In which we learn that writing a newsletter can get you (almost) laid. This week on None of My Business, we meet Luke*, a 33-year-old whose love language is coordinated outfits and has a particularly shocking story about the one who got away. And joining Sophia and Kelsey to read as Luke is the hilarious comedian Carter Hambley. (*As always, not Luke’s real name, but definitely his real stories.) This week’s episode includes … 00:00: When a ghosting becomes a haunting. 04:50: Our guest: Carter Hambley. 09:18: Our business: “Luke.” 11:17: First Things First: “I grew up Presbyterian.” 18:02: One Who Got Away: “A building with 40 stories.” 39:45: Best I Ever Had: “Sex is great either place.” 51:13: Best I Ever Had Part 2: “I’m going to ask him to film us f*****g.” 1:02:28: Status Update: “I’m enjoying the fun.” If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com. Follow Carter on IG! https://www.instagram.com/carterhambley Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen Guest: Cater Hambley Supervising producer: Justin Sayles Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle Video editing and production: Kayla Talley Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris Motion design: Skull Closet Studio Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from http://premiumbeat.com. CONNECT Instagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod TikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod Sophia's Twitter: x.com/1followernodad Sophia's Instagram: instagram.com/sgbenoit Kelsey's TikTok: tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen Kelsey's Instagram: instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Get ready to find out what asynchronous swinging is. This week, we welcome on Rachel Lindsay, a former Bachelorette and the host of the esteemed Ringer podcasts Higher Learning and Morally Corrupt. Rachel will be helping us share stories from Jessica* that include fun with polyamory, a spicy hookup in the kitchen, and a lot more. (*As always, not her real name, but definitely her real stories.) This week’s episode includes … 00:00: Would you sign up for a reality dating show?03:50: Our guest: Rachel Lindsay11:24: Our business: “Jessica”15:05: First Things First: “I was arranging it like a business deal.”22:44: Worst Ex: “He’s the reason I live in Charlottesville.”27:28: Love Is an Open Door: “We got pretty close to an actual swinging situation.”51:19: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: “I barely touched him. It was all about me.”55:29: Best I Ever Had: “I got no sleep. But it was so good.” If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com. Follow Rachel on Instagram!https://www.instagram.com/therachlindsay/ Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June JensenGuest: Rachel LindsaySupervising producer: Justin SaylesAdditional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin GayleVideo editing and production: Kayla TalleySocial: Sasha Ashall and Austin GayleArt direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya ZenierisMotion design: Skull Closet StudioAdditional motion design support: Chris CalletonTheme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from http://premiumbeat.com. CONNECTInstagram: http://instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.podTikTok: http://tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.podSophia's Twitter: http://x.com/1followernodadSophia's Instagram: http://instagram.com/sgbenoitKelsey's TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensenKelsey's Instagram: http://instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, we’re fanning the flames of love with stories about a wild date with an arsonist, an international affair to remember, and some hands-on research. Joining us in the middle chair is the hilarious Blair Socci, whose voice you may recognize from ‘Bob’s Burgers,’ the ‘Aqua Teen Hunger Force’ movie, or her amazing new podcast, ‘Spaced Out With Blair Socci.’ Blair will be reading as “Corrine”—and as always, these are real stories, even if that’s not Corrine’s real name. Today’s episode includes … 00:00: We gotta stop pumping these guys up.04:53: Our guest: Blair Socci11:14: Our Business: “Corrine”19:25: First Things First: “Let me tell you: Ow.”25:06: Best I Ever Had: "What Happens in Bed: A Performance Art Piece."30:06: Craziest Sex Stories: “The arson’s bad. That bums me out.”43:07: One Who Got Away: “The person who told me that Boone had OD’ed.”50:04: One Who Got Away Part 2: “Sun. Tacos. Hanging out with you." If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com. Buy tickets to Blair’s benefit show on December 6th at the Largo featuring Anthony Jeselnik and many more!https://wl.eventim.us/event/blair-socci-and-friends/669217?afflky=LargoAtTheCoronet Follow Blair’s new podcast on