's not what's really going on. You're not ...

1 month ago

9 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#257 | Why Defending Yourself Pushes Your Partner Away (And What to Do Instead)"

Does every conversation with your partner turn into a back-and-forth where nobody feels heard? You're not alone—and you're probably not doing anything wrong. You just care deeply about being understood. In this episode, Todd breaks down why defensiveness shows up in relationships and what it's actually doing to your connection. When you defend yourself, even with good intentions, your partner doesn't hear clarification—they hear rejection. The result? More intensity, more frustration, and zer...

1 month ago

9 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

256 | The Need to Be Right is Ruining Your Relationship

In this episode, relationship expert Todd Creager shares the real story of Sam and Barbara—a couple who came to him with "communication problems." But what they actually had was something deeper: a years-long Cold War fueled by the need to be right. After four decades of working with couples, I can tell you this pattern shows up everywhere. Smart, successful people who've built their lives on being right suddenly find that same skill destroying their most important relationship. Here's what w...

1 month ago

8 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#255 | Why Bickering Becomes Your Default (And How to Break the Cycle)

Here's a podcast episode description optimized for podcast platforms and Todd's brand voice: Episode Title: How to Stop Bickering: The Real Problem Isn't Communication Short Description (for podcast apps that limit characters): Constant bickering isn't a communication problem—it's a nervous system problem. After 20+ years working with couples, I share why "just communicate better" is terrible advice and what actually breaks the cycle. Full Description: You know that moment when you realize yo...

1 month ago

8 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#254 | How to Rebuild a New Identity After Cheating on Your Partner

In this revealing episode, relationship expert Todd Creager tackles the profound identity crisis that occurs when infidelity is discovered. If you've betrayed your partner, you're not just facing relationship damage—you're confronting fundamental questions about who you are. Todd guides listeners through five essential questions for identity rebuilding: Who am I now that I've betrayed my values? Can I become trustworthy again? Is change possible? What does recovery look like for serial betray...

2 months ago

15 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#253 | Why Did I Cheat? Understanding the Real Reasons Behind Infidelity (And How to Stop)

If you've been unfaithful to your partner, you're probably drowning in one question: "Why did I do this?" And if you're the betrayed partner, you desperately need to understand: "How could they do this to me?" In this episode, I'm talking directly to people who've cheated—though I want betrayed partners to listen too. Because understanding what drives infidelity isn't about excuses. It's about getting to the truth of what's really happening beneath the surface. After decades of working with p...

3 months ago

16 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#252 | What Kind of Therapy Helps You Heal Infidelity?

In today's episode, I'm diving deep into one of the most important questions I get: when there's been a discovery of infidelity, when do we need therapy? What kind of therapy? What makes sense? I'll be blunt with you - I think you always need therapy after infidelity. Here's why: it's so painful that emotions completely take over. Friends or family may not always be the right people to go to during these times because they have their own feelings. When you're in that stress mode, in that surv...

3 months ago

10 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#251 | Do I Need to Separate to Have Clarity After Infidelity?

One of the most common questions I get from betrayed partners: "Todd, do I need to separate from my partner to get clarity? Do I need to separate to have self-dignity?" And I completely understand why people ask this. When you discover infidelity, your nervous system goes into shock. You can't think straight. You're so agitated by your partner's presence that all you want to do is cry or hit or scream. And here's what I know for sure: you cannot go back to business as usual like nothing happe...

3 months ago

10 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

# 250 | What Boundaries Are Needed After Discovering Infidelity?

After you discover infidelity, everything changes. The sacred boundary around your couple has been ruptured by secrets, and now you need to rebuild it from the ground up. But what does that actually look like day-to-day? In this episode, I walk you through the specific boundaries that are needed post-discovery so that healing can happen and your relationship can thrive again. And I need to be clear about something right up front: if you're the one who betrayed, you don't get to keep your "pri...

3 months ago

12 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#249 | Can You Really Forgive After Infidelity? Finding Your Way Back to Peace

One of the most painful questions I get asked: "Todd, how do I forgive my partner after they cheated on me?" It feels like a monumental task when you've been so hurt, so tossed around, so dishonored by your partner's secrets. Here's what I want you to know right up front - you don't have to forgive. That's totally up to you. But if you can, it makes you feel better because forgiveness is really about the person forgiving, not the person being forgiven. In this episode, I walk you through the ...

