Most parents and birth workers will tell you that giving birth is nothing like what you see in the movies. In Veena’s case, however, it was! In this episode, Veena shares her birthing story and reflects on the unexpected emotions that accompanied it after nothing went fully according to plan. We discuss how birthing during Covid shaped birthing plans, and the early first weeks of having a new baby at home without outside support from loved ones. We also touch on birthing as a portal that makes it both miraculous and scary, and bookmark for later a longer discussion about the maternal mortality crisis in the United States.

During the third trimester, everything gets really real, and you have no choice but to accept how much your world is about to change. Your body almost never feels comfortable, the frequency of your prenatal visits and tests increases, and you really do need to pack your hospital bag (!). In this episode, we talk about how the Covid-19 pandemic added virtual layers to certain third trimester traditions, as well as how new stressors brought on by ever-changing hospital policies impacted the tone and tenor of birthing experiences. We also reflect on how the news of George Floyd’s murder, and the global reactions to it, emotionally impacted us as mothers-to-be.

During the second trimester, it might start to really sink in that you're going to have a baby. You might start making plans, including fun ones, to mark this transition into parenthood. For Veena, most of this was true. For Misa, though, it wasn’t just the baby that was becoming more real. During her second trimester COVID-19 became understood as a real threat in the US. In this episode we discuss our contrasting experiences in our second trimesters of pregnancy. We reflect on (and maybe roll our eyes at) the strong opinions others had about our birth plans. And we marvel, in hindsight, at the experimental living arrangements and the strange and fun last moments of in-person gatherings we experienced before the safer-at-home orders changed life completely.

In this episode we continue reflecting on “the before times” through the lens of our first trimester. We dive into discussions (and laughter) about: first realizing pregnancy was upon us; being nervous about being excited; the politics of disclosure (when to tell, who to tell, and why); needed areas of improvement with prenatal care of pregnant people outside of testing; and, surprisingly, epigenetics.

For our second season, we begin by looking back at the “before times,” when our mental calculus was not focused on decisions around indoor gatherings, masks, vaccinations, and remote vs. in-person working — and instead on whether or not we wanted to have children. We discuss what factors led to us deciding to try for children, what our worries, fears, and concerns were, and reckon with the moments when we realized how much we ourselves devalued the labor of child rearing, and why.

The postpartum phase isn’t just about physically healing our bodies — so much more is happening, especially during a pandemic. Our bodies can hold experiences and emotions that we aren’t always aware of. And this can be compounded when you are a part of the 15-20% of people who identify as a Highly Sensitive Person. Misa and Veena contemplate what emotions and experiences our bodies may still be holding after giving birth during the COVID-19 pandemic. Long story short, birthing people need nurturing. They also need tangible resources and support.

Becoming a mother during the pandemic sometimes transforms the taken-for-granted aspects of parenthood into major milestones. Not so much milestones in terms of your child’s development, but your own transition into being seen and identifying as a parent. Misa and Veena talk about the unexpected rhythms of pandemic parenting, embracing their new identities as mothers, as well as coming back to themselves beyond being parents.

New parenthood is often isolating. It can be hard to sort out how much of that aloneness is new parenthood in the U.S. in general, and how much of that is unique to the pandemic. What’s clear is how much we need each other — for community, for support, for role models. Misa and Veena discuss the loneliness of early parenthood and the often overlooked need to feel nurtured when stepping into motherhood.

What does it mean to say a mother is born when a baby is born, when your whole experience of parenthood has been isolated at home while it feels like the world is continually on fire? We are two years into the pandemic, and there hasn’t been space to process the ongoing crises — much less what it means to bring a life into the world at this time. Trained as anthropologists, long time friends Misa and Veena explain why they started this show, and the importance of taking the time to process becoming parents in 2020.