Instagram!https://www.instagram.com/spacedoutwithblairsocci/?hl=en Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June JensenGuest: Blair SocciSupervising producer: Justin SaylesAdditional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin GayleVideo editing and production: Kayla TalleySocial: Sasha Ashall and Austin GayleArt direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya ZenierisMotion design: Skull Closet StudioAdditional motion design support: Chris CalletonTheme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from http://premiumbeat.com. CONNECTInstagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.podTikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.podSophia's Twitter: x.com/1followernodadSophia's Instagram: instagram.com/sgbenoitKelsey's TikTok: tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensenKelsey's Instagram: instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Love is a battlefield. Literally. Today, we bring you a tale that involves a breakup at Gettysburg, a wild hotel balcony incident, and a mysterious sex god named Don who’s had a little bit of trouble with TSA. And sharing these stories is the hilarious Tamara Yajia, author of the new book ‘Cry for Me, Argentina: My Life as a Failed Child Star’ and someone who enjoys a good time at Jumbo’s Clown Room. Tam will be reading as “Francesca”—as always, not a real name but definitely all real stories. Today’s episode includes … 00:00: Kelsey is Sophia’s travel nightmare02:48: Our Guest: Tamara Yajia09:40: Our Business: “Francesca”13:35: First Things First: “The back of my 2001 Acura MDX”22:08: Worst Ex:  “We broke up at Gettysburg”31:00: Best I’ve Ever Had: “It’s gotta be Don. It’s Don.”46:46: Craziest Hookup: “Fully nude. Fully outside.”51:01: Status Update: “Five or six. They’re all so needy.” If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com. Follow Tam on Instagram!instagram.com/tamarayajia Buy Tam’s new book, ‘Cry for Me Argentina: My Life as a Failed Child Star’https://a.co/d/7bHd9LJ Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June JensenGuest: Tamara YajiaSupervising producer: Justin SaylesAdditional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin GayleVideo editing and production: Kayla TalleySocial: Sasha Ashall and Austin GayleArt direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya ZenierisMotion design: Skull Closet StudioAdditional motion design support: Chris CalletonTheme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license from http://premiumbeat.com. CONNECTInstagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.podTikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.podSophia's Twitter: x.com/1followernodadSophia's Instagram: instagram.com/sgbenoitKelsey's TikTok: tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensenKelsey's Instagram: instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Get ready to get tossed around, WWE style. Today, we welcome EJ Marcus, the hilarious comedian and writer on the new HBO show, ‘I Love LA.’ He’ll be reading as Delaney*, a 31-year-old from Ithaca who describes herself as “culturally a lesbian, but bisexual." Join us as we break down stories about random BDSM hookups, what it’s like being the third in TWO separate relationships, and a nightmare of a soccer team coaching arrangement. (*Not her real name, definitely her real stories.) This episode includes … 00:00: Kelsey loves magic (still).07:33: Our guest: EJ Marcus13:10: Our business: "Delaney"15:39: First Things First: “People are doing this all the time?”25:48: Worst Ex: "She wouldn’t even tell people she was my girlfriend.”37:57: Best I Ever Had: "Not all heterosexual men really love women.”54:08: Craziest Hookup: "Whips and restraints and ball gags”1:01:50: Status Update: “Two couples” If you have business you’d like to submit, hit us up at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com Follow EJ Marcus!Instagram: instagram.com/ejhavingfunTikTok: tiktok.com/@ejhavingfun Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June JensenGuest: EJ MarcusSupervising producer: Justin SaylesAdditional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin GayleVideo editing and production: Kayla TalleySocial: Sasha Ashall and Austin GayleArt direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya ZenierisMotion design: Skull Closet StudioAdditional motion design support: Chris CalletonTheme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license by http://premiumbeat.com CONNECTInstagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.podTikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.podSophia's Twitter: x.com/1followernodadSophia's Instagram: instagram.com/sgbenoitKelsey's TikTok: tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensenKelsey's Instagram: instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