4 months ago

13 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#248 | When a Person Who Betrayed is Becoming Trustworthy: Key Signs to Watch For

In this episode infidelity expert Todd Creager discusses one of the hardest questions you're grappling with right now: How do you know when your partner who betrayed you is actually becoming safe again? You thought they were trustworthy before, and then your whole world got turned upside down. I hear this all the time from my couples - "I never thought my partner would be capable of doing that." So how do you recognize real change when you see it? This is such an important question, and...

4 months ago

11 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#247 | Understanding Multiple Infidelities: Essential Insights for the Betrayed Partner

What happens when your partner hasn't just cheated once, but multiple times? If you're dealing with serial infidelities, I know you're asking yourself some really painful questions: "What's wrong with me?" "Why do they keep cheating on me?" "Was any part of our relationship even real?" And here's the thing - after decades of working with thousands of couples, I have some answers that might surprise you. In this episode, you'll discover: Why multiple infidelities are never about you, the...

4 months ago

13 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

# 246 | How Old Do You Feel? The One Question That Saved My 41-Year Marriage

Have you ever noticed how your partner can turn you into a defensive teenager faster than anyone else on the planet? Hi everybody, this is Todd Creager. Picture this: You're a successful adult who handles boardroom meetings, manages a household, and navigates life's challenges with confidence. But then your spouse gives you some feedback, and suddenly you're feeling like a scared 6-year-old who's about to get in trouble. If that sounds familiar, this episode will change everything for you. As...

4 months ago

16 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

245 | The Hidden Truth About Infidelity: Why It’s Never Really About You (And What It Actually Reveals)

Todd's sharing a conversation that could completely change how you think about betrayal and recovery. He recently interviewed Lora Cheadle, a betrayal recovery coach and attorney who discovered her husband's 15-year affair. What drew him to Lora is that she speaks from a deeper place about infidelity—challenging the rigid ideas that keep people stuck rather than helping them heal. Here's what we explore together: Why betrayal uncovers hidden truths about how we've been "performing" in life in...

4 months ago

35 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#244 | Why Attachment Styles Impact Your Sexual Desire

In this episode, Todd Creager shares insights you probably won't find in most relationship books or articles - discoveries he's made from three decades of working with couples about how childhood attachment patterns can directly impact sexual desire in adults. This isn't typical relationship advice. These are real patterns Todd has observed in his practice that help explain why some people struggle with sexual desire, especially after commitment. In this episode, you'll learn: Why men with ov...

5 months ago

13 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#243 | How Your Attachment Style Affects Addictive Behaviors

Have you ever wondered why some people turn to addictions while others don't? In this eye-opening episode, I dive deep into the fascinating connection between our attachment styles and addictive behaviors. Drawing from my years of experience as a therapist, I explain how the way we were nurtured as children impacts our emotional regulation and potentially our relationship with addictive substances and behaviors. In this episode, you'll discover: - The crucial link between your early childhood...

5 months ago

16 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#242 | The Joy of Kissing: Rekindling Passion Through Life's Most Intimate Act

Have you noticed that kissing has taken a backseat in your relationship? As a relationship expert who's helped countless couples rekindle their passion, I've discovered that many couples who once shared passionate kisses now rarely lock lips – some haven't kissed in months or even years. In this episode, I dive deep into the science and emotion behind kissing, sharing why this intimate act is crucial for maintaining a vibrant, connected relationship. What you'll discover in this episode...

5 months ago

7 minutes

Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#241 | Attachment Styles & Infidelity: What You Need to Know

In this episode, Infidelity expert Todd Creager explores the crucial connection between attachment styles and infidelity - a topic he's helped thousands of couples navigate throughout my career. Drawing from his extensive experience as a relationship expert, Todd helps you understand how your early attachment patterns might be influencing your current relationship dynamics and potentially contributing to infidelity. In this episode, you'll discover: • The three main attachment styles (s...

6 months ago

13 minutes