As a Christian counselor working in a parachurch organization, we often receive referrals from local churches to counsel their members. These referrals sometimes reveal troubling dynamics between the counselees and their churches. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/counselees-and-the-local-church/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it’s certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you’ve ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That’s why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-two-marriage-or-mayhem-purposes-for-marriage/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

Biff’s friend, Bert, is known for being a practical joker. Bert's sense of humor is a strength that has endeared him to many, but like most strengths, it has become his greatest weakness. Bert rarely allows for serious conversations, leaning heavily on verbal sparring through sarcasm and mocking, which always dominates the conversations. Being with Bert is like a competitive event, often putting others down in front of their peers. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-freddie-the-flesh-cutter/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

The news of Biff and Mable’s teenage daughter’s pregnancy sent shockwaves through their local church. In response, the pastors recommended marriage counseling, which you agreed to provide. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-present-but-not-accounted-for/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Biff is seeking counseling after his wife, Mable, discovered inappropriate searches on their home computer. Initially, Biff denied any wrongdoing, claiming ignorance. However, the browser history revealed hundreds of ungodly links, leaving no room for doubt. Since they are the only ones with access to the computer, the responsibility clearly rests on Biff. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-his-confession-was-not-greater-than-what-others-knew/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable struggles with deep insecurity masked by self-righteousness. Her desire for perfection and a craving for others’ approval distort her relationships with both God and those closest to her. Her family is well aware of her tendencies but feels unable to address them because Mable is not humble enough to receive feedback about her faults. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-your-high-standards-tempt-me-to-lie/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Forgiveness often seems impossible when the offense is deep, the pain is fresh, or reconciliation feels unsafe. But biblical forgiveness isn’t about forgetting, excusing, or instantly trusting again. It’s about releasing the debt—just as Christ released ours. In this gospel-centered webinar, Rick Thomas reframes forgiveness as an act of worship, not a concession to the offender, helping us see how freedom begins when we entrust justice to God. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-564-webinar-unforgiveness-and-the-gospel/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Biffina, in her 30s, represents many lonely people who have faced the long-term effects of childhood sexual abuse. Biffina, also like so many others, has interpreted her childhood trauma through a lens of self-condemnation. As a result, she now struggles with identity, relationships, and viewing herself biblically. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-the-abused/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable, a nineteen-year-old, grew up in a tumultuous home. Her father’s instability, expressed through pouting and anger-laced outbursts, created an environment of fear, insecurity, and unpredictability. She vividly recalls curling up in a fetal position at night, listening to her parents argue. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-mables-search-for-self-esteem/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Anger is more than a behavior problem—it’s a worship issue. In this powerful webinar, The Heart of Anger: What It Costs, What It Reveals, Rick Thomas exposes the hidden motivations behind both explosive outbursts and silent treatments. Learn how to move past surface-level management and address the root of anger at the heart level through a gospel-centered lens. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-563-webinar-the-heart-of-anger-what-it-costs-what-it-reveals/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable described her marriage in deeply painful terms, saying she feels like a prostitute. She went on to admit that she uses intimacy as a tool to manipulate her husband while he reacts to his unmet desires with pouting or anger. Their relationship is caught in a destructive cycle of sinful behaviors, leaving her feeling hopeless and unsure of how to move forward. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-case-of-the-christian-prostitute/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Three years ago, Biff and Mable became Christians. Biff, 38, and Mable, 39, joined a church shortly after their conversion and began engaging with their community. A year later, Biff expressed his desire to serve on the church's elder board. The church leaders initiated an assessment phase to evaluate his qualifications for leadership. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/meds-and-more/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it’s certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you’ve ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That’s why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-one-marriage-or-mayhem-marriage-asunder/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – In this powerful conversation, Rick Thomas interviews biblical counselor and author Rachel Coyle about her mini-book, Help! She’s Struggling with Pornography. Rachel shares why she wrote the book, how pornography uniquely affects women, and why framing the struggle biblically—as slavery to sin and idolatry—offers lasting hope through Christ. If you’re looking for compassionate, gospel-centered clarity on this often-ignored topic, this episode is essential. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-562-rachel-coyle-help-shes-struggling-with-porn/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Biff, a 42-year-old husband and father, believes the Lord is calling him to pursue a biblical counseling ministry. Seven years into his Christian walk, Biff is zealous about helping others through the transformative power of the gospel. His marriage is stable, and his wife supports his desire to serve. However, both Biff and Mable come from dysfunctional family backgrounds, which continue to influence aspects of their family dynamics. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-the-aspiring-counselor-wannabe/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable has been the go-to person in her church, admired for her dedication to ministry and known for her willingness to serve. Whether counseling, teaching Bible studies, or leading events, Mable is always available and dependable. However, behind the scenes, her home life is far from the ideal picture that her public ministry portrays. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-darker-side-of-mable-the-ministry-mom/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Do you enjoy God? You know, like a good movie or a nice dinner. After a long day, you’re looking for a pleasant escape to something you enjoy. Is God at the top of your “things I enjoy the most” list? My wife was not that way for several decades. Because of her longstanding relationship with legalism, God was not as satisfying as He could have been, so other options competed for her affections. I’m not suggesting she lived in rebellion; she did not. She loved God as much as she knew how to love Him. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/my-wife-is-enjoying-god-finally/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

Biff refuses to engage in meaningful conversation with his wife, Mable, often going weeks with only what she calls his “efficiency speech.” He speaks to her only to address logistical or practical matters of the home but avoids all intimate interaction, relationship building, and mutual care. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-silent-partner/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Biff, a rising junior at a local Christian college, is struggling with pornography and masturbation. These temptations began when he was 12 years old, introduced to him by a friend. At the time, Biff found it strange but stimulating, though he was unaware of the addictive nature of what his friend encouraged him to do. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/if-i-tell-the-truth-my-christian-college-will-expel-me/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Sometimes “extending grace” may mean you’re about to get into conflict with someone. Though you should never look for a fight, you should also not be looking for ways to avoid redemptive moments when it is within your competency and context to help someone who is struggling. Avoidance, masked as peacekeeping, is not peacemaking. Love speaks the truth—graciously, patiently, redemptively—but it speaks (Ephesians 4:15). Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/hiding-behind-grace-to-avoid-the-hard-things/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.