An episode heavy on crime: shoplifting, missing people, and overdue porno tapes. This week, we welcome on the one and only Van Lathan, the host of Ringer podcasts such as Higher Learning, Midnight Boys, and Ringer Tailgate. He’ll be reading as Valentina*, a woman who’s had her fair share of weird exes and heartbreak, but is managing to dance her way through it all. (*Not her real name, definitely her real stories.) Today’s business includes … 00:00: Voice memos are hell.05:11: Our guest: Van Lathan06:31: Our business: "Valentina"08:16: First Things First: “He produced for the Wu-Tang Clan specifically.”12:05: Worst Ex: "I turn around and standing there is his mom.”26:46: One Who Got Away: "If there is criminal activity …”45:08: Best I Ever Had: "The Prince."50:04: Status Update: "Conscious celibacy." If you have business you’d like to submit, reach out to us at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com. Instagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.podTikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.podSophia's Twitter: x.com/1followernodadSophia's Instagram: instagram.com/sgbenoitKelsey's TikTok: tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensenKelsey's Instagram: instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen Van's Instagram: instagram.com/vanlathanVan's Twitter: x.com/VanLathan Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June JensenGuest: Van LathanSupervising producer: Justin SaylesAdditional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin GayleVideo editing and production: Kayla TalleySocial: Sasha Ashall and Austin GayleArt direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya ZenierisMotion design: Skull Closet StudioAdditional motion design support: Chris CalletonTheme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license by premiumbeat.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Lock in, because it’s Bosco Sticks Day. This week, we’ve got a special story about the most fun girl in Cincinnati. Join us as the hilarious Sam Taggart from Straightiolab reads as Annie*, a nanny who had a slightly complicated relationship with one of her bosses. (*Not her real name, definitely her real stories.) Today’s business includes … 00:00: The cringe of early dating.06:35: Our guest: Sam Taggart12:00: Our business: “Annie”16:00: First Things First: “It was a mess.”29:47: State of Affairs: “This lesbian couple reached out …”46:03: Worst Ex: “Get all the ick you want.”56:07: Shoulda Known Better: “She introduced me to eating ass.”01:00:54: Status Update: “Actually the best sex I’ve ever had.” If you have business you’d like to submit, reach out to us at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com Instagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod TikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod Sophia's Twitter: x.com/1followernodad Sophia's Instagram: instagram.com/sgbenoit Kelsey's TikTok: tiktok.com/@kelseyjunejensen Kelsey's Instagram: instagram.com/kelseyjunejensen Sam's Podcast (Straightiolab): instagram.com/straightiolab Sam's Instagram: instagram.com/samtaggart Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June JensenGuest: Sam TaggartSupervising producer: Justin SaylesAdditional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin GayleVideo editing and production: Kayla TalleySocial: Sasha Ashall and Austin GayleArt direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya ZenierisMotion design: Skull Closet StudioAdditional motion design support: Chris CalletonTheme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license by premiumbeats.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Toss on your goggles and head to the playa with us, because we have a fun one for you. This week, we're joined by Greta Titelman, the amazing actor and comedian you may recognize from 'Search Party,' 'Los Espookys,' and 'Problemista.' She'll be reading as "Lucas*"—a ladies' man from Los Angeles with some tales about Burning Man and a threesome faux pas that nearly ended a friendship, plus one group story that's so good we don't want to spoil it here. (*Not his real name. Definitely his real stories.) Today’s business includes … 00:00: A tale of two Bobs 07:43: Our guest: Greta Titelman 08:20: Our story: “Lucas” 13:11 First things first: “This is cool" 15:10: Worst ex: “Terminator vibes” 24:30: The one who got away: "My main three exes" 32:26: Wildest sex stories: "I'll just call it a cult" 49:25: Best I ever had: “On a blanket in the middle of Burning Man" 55:24: Status update: “I gotta chill out a bit” If you have business you’d like to submit, reach out to us at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com. Follow None of My Business on Instagram and TikTok. Follow Greta Titelman on Instagram and TikTok. Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen Guest: Greta Titelman Supervising producer: Justin Sayles Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle Video editing and production: Kayla Talley Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris Motion design: Skull Closet Studio Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license by premiumbeats.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re back with one of our favorites. This week, we’re joined by comedian and co-host of the podcast Exploration Live Charlie Bardey, who’s reading anonymous stories from Gwen*. Strap in as we talk about a journalism assignment that led to self-discovery, someone with the super power to smell sperm, and livesex at SIRenty Farms. Plus, we try to figure out to get Kelsey a boyfriend that can be Sophia’s buddy. (*Not her real name. Definitely her real stories.) Today’s business includes … 00:22: Should you be buddies with your friend’s boyfriend? 10:30: Our guest: Charlie Bardey 16:32: Our story: “Gwen” 18:35: The backstory: “Beating a path to the glory hole.” 30:40: First things … second: “She literally smelled cum on my breath.” 39:19: Worst ex: “He’s why I ended up in Kansas City.” 45:22: Places and space: SIRenity now. 48:00: Cheat sheet: “Barbara Bush.” 53:45: Best I’ve ever had: “The sugar baby thing.” 57:40: Status update: “I speak Jesus, I can fake a prayer.” If you have business you’d like to submit, reach out to us at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com. Follow None of My Business on Instagram and TikTok. Follow Charlie Bardey on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter. Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen Guest: Charlie Bardey Supervising producer: Justin Sayles Additional production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle Video editing and production: Kayla Talley Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle Art direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris Motion design: Skull Closet Studio Additional motion design support: Chris Calleton Theme song: “Feeling Myself” by Joseph, used under license by premiumbeats.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re popping our podcast cherries! It’s our first episode, and Sophia and Kelsey are joined by Paige Gallagher to read anonymous stories from Isabella*. We’re talking about men who wash their face with Dawn dish soap, pegging the Marines, a few unconventional marriage arrangements, and dating someone who looks exactly like you. (*Not her real name. Definitely her real stories.) Today's show includes ... 00:23: Welcome to None of My Business! 10:29: Our guest: Paige Gallagher 11:59: Our story: “Isabella” 15:00: First things first: “I’ve actually never had an orgasm” 24:14: Peg the Marines 34:53: Worst first date: “Why aren’t you kissing me?” 38:52: The one who got away: The two-year situationship 47:04: Cheat sheet: The cousin story 54:32: Best I ever had: “I don't consider myself a size queen, but …” If you have business you’d like to submit, reach out to us at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com. None of My Business Instagram: instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod None of My Business TikTok: tiktok.com/@noneofmybusiness.pod Paige Instagram: instagram.com/paigeagallagher Paige TikTok: tiktok.com/@pgally Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen Guest: Paige Gallagher Supervising Producer: Justin Sayles Additional Production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle Video Editing and Production: Kayla Talley Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle Art Direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris Motion Design: Skull Closet Studio Additional Motion Design Support: Chris Calleton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Because we all love hearing things that aren't any of our business. Each Monday, Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen take you on a journey into the private sex lives and relationships of real-life (anonymous) people—with the help of our favorite funny people. If you'd like to submit your stories ~anonymously~ reach out to us at noneofmybusinesspodcast@gmail.com, and we'll get back to you. Follow us on IG: http://instagram.com/noneofmybusiness.pod Follow us on TikTok: http://tiktok.com/noneofmybusiness.pod Subscribe on YouTube: youtube.com/@NoneOfMyBusinessPod Hosts: Sophia Benoit and Kelsey June Jensen Supervising Producer: Justin Sayles Additional Production: Sasha Ashall, Julianna Ress, and Austin Gayle Video Editing and Production: Kayla Talley Social: Sasha Ashall and Austin Gayle Art Direction: David Shoemaker and Aleya Zenieris Motion Design: Skull Closet Studio Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices